The Wild Child
by Ultrawoman
Summary: AllHuman AU. Buffy Summers is out of control, and is sent to her Godfather in England for the Summer. What influence will Mr Giles have on his goddaughter? And what influence might she have on his docile nephew, William Rayne.
1. The Arrivals

A/N : After a lot of thinking, some advice getting, and some decision weighing, I finally caved and decided I needed to write this fic. The idea exploded in my head with so many possibilities that I just really need to write it. I apologise profusely to all those people who will now have to wait an extra couple of days at a time for new chapters of my other WIPs, but here's hoping you will like this fic enough that you'll forgive me.

Title : The Wild Child  
Rating : PG-13  
Summary : All-Human AU. Buffy Summers is out of control, and is sent to her God-father in England for the Summer before Senior year, in the hopes that when she returns to Sunnydale she'll be more of a lady and less of a wild girl. What influence will Mr Giles have on his god-daughter? And what influence might she have on his docile nephew, William Rayne.  
Disclaimer : All recognisable characters are based on Joss Whedon's creations for the TV series' Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel The Series.

Chapter 1 - The Arrivals

The sound of Joan Jett's voice at considerable volume filled Buffy's ears through the headphones as she relaxed her head back against the aeroplane seat and tapped along to the very appropriate 'Bad Reputation'. She wasn't even really bothered about listening to it right now but the guy next to her was visibly irritated by the sound which he could hear beyond her headphones. Annoying what appeared to be someone who thought he was above everyone else was worth listening to more music than she really felt the need too.

A glance out the window and Buffy saw the edge of California disappear from sight. She didn't care so much that she'd left Sunnydale or her Aunt and Uncle, it wasn't her home and they didn't care enough to count as family, despite the fact they were actual blood relations. The only person Buffy would really miss was her cousin, Faith, who had become more like a sister to her these past eight years.

Eight years. Had it really been so long since she'd seen her parents, since that horrible day when she was told they'd gone to heaven and wouldn't be coming back. Though she never admitted it to anyone but herself, Buffy missed her mother and father terribly, and the old life she had with them back in Los Angeles.

L.A. was her real home, with Joyce, her Mom, in charge of the gallery down-town, and Hank, her father, working as a top lawyer for Wolfram and Hart. Buffy was proud to be their daughter. She loved school and seeing her friends and being the perfect little angel in every sense. Looking at her now, things had definitely changed.

One night when Buffy was staying over at a friends house, Joyce and Hank went out celebrating him winning his latest big case. They enjoyed dinner, drinks, and dancing before heading back home, and that was when tragedy struck.

Buffy closed her eyes and grimaced at the memories that danced behind her lids. The newspaper pages with the ugly photographs, waiting for a verdict on the man who took their lives. Details of the gun he carried, the drugs he'd taken, the way he lived. Words of remorse as he explained he'd just needed the cash, and Joyce had struggled to keep her purse. The gun went off, he hadn't meant for it to...not the first time, then he couldn't leave a witness who had seen his face.

He was sent to prison for fifteen years, but Buffy felt she had the worse deal as the authorities agreed with the Summers' last wishes and sent their daughter to live with her Aunt and Uncle in Sunnydale. The little blonde girl had nothing against the Wilkins, she just didn't know them very well, and to be torn from your home, your life, and worst of all your parents, at the tender age of nine, that was not something any child should have to endure.

Still, Buffy felt she'd coped better than a lot of girls would. Despite Faith's influence on her, she never did drugs or attempted suicide as she grew up. Sure she drank, but didn't everyone? And she had the occasional cigarette. Petty crime, well that wasn't usually something she set out to do, it just kind of happened...and then there were the men. Her Aunt quite despaired of her where the male side of the population were concerned, though it was a miracle the woman even noticed!

Buffy's Uncle Richard was the Mayor of Sunnydale and his role as town leader ate up a lot of his time. Aunt Rachel was always right there with him, lending her support, and it left little time for Faith, nevermind Buffy who was only a niece, not a daughter.

The Summer following Junior year of High school, the Wilkins finally decided it would be better to split the two girls for a while in the hopes that at the very least their own daughter's behaviour might improve. It didn't seem to occur to them that Faith had always been a little wild one, where as Buffy had only changed since coming to be around her cousin!

Still Faith was to stay home and spend more time with her mother who was determined to make a lady out of her unruly girl yet. Meanwhile, Buffy was told she was to stay with her God-father for the Summer, and that meant a plane ticket and a ride to England.

Buffy's memories of Rupert Giles were exceptionally vague. She knew he and her father had been friends since the Giles family moved to America when the boy was just twelve years old. He and Hank were the best of friends all through High School and college, and when it came to marrying Joyce who would Hank choose for a best man but Giles. Soon Buffy was born and again he was called upon for her christening to take the role of God-father.

Apparently he quite doted on her as a baby, buying her gifts and always offering to help out whenever he could. But when Buffy was five, Giles had gone away, back to England to run his Uncles estate when the old man sadly passed away. Buffy couldn't remember being particularly bothered, but then she couldn't really remember this Giles person at all, other than she thought she'd liked him when she was a kid.

Thoughts and memories filled her head and she was soon falling asleep, still wondering what her Summer was going to turn out to be like. Without Faith, without The Bronze, their usual hang-out, and without Angel...

* * *

The plane landed on the runway at Stanstead and Buffy looked out the window at the grey cloudy sky. She'd expected it to be raining, since this was England after all, and she quite fancied running through a storm for a change. After the near constant mind numbingly boring, sunny days of the aptly named Sunnydale, it would be a pleasant releif. Still, she had the whole Summer, this was only Day One. 

As everyone filed off the plane and across into the airport, Buffy sighed. Little kids and parents, running at each other with grins and squeals of delight, was the sight that met her eyes as they came in through the gate. Boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives, all embracing and kissing and exchanging I love you's and I missed you's. Buffy tried not to look at the displays of affection, since she knew there would be no such thing for her. She barely knew this Giles guy that was supposed to pick her up, hence the reason he'd said he would have a card with her name on, much as some of the business people waiting for foreign clients and such had.

Amongst the rabble of people, there was no card with Buffy Summers written on it and the girl shook her head. Was she surprised that no-one had come to collect her? Nope, not at all. It wasn't as if anyone actually cared what she did. Fishing in her pocket she managed to find the piece of paper with the scrawled address on it, the one that started with Giles House. Originally she'd thought it just meant that man's home, until it was explained to her that the guy lived in some kind of mansion or whatever.

With just one large bag thrown on her shoulder, the black clad figure of Buffy Summers wandered back outside where taxi cabs waited alongside more smiling relatives. Still the young blonde stood alone.

"You okay?" a voice asked behind her and she swivelled around to see a man just an inch or two taller than herself in biking leathers, "You look a little lost"

"Can't be lost if you know where you are" she answered smartly, and with a smile "This is England, right?"

"Last time I checked" the man smiled back, "Still, you don't seem altogether familar with your surroundings as I myself am...Could I assist in some way?"

"Gotta love you British guys" Buffy shook her head, still smiling, "Can't say anything simple, always gotta use ten more words than you need" she told him, "But, you're not bad to look at and I have nothing better to do so...you know where this is?" she asked, handing him the piece of paper in her hand.

"Of course" the man nodded, wondering how this girl was anything to do with the Giles' family.

"So, er...name?" she prompted and he quickly remembered himself, holding out a hand to her.

"Pryce, Wesley Wyndham-Pryce" he said too correctly and Buffy rolled her eyes. Two minutes after she steps off the plane and she'd already run into her first wannabe cool guy.

"Okay Wes" she sighed, ignoring his hand until it retracted, and not bothering to tell him her own name "You got transportation?" she asked and he nodded, leading her over to a black motorcycle with red flames painted down the side.

'Definite wannabe' Buffy tried not to smile as he climbed onto the bike and she slid on behind him. He offered her the only helmet he had but she declined. The British wind in her hair, thats what she wanted. She wanted to take in the feeling of this country, this life she was to have for the next three months, and this was how she intended to start doing it.

The scenery rushed passed her face at sixty miles an hour. It was like flying without wings and made her feel awake and alive after so many hours trapped in a trans-atlantic steel tube. The world continued to appear in a blur until an angry red light made Wes pull the bike up sharply.

Buffy took the oppurtunity to change her grip on the man and shift in the seat, looking around at all the jammed traffic as she did so. To her left was something that caught her attention.

A huge car, black and definitely expensive, complete with tinted windows, that were doing little to hide the passenger in the back since he had it rolled down far enough that Buffy could see his face. She wondered absently who he might be. Some rich and important stuck-up British guy, with more money than brain cells and no real concept of living life at all, she guessed.

As if he felt her eyes upon him he turned to look and for a second their eyes met. Buffy was taken aback by the depth of them and the bright blue colour like the sky back home. She was a little surprised when she re-focused her eyes and found he was not just smiling at her but blushing because he'd noticed she was staring. As the traffic lights changed to green she gave him a sexy wink as Wes revved the bike and they pulled away at double the speed of the car, weaving in and out of all other vehicles as they sped on through the town.

A few more minutes and they passed the 'You are now leaving...' sign and were in the countryside, the like of which Buffy hadn't ever seen before. Home wasn't like this. It was all fresh and green and so very British out here, with fields full of sheep and cattle, and little houses and cottages set into the landscape that all blurred together as they rode at high speeds.

The mansion of a house came into view many minutes before they reached it. Like something off the cover of one of the books her aunt sometimes read, by Jane Austen or some other author that didn't interest the blonde at all. It must have at least sixty windows across the front alone, with ornate statues, fountains, and arrangemets of plants making a huge garden outside.

The bike pulled up at the gate and a security camera swivelled to look at them.

"It's me" Wesley said in the direction of it, helmet off now so his identity could be confirmed.

There was a buzz and a click as the gates were unlocked and opened of their own accord, the bike powering on through as soon as the gap were wide enough. Buffy was in awe of the building they approached. So far it looked like this trip to England might be better than she'd anticipated, except it seemed this house was a pretty long way from anywhere else...

"Welcome to Giles House" Wesley anounced as he pulled up outside the doors and they both got off the bike.

"Seems like you know this place" she said suspisciously, "I mean, security guys don't let just anyone in these places, right?"

"A friend of mine works here" he said, almost uncomfortably, just as a red-haired girl came barrelling from the side door and threw herself into his arms.

"A friend?" Buffy smiled, "Or a girlfriend?"

"Er, this is Willow" Wes said with a shrug as Buffy gave him a look.

"Oh, hi" Willow smiled shyly as she stayed in his arms and glanced over at the blonde, taking in her tight, revealing, and mostly black attire. She didn't seem to be the kind of girl her boyfriend associated with, and she wasn't entirely sure she approved he was starting now. The motorbike had been a bit of a sore point, but racy women now?

"Hey" Buffy smiled fakely, "Is, er, Rupert Giles here?" she asked, looking back up at the huge building before them.

"Oh, no, not right now" Willow shook her head, "He's gone to pick up his God-daughter from the airport. She's coming from America..." she stopped talking when it suddenly occurred to her that Buffy herself had a California accent, "You?" she checked.

"Me" came Buffy's reply with a nod, "I guess we missed each other, huh?"

"I don't understand" Willow frowned, "He left for Heathrow hours ago!"

"That'd be fine except, er..." Wesley was now frowning also "Good heavans, I don't know your name" he realised

"Buffy" she supplied, "and I flew in to Stanstead" she almost laughed at how ridiculous the situation was, "We can still get inside right?"

"Oh, sure" Willow shook herself out her daze. She hadn't meant to be staring at this girl but she was so completely not what she'd expected. Coming from LA she'd expected a Valley girl type, all dyed-blond hair and fashionable clothes. Here was a semi-punk/goth type girl who's permanent expression seemed to be a frown and whilst her hair was dyed-blonde, it also had black streaks that made her look quite wild and scary.

The three went into the house, through the front door this time since Buffy was a guest, but Willow felt very weird about it.

"Um, I guess I should show you your room" she realised, making her way up the large staircase in the centre of the entrance hall. Buffy just stood at the bottom taking in the house's interior much as she had the outside for several minutes before she finally followed on up the stairs.

"How come you're here?" she asked the red-head as they walked across the landing to the bedroom that would be Buffy's for the Summer, "I mean, you're not British"

Usually she was not the type to initiate such conversations with anyone, especially not other girls and certainly not when she was sober, but it seemed weird that in such a traditional British setting there was some flame haired fellow American.

"I work here" Willow told her latest acquaintance, "with my Mom, and my brother, Xander. We emigrated three years ago"

"Cool" Buffy answered absently as she followed on into the huge bedroom that was to be her own. It was bigger than her room back home, bigger than any room she'd ever had, but totally not her taste. All floral patterns and old-fashioned furniture - she'd have to fix that later.

"I'll come let you know when Mr Giles gets back if you want" she heard Willow say from the door, "If you need anything, the phone is right there" she gestured to a table before disappearing. Buffy glanced at the aforementioned phone with a card next to it with a list of extension numbers to pretty much every room in the house.

"So, this is how the other half live, huh?" she said to herself as she took a run at the bed and landed amongst the pillows with a satisfying thump, paying no mind to what the employees on the floor below might think about the noise.

For half an hour she lay there, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what she'd left behind and what her time here in England might be like. She only moved again when her thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing into life. She reached across to pick up the receiver and found Willow was on the other end of the line, informing her that Giles had been contacted and sent his sincerest apologies for the mix up. He was now on his way home but expected to be a couple of hours at least.

Buffy decided the best plan for today would be to explore the house before her God-father returned and told her not to. Not that being told not to do something did anything but make her want to all the more, but it was simpler just to start her exploration of her surroundings now, since there didn't seem to be much else to do.

Grabbing her Walkman from her bag she clipped it to the belt of her short black skirt, and slipped off her jacket to reveal a low cut red top with 100 PercentBitch written across the front in silver graffiti style lettering. She shoved her headphones on her head, jacked the volume of her music to the max and headed out of the bedroom door.

She had no idea where she was going so she just started walking down the corridor, though it was not so much walking as a cross between it and dancing to the rhythm of the music that pounded in her ears.

As no one was looking when she reached the staircase, she couldn't resist siting herself on the top of the banister and sliding a fair distance down. The trouble was when she slid off the bottom her legs didn't hold her weight correctly and she pitched forward - straight into a pair of male arms.

Buffy laughed as she righted herself and pulled her headphones from her ears.

"Nice catch" she commented as she glanced up at her saviour, expecting it to be Wes or just some random servant-type guy. She got the surprise of her life when slightly familiar bright blue eyes met hers, "Hey, look who it is?" she shook her head as she took in the rest of the man's figure. Geek seemed to be an understatement given his appearance, but his accent was far from disagreeable when he spoke, and the scar that ran through his left eyebrow was intriguing too...

"Good heavens, I saw you earlier, on the back of a motorbike" he realised, almost blushing all over again when he added, "You winked at me"

"What are you doing in my God-father's house?" Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, a little thrown by the situation.

"You're Buffy Summers?" he said eyes going wide as dinner-plates as they roamed her body. She was hardly what he'd been expecting, and he was quite certain she was not what Giles was expecting either.

"You know my name but I don't know yours" said the girl, absently striking a pose against the banisters as the mystery man looked her over for a second time, but then she was sort of dressed to grab attention.

"Er, my name is William Rayne" he said politely offering her his hand which she shook, though she was trying not to laugh, "I'm Rupert Giles' nephew" he added, before she had a chance to ask.

"Interesting" was Buffy's only comment as she turned to walk away, pulling her headphones from her neck and moving to put them back over her ears.

"Um, where are you going?" William called behind her. She was not what he was expecting but from what he had seen of her (and in that outfit one could see quite a bit) he thought he was going to like her, she was different to any other girl he'd ever met, that much was obvious from just five minutes of meeting.

"I dunno" Buffy shrugged as she placed the headphones on her ears but not turning the music on yet, "You know anything fun I can do in this place?" she asked him, doubting he would.

"Depends what your idea of fun is" came his innocent reply.

Buffy's only answer was to smile at the comment in a decidedly suggestive manner before dancing off down the corridor and out of sight.

William had thought his annual Summer visit to Giles House would be just the same as any other. When he was told his Uncles God-daughter was to be there too he had assumed the same as everyone else. Some typical Californian type all full of talk about fashion and love of the beach, who would be even less interested in him than the girls he currently knew. The only female that really paid him any attettion was his sister, Drusilla, and even she was not consistent in her affection for his company, though it wasn't her fault...

Though William was sure he stood no chance of meaning anything to the girl he had just met a part of him really wished it would turn out differently. She could be the excitement he'd been looking for in his life, the one person who would help him to 'come out of his shell' as you might say. He smiled as he climbed the stairs to his room, happy to be away from home for a while, and thrilled to know he had three months to get to know Buffy Summers better.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : I know Buffy isn't totally like the show, but this is AU and I'm using her attitude from 'When She Was Bad' and also SMG as Faith-in-Buffy in 'Who Are You?' as inspiration. Please let me know if you like this by reviewing and telling me. I think this story is going to go on for some time but there will be lots of twists and turns involved in a mega Spuffy storyline - at least that's the plan! More coming soon!


	2. The Girl

A/N : Woah, seems this fic is popular, and I'm really glad about that since I have huge plans for it and I really want to write it right now...there could be another chapter v. soon actually, in which case I may break my general updating order a little and post the third chapter of this next, we'll see what happens. Thanx so much to the reviewers of the first chapter;Moonjava, Daniel Wesley Rydell, demonica mills, sPIKEaNDmE, spikegothicchick, LiLi, Michelle, Dark Avenger, Lindsay, BiWiccanPrincess, pltnmdancer, Brunettepet, Moluvsnumber17, Freezyboncoolipants, Buffy Summmers, Ember, lil-leti, and WannaPlayKevinBacon . You have given me so much more confidence in this story. I hope you continue to like this fic and that it does not disappoint as it goes on. As I'm sure will become evident as we go along, William is looking kinda like he did in the BtVS and AtS flashbacks to 1880, etc. but later he might just turn into Spike...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 2 - The Girl

"Oh Willow, my dear, thankyou so much" Giles smiled to the young girl as she waited inside the front door to help him with his coat and umbrella. The black clouds that had threatened a downpour all morning were finally delivering and even getting from the car to the door had meant Rupert Giles ended up looking half-drowned.

"Your nephew, Mr Rayne, arrived shortly after Miss Summers" Willow informed him, "My mother was going to call you again but we thought it was best not to when you were concentrating on driving"

"Yes, yes, very sensible" he nodded as he headed for the stairs, "Erm, I shall change and then find him in his usual room I expect" he said as he went up and Willow went to continue with her chores around the house.

Giles made his way to his own bedroom and changed from one plain and smart suit into another that was seemingly identical. His wardrobe was as varied as his life and that meant very little, but he was a fan of regularity and order, and had no wish to change any time soon.

Minutes later he was strolling down the corridor to find his nephew who he was pleased to say was very like him The boy was nothing like his father, and for that the world should be eternally grateful. One Ethan Rayne was quite enough for anyone to deal with, and it was a definite blessing that William had been influenced more by his uncle than anyone else.

Giles tapped on the door to the room that was always his nephew's quarters, even when he was back at home. The boy was quick to answer with a bright smile on his face and a warm handshake for his favourite uncle.

"How are you, Uncle Giles?" he asked and the older man rolled his eyes.

"I am quite well William, but I am certain that the last time you were here we quite decided you should stop calling me uncle" Giles reminded him, "You are nineteen years old, a man in your own right now. You are quite qualified to call me simply Giles as everyone else does"

"I am sorry" William shook his head removing his glasses that he'd been wearing to read a book before, "I'm afraid I forgot"

"How is your sister?" Giles asked next and the look on his nephews face told him the answer was not as good as it might have been. Glossing over the subject, he put a hand breifly on the boys shoulder "Well, we shall have to catch up later William" he told him, "I am sorry to cut our conversation short but I think I should greet my other guest. You do remember I mentioned that my God-daughter Buffy was coming to stay, don't you?"

"Indeed" the younger man grinned in spite of himself, "I do believe I've already met her...tell me Giles, how long is it since you last saw the girl?"

"Oh, well" Giles removed his own spectacles and cleaned them thoughtfully on his handkerchief, "She was just a little girl when I left America, perhaps four or five, and then I received pictures from dear Joyce and Hank each year until they passed away, she was just nine then I believe, poor child"

William felt horribly bad for the girl when he was reminded of her past. Was it any wonder she was a little wild now, given all she'd been through? To lose both ones parents at such an age must have been almost unbearable for her. He could sympathise to a degree, he had no mother himself though in some ways he was better off. His Mum had died when he was just a year old and so he never really knew her. It was impossible to miss what you have never truly had and at least he still had a father, if Ethan could be called that.

"...have any idea where I might find her?"

William zoned back into the conversation, catching the end of his uncles question, which he guessed correctly was referring to Buffy.

"Oh, I saw her earlier, listening to some music and er, dancing in the corridor downstairs" he said trying not to smile at the strange expression on Giles face.

"Dancing in the corridors?" he echoed as he moved in the direction of the main staircase again, "I shall see you later William, when I have located Buffy" he called over his shoulder, before mumbling to himself, "Where on Earth could the girl be?"

* * *

"I want you to want me...I need you to need me...I love you to love me...and I'm begging you to beg me..." Buffy sang along to Letters To Cleo cover of I Want You To Want Me as she danced her way down another corridor, her eyes closed most of the time, completely ignoring the world around her, until she ploughed right into part of it. The door was slightly ajar and when she bumped into it she fell right into a room, only just managing to stay on her feet as she saw a surprised young man in front of her.

"Er, hi" he said nervously as his eyes travelled from her feet up to her face, stopping at a few choice areas on the way, "Can I have you? I mean, help you, can I help you?"

"Do I look like someone who needs help?" she snapped, clearly taking what he said completely the wrong way, as she turned off the Walkman for a while and left her headphones around her neck.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean..." the boy started to ramble before taking a breath and starting again, "I'm Xander Harris, I work here" he told her, "and you are?"

"Who do you want me to be?" she asked with a dangerous smile and Xander laughed nervously.

"Um, how about you just tell me your name before I take something you take the wrong way and end up with the heel of your boot somewhere painful" he said and it was Buffy's turn to laugh. She didn't do that often, unless she was drunk or someone she didn't like was in pain, or both of the above. Still, this guy amused her and he was honest and straight forward so far, she didn't feel like playing this time.

"Buffy Summers" she told him, "and you're that girl I met's brother, right?" she frowned thinking that Xander sounded familiar.

"If you mean Willow, then yeah, that'd be me" he nodded, "but if you're Buffy Summers, as in God-daughter to Giles, why are you down here? This is where us lower beings live, y'know like servant type people"

"To be honest I don't know where I am" she shrugged, "Kinda slave to the rhythm, know what I mean" she gestured towards her Walkman but Xander shook his head.

"Not so much a rhythm slave" he told her, "but hey, I could help you find your way back to the land of the rich people. Giles should be home by now and he's probably looking for you"

"Guess I should make the effort" Buffy sighed, knowing she wouldn't ordinarily bother but then she spent enough time complaining that her Aunt and Uncle didn't pay her any attention, it made little sense to protest about a guy who actually wanted to spend time with her.

She walked with Xander back the way she'd come, up a couple of flights of stairs she'd almost forgotten she'd come down until they arrived back in the main foyer again.

"Now this looks familiar" Buffy nodded, "but how the hell do you keep track of everyone in this place. It's almost big enough to qualify as it's own city!" she pointed out, causing Xander to chuckle.

"You kinda get used to it" he assured her, "and I don't think Giles would've gone far..."

"Indeed" said a voice behind him, "in fact I am right here" the older man said as Xander turned around, and Buffy did the same, "Thankyou for finding my God-daughter for me, Xander"

"You're welcome, sir" the boy smiled, heading back down where he'd come from. Buffy watched him go before her attention returned to Giles and she managed half a smile. He looked almost exactly like the guy she'd met earlier, William, only clearly older and without the interesting scar or potential for hotness.

"Hey" she said uncertainly, wondering why he was looking at her like she had two heads. She looked down at herself, wandering what his deal was, but she found just her black boots, fishnet stockings and black skirt just as they should be.

"Hello, Buffy. I'm Mr Giles" he told her with a shake of his head to stop himself from staring, "You can call me Giles though, most people do"

"Okay, Giles" she nodded, "er, thanks for inviting me here, the house is cool" she tried to sound grateful without overdoing it but he was still staring at her in that weird way.

"I'm terribly sorry" he said suddenly, it seemed he'd just noticed he was doing it, "You just, well, you're a little to different to what I remember...but then it has been several years" he laughed slightly at how stupid he'd been to assume that between the ages of nine and seventeen the girl could not have changed all that much. He'd expected her to be taller and slightly more of a woman naturally, but he'd also assumed she'd be a similar type of person, with pretty pastel coloured clothes and neatly brushed hair. The harsh expression, black and red attire, and slightly wild hair was all quite a shock.

"I don't remember you at all" Buffy told him, perhaps a little too harshly, but she got the distinct impression he didn't like what he saw when he looked at her, and immediately went on the defensive.

"Well, you were very young when we last met" Giles conceded, as they still stood several feet apart in the foyer. It would be a little inappropriate for them to hug, and it seemed to formal to shake hands so instead they stood with the distance between them, eyeing each other warily.

"You've met my nephew, William, I hear" Giles tried desperately to make conversation, hoping things would get more comfortable any moment now. If they were to spend three months in the same house together, they had to find some common ground between them.

"Yeah, he seems...okay" came her reply, complete with a fairly uninterested shrug, "I er, I've been looking around, and I met Willow and Xander"

"Oh yes, we do have an American family living hear, Mrs Harris is my housekeeper" he smiled, "her husband unfortunately passed away and her family had already moved to the UK so she followed with the children. Willow is a year younger than you, I believe, and Xander a year or two older"

Buffy nodded along with what he was saying but she was fairly bored and kind of uncomfortable still. She figured it'd take a while for her, Giles, and William, to all get used to each other, if they ever did at all. There was only twelve weeks after all, and Buffy knew she wasn't the easiest person in the world to get along with - she made being difficult her art.

"Well, er, I do believe dinner will be ready in less than an hour, and I do have some business to attend to" Giles smiled, "I shall see you later then"

"Sure, whatever" Buffy shrugged, completely at ease with being left alone to her own devices. It'd been that way for the past eight years of her life - why would things change now, just because she was in England?

* * *

William stood in his room, looking out at the scenery beyond the window. Grey clouds had broken and rain was pouring down as it often did in this country. The view was hills, trees and fields, so far from building after building that dominated the view from the windows of his home in London. Cars, filth, and general bustle, were replaced by peace, serenity and calm for the duration of his Summer spent at Giles House.

Of course, it wouldn't do for things to be too quiet, not when Buffy Summers was around. William had the feeling the calm of the country would be of no use to the girl with the black knee high boots and angry-girl music. This he completely believed until a figure came into his view. Now without her shoes or her Walkman present, the girl he'd met just a couple of hours ago, thundered past the house at an alarming speed, yelling at the lightening filled sky to give her it's best shot.

"Is she completely crazy!" William asked himself as he watched her with astonished eyes. She stopped running directly under his window as she looked up and noticed him watching her. She smiled as she pushed her soaked hair off her face and blew him a kiss a dangerous twinkle in her eyes that he swore he could see even from that distance, before she ran off again.

"Crazy? Perhaps" William smiled as he strained his eyes to see her retreating figure disappear, "Extraordinary, intriguing, and someone I want to know better? Definitely"

To Be Continued...


	3. The Dinner

A/N : As I mentioned before, my little rota for how I update my fics is kinda going out the window this week since I seemed to be inspired to write things in the wrong order, I'm sorry if this bothers anyone. Thanx so much for the support on this fic, specifically Moonjava, Daniel Wesley Rydell, LiLi, pltnmdancer, Freezyboncoolipants, Brunettepet, funkydevil206, greyicewater, Cay4Spuffy, and xmadbrilliant, for the latest reviews. I'm so into writing this story right now, so I hope you like this new chapter...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 3 - The Dinner

It was ten minutes past dinner time and no-one could find Buffy. Giles and William had naturally arrived in the dining room on time and waited for the girl, glancing at their watches every minute or so, the older man polishing the lenses of his glasses for something else to do. Several of the staff had been sent to look for her, but since she was neither in her room nor at the dinner table, and the house was so huge, it was difficult to know where to begin.

At length she arrived in the doorway and Giles smiled, standing up to greet her as his nephew did the same.

"Ah, Buffy, there you are" he said as she came into the room.

"Yep, here I am" she shrugged, as she entered, now wearing tight black pants and a low cut black top that left little to the imagination. William suspected he was one of few people who knew why she'd needed to change her clothes, or why her hair was newly blow-dried, "What are you looking at?" she asked him, almost nastily as he realised he was staring. Though a large part of him knew he should not have expected a properly dressed lady to arrive at the dinner table, he hadn't really expected this either.

"Oh, nothing, really" he looked away fast when he was reminded that he was staring "You, er, you look very...nice" he opted for eventually, wondering if she'd take that as a compliment or an insult. How did one speak to such a person at this? He'd never met anyone like her.

"Not exactly what I was going for but okay" she smiled in amused fashion as Giles pulled out her chair for her to sit down. She noticed he was trying not to stare too, as were a couple of butler-type guys to the side, "What? You expected me all dressed up for dinner?" she asked with a look of disbelief, "I don't think so" she scoffed as she made herself comfortable on the seat. She didn't exactly sit like a lady either.

"That's quite alright, Buffy, you look just fine as you are" Giles managed a small smile, though he was completey thrown by the girls looks and behaviour these days, "Indeed, I believe it has become somewhat of a habit for William and myself to dress smartly for a meal..." he rambled a little, feeling quite strange sitting between these two young people who had a habit of looking at each other strangely, "You two have met I understand"

"Yeah, we kinda...bumped into each other" Buffy admitted with a half-smile, remembering her little trip on the stairs.

"Indeed we did" William nodded, also recalling it with a smile. It wasn't often he got the chance to have a female in his arms, in fact, not counting the brotherly hugs he gave his sister, he didn't ever.

"So, er, Buffy" Giles was desperate to make some kind of conversation, "How were you Aunt and Uncle when you left? They were well I hope?" he asked her as she picked at the black nail polish on her fingers.

"I guess" she shrugged, "We don't really spend much time together"

"Ah yes, I suppose he is rather busy being Mayor" the Englishman nodded, starting to understand a little as to why Buffy had turned out the way she had. With her parents gone and her Aunt and Uncle not willing to give her the time of day, was it any wonder she become a little wild over the years? "How about your cousin? It's Faith, isn't it?" he tried to show an interest but the girl was not forthcoming, and barely glanced up from her hands when she answered.

"She's...Faith" she told him, "You can't say much more than that"

Giles closed his eyes and sighed quietly, removing his glasses and wiping the lenses. William's eyes seemed to fixed on Buffy, whilst hers were permanently down at her nails as tiny pieces of black polish got flicked over the table and floor. Giles was just too nice to ask her to stop it, and to be honest a little afraid of causing an argument.

The silence was broken by Willow and another girl bringing in the food. Since it was just the three of them it was just a main course and dessert today. For dinner parties when the long table was full to capacity and there could be anything from three to six or seven courses, more people serving and all dressed impeccably smart for the occasion, still Giles suspected Buffy wouldn't have cared that she looked so out of place.

The look on her face when Willow put the plate down in front of her today was enough to let the red-head know she was not impressed, though the serving girl knew for a fact it cost a fortune.

After ten minutes of watching her push the food around the plate and not eating it at all, Giles shared a look with William and decided to say something.

"You're not eating, Buffy?" he asked as casually as he could, careful not to sound accusing in any way.

"I have this policy about not eating things I can't identify" she said smartly, dropping her fork down with a clatter, and sitting back in her chair looking both annoyed and bored. William wondered absently if she really was feeling those two things or if she just liked people to believe she was so that they paid her some attention.

"Oh, er, well..." Giles wasn't sure what to say to his God-daughter and it was clear his nephew wasn't going to wade into any kind of conversation with her.

"It's okay" the girl sighed, "I'm not hungry anyway" she promptly went back to peeling the polish from her fingernails, glancing up every so often to see if William was still staring at her.

She kind of liked that he wanted to look at her. It wasn't as if she wasn't used to being wanted by guys, there were few in Sunnydale who hadn't tried to make a move on her, or would've done if they had the guts. She figured William was likely to be in the second group, just wouldn't have the backbone to take her on, but then if after a couple of weeks in this place she got bored, maybe she'd make the first move and teach him a few things she was pretty sure he didn't know about girls.

It was on one of the occasions when she was glancing up and yes, he was still staring at her, when she caught sight of something over his shoulder and her face hardened. William wondered at first if it was his looking at her that had made her so angry but when she promptly got up from the table and stalked past him be figured perhaps not.

"Is everything alright, Buffy?" Giles asked with a slight frown as she stormed past him and beyond the table to the old fashioned fireplace.

"No" she said flatly, grabbing a framed photo from the mantle.

"Ah, yes" the older man nodded, realising what she'd spotted, "William, the people in that photograph behind you are Joyce and Hank" he explained to his bemused nephew, "Buffy's parents"

"My _dead_ parents" she emphasised, a cold look on her face that made William shudder. She looked ready to commit murder on anyone who dared look at her, not really the reaction one would expect from a girl when her deceased parents were mentioned.

"They were lovely people" Giles smiled at the memory of his two dear friends, clearly not noticing Buffy's expression, "You look uncannily like your mother you know, Buffy" he told her and she turned to him with anger evident in her eyes.

"Not because I want to" she spat, throwing the picture to the floor with a crash as the glass splintered and smashed into a hundred pieces. As Giles opened his mouth to speak, Buffy stormed out the door, almost barrelling into poor Willow who came in carrying a tray with three desserts on it.

"Someone should go after her" William said immediately, planning on going himself. Giles nodded as he stood up.

"Yes, I suppose so" he sighed, putting his napkin on the table and making to leave.

"Actually" his nephew said quickly, placing hand on his arm, "I thought perhaps, someone nearer her own age?"

Giles glanced over at him and sat back down with a nod of understanding.

"Ah yes, of course" he agreed, "Willow would you mind awfully?" he asked the red-head who almost threw a strawberry mousse in his lap from the surprise.

William closed his eyes and sighed. He'd wanted to be the one to go after Buffy, heaven knows what he would have said to her, but he would've loved the excuse to talk to her again, especially alone.

"Me!" Willow's mouth hung open with shock, "Erm, well I..."

"You are of her age, my dear" Giles almost pleaded with her, "and female obviously, and from her home country. I confess I don't really know where to begin with her" he explained with a shake of his head. Giles was not the sort of person who could order people to do things, even those who worked for him, but he did do a rather good line in pointed suggestion, William observed.

"But I don't even know her" Willow shook her head, really not wanting to face the angry blonde. People like her did not get along with people like Buffy. Willow was an ex-geek turned semi-cool middle of the road girl, whilst Buffy was, well, someone who she would like to avoid as much now as she did when similar people were around at High School.

"I don't exactly know her myself, truth be told" Giles explained, removing his glasses to polish the lenses on his handkerchief, "She was just five years old when I last saw her and she's changed so drastically from the sweet child she once was" he put a hand on Willows arm and gave her a hopeful smile, "It would mean a great deal if you could do this for me, Willow"

An incredible attack of guilt coursed through the girl as she considered all the great favours this man had done for her and her family, by employing them all and giving them a home when no-one else would. He wasn't asking much of her, just wanted her to talk to his God-daughter and check she was okay.

"Okay, Giles. I'll go" she nodded, managing a half-smile as she headed for the door.

Working on the assumption that Buffy would probably run to her room, Willow went there first. When she arrived outside the door she heard movement inside so she knocked. After two minutes with no response, she tried again and opened the door herself when no reply came.

"Miss Summers?" she called awkwardly as she entered "Er, Buffy?"

"Leave me alone" said a voice in the dark and dingy room. The curtains at the two large windows were drawn at one and parted just slightly at the other, as Buffy sat on the large sill looking out between the gap at the cloudy sky and rain as all the light disappeared from the world for another day.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay" Willow ventured a little further towards the sillouhette in the window, not daring to suggest turning on a light or anything for fear of getting her head bitten off.

"Like you care if I'm okay" Buffy scoffed, still not looking at her visitor, "You don't even know me"

"Mr Giles knows you" Willow reminded her, before realising he just told her to the contrary, "well, he did, and..."

"He doesn't care either" the blonde interrupted sharply, "Nobody does"

"That can't be true" Willow shook her head. There was such anger and bitterness in the other girls voice, a girl who was just a few months older than she was. Life should be so full of fun and possibilities for people their age, but it seemed Buffy didn't feel that way.

"Don't get me wrong" she said, turning at last to look at Willow who stood stuck to the spot as he was addressed, "it's not like I'm bothered. I just don't see why I should sit down there and pretend like I belong" she explained, "Truth is I don't belong anywhere" she turned back to the window then and Willow rolled her eyes in the dark.

"You think I feel like I belong here?" she said, walking over to stand beside the other girl, "I'm not a high class British person like Giles and his friends either, but I like it here now...I got used to it" she told her. Buffy laughed then but it was little improvement on her previous state since there was no humour present at all.

"This is so not me" she shook her head, getting up from her seat and walking into the centre of the room, "this room, this stuff..." she ran a hand along the wall and around a couple of paperweights on a cabinet beside it.

"I'm sure Giles wouldn't mind if you changed a few things..." Willow told her, just able to make out an interested look appear on Buffy's face, followed by a dangerous kind of a smirk as she reached for the edge of the old-fashioned wallpaper and tore a great strip away, "Maybe you could ask first" the other girl said quickly, panicking as Buffy reached for the edge of the paper to pull some more off.

"If it bothers you" she said smartly as she prised the edge of the paper away from the wall and tore at a huge strip, "you ask"

Willow watched with wide eyes as Buffy made her way along the wall, ripping large amounts of wallpaper away as she went. The red-head backed up towards the door.

"I should probably just go" she mumbled.

"Don't let the door hit you on your way out" Buffy called over her shoulder and Willow paused in the doorway, not just astonished but a little affronted by Buffy's attitude.

"Despite what you think" she told her, "Giles is a nice man and he does wants to help you out"

Buffy spun around, leaving the wallpaper alone for a moment as her eyes flashed angrily in the dark.

"I don't need anyone's help" she said haughtily, "Not yours, not Giles, no-ones. Okay?"

"Okay" Willow nodded more sad to see a person behave that way than truly scared of her temper anymore.

As the younger girl disappeared out of the door and down the stairs, Buffy tore more paper from the room, ripping at it with abandon until an entire wall was practically bare. She stood back then and looked at the mess she'd made. In the dark silent room, she sank to her knees, and cried.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : A little insight into the pain behind Buffy's wild behaviour. We'll get to the further Buffy/William interaction soon and of course there will be an eventual William-to-Spike transformation but it's gonna take a little time. Reviews would be very good in the in between time, thanks :-)


	4. The Exchange

A/N : Thanx so much to Spikez-babe91, Brunettepet, LiLi, funkydevil206, XspikeXbuffyX, Freezyboncoolipants, BuffyandDracoLover, Spikesgirl2626, and Moluvsnumber17 for all the great reviews. I'm loving writing this fic and I'm so glad you're all enjoying reading it :-)  
_(For disclaimer,etc. see chapter 1)_

Chapter 4 - The Exchange

For three days no-one at the Giles mansion really saw Buffy as much of her time was spent in her room re-decorating. Willow had told her boss about the wallpaper, which had caused him to clean his glasses violently. He had eventually decided it might help if Buffy was left to her own devices. Perhaps changing the bedroom to her liking would help to make her feel more at home and calm her down somewhat. When the girl overheard a conversation between her God-father and a servant in which he said just that, she had to stifle a snort of laughter so as not to be found out for listening in.

He really thought that underneath it all she was some good and sweet little girl? It was so clear that he didn't know her at all! Would he be saying that if he knew what she was doing in that room? Xander certainly didn't think so. He was one of the few people who had been graced with Buffy's company on several occasions. There was left over paint and fabric and such kept in a storeroom in the basement and he'd helped her find what she wanted for the room, after a little persuasion.

Buffy was heading back to her room from another trip to the basement, another pot of paint in her hand. She was actually enjoying herself, painting the ceilings and walls in shades of red and black, and re-hashing the bedclothes. What she lacked now was decent drapes. She wanted to carry on with her colour scheme and have them black, but unfortunately none were to be found amongst the supply of old linen and she'd used the dark fabrics she had found already on the bed and pillows.

It was now as she walked across the hall that she noticed the door to another of the bedrooms was open. Usually all the doors were locked, but now one just a little way from her own had been left ajar. Checking no-one was paying attention she walked over, putting the pot of paint down and pushing the door so it opened further.

The room was similar to hers in size and furnishings, but the curtains were drawn against the sun, keeping the whole space in almost complete darkness.

In the gloom, Buffy made out china dolls, sitting on a chest at the end of the bed, and a fancy dress with cream lace up on a hanger on the closet door. She headed for the windows and noticed the closed drapes were almost exactly what she wanted for her room. It wasn't like anyone would care if she just took them, she reasoned, and even if they did, what did she care?

Gripping on tight to the edge of the material she prepared to rip them down, a grin on her face. She physically jumped when a hand came out of the dark, fingers wrapping tightly round her wrist.

"Buffy" William's voice was shockingly cold and dangerous, "Do be specific and tell a fellow, exactly what you think you're doing?" he asked her as she made out his face in the dim light.

"Like it's your business!" she snapped, tearing her arm from his grasp, "What the hell are you doing in here? You nearly scared the crap out of me!" she complained.

"What am I doing in here?" he asked incredulously, "I think I should be asking you that"

"I need new drapes for my room, I like these" she shrugged, "What's it to you?"

William laughed painfully at that.

"You _need_ them" he echoed, "No. You _want_ them, and you think that makes it okay for you to have them" he said bitterly. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Enough with the psycho-babble" she told him, "Yeah, okay, you're right. I want, I take, I have" she said hand on her hips like a challenge, "You got a problem with that?"

She was a little taken aback when he got right up in her face. Where was the shy geek she'd met three days ago. 'Potential for hotness rising' she thought to herself.

"When you're talking about taking my sisters things, then yes, I do have a problem with that" he said seriously, turning away as soon as he'd finished speaking and walking over to the end of the bed. His fingers ran across the edge of the chest and the pale faced dolls that sat atop it, as Buffy looked on.

"Is she dead?" she asked bluntly and William looked over at her in apparent shock, "I mean, she's not here and you're being weird about her stuff"

"She's not dead" he told her sharply, looking back at the dolls in front of him, "but you're more right than you know when you say she's not here" he said sadly.

Buffy wasn't entirely sure she knew what he was talking about and didn't really feel like asking for an explanation. Something bad had obviously happened to his sister, whoever she was, and it was getting to him. Though usually she was quite happy to plunge in and ask all the inappropriately cutting questions til she knew what she wanted to, when it came to William, something stopped her.

"Whatever" she shrugged, deciding it was best to just get out and leave this guy alone, "It's not like I care anyway" she said, making for the door.

"No, you really don't" he let out another humourless laugh and Buffy stopped two steps from the door. It was the way he said it that made her snap and she flung the door closed with a loud bang as she turned around to face him again.

"And what is that supposed to mean!" she demanded to know. William was quick to tell her.

"Giles agreed to let you come here because he wanted to help you, he wanted to get to know you and be your friend and you've thrown it back in his face" he told her, far more angrily than he would usually. If he wasn't being so annoying, Buffy couldn't help thinking she could quite like him when he was being this way.

"He doesn't care about me" she shot back "Nobody does"

"Only because you don't want them to" he argued, "Anyone tries to be nice to you, you bite their head off or run away. You don't know when you're well off"

"You don't know anything about me!" she almost screamed at him, "You don't know what it's like to be me!" with that she stormed out of the door, slamming through to her own room. William gave chase, blocking the exit to her room when she attempted to avoid the argument.

"I know what it's like to have no-one to care" he retaliated, "I know how hard it is to grow up without a mother, without a father too mostly" his volume and anger were decreasing now but he wasn't done yet, "I know what it's like to feel alone and unwanted, and if it weren't for Giles...well, you might not be the only one painting your room black and avoiding everybody"

The pair looked at each other with intense gazes. She was still processing what he'd been telling her, he was still wondering why he had and where all the anger had come from. Of course he knew why he'd exploded the way he had.

His sister, Drusilla, had taken another turn for the worse. Her mental state had been unbalanced ever since the accident that killed their dear mother and almost took the young Dru's life too. For years she was in and out of hospitals and institutions, experts visited their home as her father and brother tried to cope with her violent mood swings and bouts of illness. It was when she was fourteen that she'd finally been permanently admitted to a home that could better take care of her, Ethan didn't care enough to bother and William was just a child of barely twelve.

"If it weren't for Giles" Buffy echoed his words, much more calm than she'd been before "but the point is you did have him, I didn't"

"That's not his fault, or mine" William told her, eyes fixed on hers, "What happened to your parents was tragic but..."

"Don't tell me that wasn't anyone's fault either!" she was yelling again now, eyes flashing angrily, "Some guy was out there with a gun. He tried to take my mothers purse and when she fought he murdered her!" she told him, so much pain and anger in her eyes he didn't want to look but he couldn't tear himself away either, "and when he realised what he'd done, he couldn't leave a witness" she said more quietly, tears coming to her eyes that she desperately pushed back, "so he shot him too, and d'you wanna know the worst part? In less than six years he'll be back out on the streets, to wreck another little girls life, just like he wrecked mine" she said both bitter and angry as she turned her back on William.

He felt so desperately sorry for her. What had happened to his mother was also terrible but it was an accident at least and no-one's fault that she was dead or Drusilla was ill. He always thought it would have been easier to have someone to blame, but he saw now how wrong he was. Buffy was consumed by anger at the man who took her parents away from her when she was just a child. What she had become was all down to that one man, triggering a chain reaction of events that led to this person standing here in this moment, back turned on one other human being who was trying to understand.

"I can't say I know what you feel" William said softly as he stepped up behind her, "All I can say is that you're not as alone as you think you are. Giles wants to help you, and be there for you. I can't speak for anyone else but I know I want to know you better too...perhaps, given time, we could be friends" he tried, tentatively reaching out a hand to her shoulder. She spun round before his fingers made it to her skin and he yanked his arm back fast, trying to cover by running his hand through his hair.

"I don't have friends" she told him, an expression on her face that tried to be neutral but her eyes gave her away. She hated to be alone but all she'd really had for the past nine years was her own company, "I have my cousin, Faith, but even she doesn't want to talk to me..." she frowned slightly at the thought, her eyes moving away from his to a spot on the side wall.

Nobody ever really talked to her, nobody cared enough to try. She was so fast to jump down the throats of all who even looked at her, nobody tried to start a conversation. William was a surprise, she admitted to herself only, he'd got past her yelling and made her want to really talk about things, made her feel things about the past and the future, and all in one half-argument, half-conversation.

"Buffy" her name sounded different when he said it, sounded like it mattered, like she did, "I'm here if you want me to be...this Summer is going to be less than fun if we do nothing but fight" he half-smiled, so wanting to reach out to her, get her to look at him, talk to him.

"I guess I can deal with the not fighting" she said still not looking at him.

Screwing her eyes tight shut suddenly she breathed deeply a couple of times and when she opened her eyes again she was smiling, though it wasn't entirely genuine, William was sure.

"I need to get out of this place for a while" she announced, heading for the door. She opened it and then paused, turning back, "You wanna come with?" she asked a slightly stunned William, who nodded nevertheless.

"Where exactly are we going?" he asked her as they walked down the hallway together and Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"I dunno" she admitted, "Just out of this building for a while" she told him as she ran down the stairs and he followed at a slightly more sedate pace.

"Ah Buffy, so nice to see you my dear" Giles smiled warmly at her as she reached the foyer. He was slightly surprised when William followed her down, almost colliding with her back as she stopped so suddenly, "And William, er, are you and Buffy...?" he wasn't quite sure what to think, considering Buffy had been so anti-social with everybody and now here she was with his nephew in tow.

"We're just going out, Giles" the younger man told him and the blond in front of him smiled as they headed for the doors.

"Anywhere in particular?" Giles frowned worriedly as he removed his glasses and polished the lenses on his handkerchief. He doubted very much that this girl, however dear she and her parents once were to him, would be anything other than a bad influence on his nephew.

"We'll know when we get there" Buffy called over her shoulder as they went out and the doors thumped shut behind them.

Giles sighed and replaced his glasses, heading off to the drawing room.

"This will not end well" he surmised.

Outside, Buffy was loving the sensation of the warm sun on her skin after too many days of hiding away inside. Back home the sun was almost constant, she preferred the weather here. Though it was Summer there had been a couple of excessively rainy days already, yesterday she'd noted the clouds had been fewer and far between and now today the sun shone bright in the sky, lighting up the world in rainbow shades. The countryside was a welcome sight to both she and William, who rarely saw a landscape such as this. They walked for a while in surprisingly comfortable silence until Buffy spotted something in the distance and her eyes lit up.

She walked a little faster and William followed though he had no idea where she was headed. After a while he noticed they were getting closer to the lake that resided in the Giles House grounds and he wondered why it would interest Buffy.

"This is perfect" the young blonde smiled as they stood by the side of the water, the light bouncing off it, making every ripple look like sparkling diamonds on the surface.

"Er, perfect for what exactly?" William asked a little worried, "What exactly are we doing out here?"

"Well I dunno about you" Buffy grinned, kicking off her boots "but I'm going in the water" she told him, working the zipper of her pants and sliding them off too.

To Be Continued...


	5. The Water

A/N : This story just seems to flow out of me with little effort needed at all. Here's hoping the large quantity does not mean the quality goes down. So far you seem to be liking it and I wnat to thank all the reviewers of the previous chapter; Baby Girl Gellar-Green, Daniel Wesley Rydell, ness345, Moonjava, Demonica Mills, Cady Monroe, Freezyboncoolipants, funkydevil206, XspikeXbuffyX, Anyanka0705, Sugarsun, Brunettepet, spuffygrl11, chanel 5, Spikez-babe91, EMBER91, and Ape18. Here's hoping that you'll all keep reading and enjoying this.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 5 - The Water

William simply didn't know where to look as Buffy stripped off her pants and pulled her top over her head. He had very little experience with women and their lack of clothing, unless you counted Dru in her rather disturbing naked-loving phase. Of course it was simpler when his sister was involved, she was family, but now Buffy, a non-relation who he found very attractive was stripping off all her clothes right in front of him and even when he turned away like a gentleman should, his imagination went into over-drive causing his body to react in the expected manner.

"Buffy, I really don't think..." he began but she interrupted.

"For once in your life, William, stop thinking about it and just do it!" she told him and out of force of habit he turned to answer her, just in time to see the girl now dressed in nothing but black lace underwear, diving headlong into the lake.

He stared open mouthed unable to comprehend what was happening. Normal people did not strip off and jump in lakes, nobody he knew would ever...

"You just gonna stand there?" Buffy asked as she held herself steady in the water, just her head and shoulders showing now which William was grateful for. At least he could remain calm if he just kept the images of her mostly naked body from his mind.

When he gave no answer to her question Buffy shifted in the water so more of her body showed. She knew what kind of effect she must be having on him, though diving in the lake had not been purely an excuse to take her clothes off and turn him on, that was just an added bonus. She had the weirdest feeling that with a little persuasion William could be this incredible guy, and since she had nothing better to do this Summer, she intended to find the wild part of the geek and bring it to the surface.

"What's the matter?" she called to him, pushing her dripping hair back out of her face, "Can't you swim?"

"Of course I can" he answered her quickly, "but I...that is to say..." he mumbled, fingers fumbling without the edge of his other sleeve and eyes trained on his feet.

"You're not scared are you?" Buffy challenged him and William's eyes snapped up immediately, "I'd hate to think you were some kind of chicken" she continued seeing his reaction and liking it. She was far from the first to say these things to him, he'd been through it all before she was certain. She herself had taken her fair share of verbal abuse, being called a freak and a weirdo and a slut. William was teased and bullied for different reasons clearly, but treated appallingly none the less. It hurt him but she could tell it also made him angry, though he tried not to show it.

"I'm not afraid" he told her firmly, tilting his chin and Buffy smirked.

"Prove it" she told him smartly, a little surprised that it took just a moments hesitation before he began to remove his jacket and shoes. He spent quite a while fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, unable to identify whether it was his fear or excitement making him shake so much. Far from the confidence Buffy had, Will was certain that every visible part of his body was blushing as he unfastened his pants. He hesitated and Buffy felt bad for him suddenly.

"I won't look" she told him, turned herself around. She remained with her back to him just as long as she thought it would take him to be undressed, then quickly turned back wishing to survey the scene as it were.

Buffy gasped a little at the sight that met her eyes. Inside his clothes it was impossible to tell, but now standing there in nothing but his boxers and the light of the sun, William really was built kind of well. Far from being skinny and unattractive as a lot of geeks she'd seen before were, he was a pretty decent specimen of a man and the blonde swallowed hard as she watched him dive into the water a few feet from her.

She recovered quickly from her shock and swam over to him, still smiling at the pleasant discoveries she was making about this guy. Immediately William became uncomfortable again, knowing that beneath the water his body was mere inches from hers.

"So William Rayne" she smirked, as he backed up against the rocks at once side of the water, "I don't scare you at all?"

He swallowed hard at her closeness and desperately tried to control southern regions of his body that refused to comply.

"Of course not" he lied.

Buffy smiled, trying not to laugh at how difficult he was finding it all. She didn't scare him in a bad way she could tell, but it bothered him having her so close. She correctly guessed that he'd probably never behaved this way in his life, and definitely not with a woman. She looked at him then as if to study him and he flinched slightly when she reached out a hand to him.

"Your hair looks better like this" she told him, forcing a few stray pieces back like the rest. The water had flattened out his curls and Buffy liked how cool he looked with his hair all pushed back off his face. William had his eyes closed, finding that her fingers in his hair were really not helping his situation in the slightest. He wondered if she knew how she was thrilling him and making him suffer at the same time.

"I'll bet you'd look good as a blond too" he heard her laugh slightly and felt her hands go away so he opened his eyes in time to see her swimming away, "Well, come on" she urged him and he followed her across the lake into the more sunny half.

* * *

"Xander?" Giles called as he caught sight of someone walking passed the door of his study.

"Yes, sir?" the boy replied, hovering by the entrance to the room, frowning a little when he realised his employer was staring out of the window but also waving him over to join him.

"I do believe we have intruders" the older man told Xander, pointing down towards the lake where two figures could be seen, slightly hidden by the trees from this angle.

"You want me to call the police?" the brunette asked, squinting his eyes and trying to focus on the people in the water.

"Oh good Lord" Giles suddenly gasped as a male and female came across the water into the sunnier and more visible part of the lake, "That's William and Buffy!" he said, absolutely stunned.

Xander's expression was very similar as he considered the implications of what his boss had just said. On closer inspection he could see that he was right, but what on Earth had possessed quiet, kinda geeky, Giles-clone, William to go diving into the lake? He assumed the only reason could be his bathing companion.

"This is just..I cannot believe that..." Giles was so flustered he removed his glasses and gave them a good polish as he turned away from the window. Xander didn't know what to say for the best and was having a hard time pulling his gaze from the stunning figure of Buffy Summers as she played around in the water.

"This is simply not acceptable" Giles said at last, heading for the door in a hurry as he replaced his spectacles on his nose, "I will not allow that boy to turn into his father" Xander heard him mumble as he disappeared from sight.

* * *

"Y'know I've been meaning to ask" Buffy smiled, pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the lake when she tired of swimming. William fought all kinds of inappropriate reactions to her appearance and pulled himself up on the edge beside her, "How did a guy like you, all prim and proper, end up with this?" she asked him, reaching out to run two fingers across the scar that split his left eyebrow.

William shied away from her touch, looking out across the water instead of at her. He'd been avoiding letting his eyes rest on any area below her neck as it was but after that question he couldn't bear to meet her eyes either.

"It was nothing" he lied, and Buffy frowned as he got to his feet and began putting his clothes back on, despite the fact he was soaking wet and probably ruining his shirt and pants by doing so.

As Buffy watched, open-mouthed, William picked up the remainder of his things and headed back towards the house without her, stopping only briefly as he passed by her, mumbling some kind of thanks for the swim.

Angry and upset at being denied an answer and being walked out on when she was just starting to have fun, Buffy threw herself back into the water, holding her breath as she held herself under for as long as she could. When her natural survival instincts made her come back to the surface and breathe she found an angry face staring down at her.

"Buffy Summers, what on Earth do you think you're doing!" Giles demanded to know, "Are you out of your senses!"

"Do you care?" she replied as she moved over to the side and pulled herself out right by her clothes. Giles looked away as she pulled them on and appeared at his side a moment later, dripping all over the place.

"Buffy, I do not understand you at all" he said tiredly, "You shout and yell at the slightest thing on your first day here, spend the following three locked in your room and now you're risking life and limb diving into filthy water, whilst encouraging my dear nephew to do the same" he complained.

"I never asked to come here" she said somewhat angrily, "I never asked for any of this"

"Given the choice what would you ask for?" he asked the girl, wishing she would just give him something to work with, an idea of how he could communicate with her, "If you do not wish to be here, where is it you want to be?"

The kindness in his eyes balanced the slight anger in his voice, to the point where the nicer emotion outweighed his annoyance. Buffy surprised herself with her admission.

"I want to be in LA" she shrugged as she turned to walk back to the house, "With my Mom and Dad"

* * *

William headed straight for the en suite bathroom to his bedroom to wash away the dirty lake water that covered him, as well as a few memories Buffy had brought to the surface. Of course it was far less easy to rid his mind of those but he had to try. The scars he bore on the inside from years of bullying and teasing, those he might have been able to talk of, those had mostly healed. No matter how much the line that marred his face healed, it would always be he most painful scar he possessed and one he never spoke of to anyone, he thought as he stepped out of the shower and studied said scar in the mirror.

The frown he wore turned into a half-smile as he pushed his hair back off his face as Buffy had. She thought he looked better with it like that. Maybe he should buy some gel and try something different, it was time for a change...

A knock on the bedroom door startled him slightly and he called through to ask who was there.

"The crazy girl that dives in lakes" came the reply and he almost laughed at that. Buffy really hadn't meant to upset him, he was sure. There was no way she could know what she was really asking him.

"Just a minute" he called as he grabbed the outfit he'd selected and pulled it on. The only pair of jeans he owned now covered his legs and a dark blue shirt complimented the brightness of his eyes. Subconsciously he was dressing for Buffy but he told himself he just felt like a change for himself.

With a deep breath, William opened the door and found the little blonde girl on the other side, also now in fresh clothes and clean hair though she hadn't bothered to dry it much it seemed.

"Hey" she tried to sound nonchalant but inside she knew she'd come here to see if he was okay and maybe even apologise if he really was upset, "I was, er...y'know" she shrugged, feeling decidedly uncomfortable. She didn't do words like sorry. She wasn't the caring and sharing type, but some unseen force drew her to this guy called William Rayne and whilst it kind of scared her, she liked it too.

"Do you, erm" William shifted awkwardly, glancing at his feet and back "Do you want to come in?" he found himself asking, though he knew he must be unhinged.

Buffy only nodded, slightly surprised at his offer as he moved and opened the door wider and she came inside.

As he closed the door, William realised something rather frightening. Despite the promise he made to himself just moments ago in the bathroom, that he would never be convinced to tell anyone the story from his past that brought so much pain, he had the strangest feeling that before the afternoon was out that Buffy would know every detail...

To Be Continued...


	6. The Confessional

A/N : Thanx muchly to the latest reviewers; Moonjava, Daniel Wesley Rydell, Demonica Mills, Spuffy6, EMBER91, funkydevil206, spuffygurl11, XspikeXbuffyX, Brunettepet, phantomphan85, Moluvsnumber17, wicked-angel-413, xmadbrilliant, Freezyboncoolipants, Spikez-babe91, and spuffygrl. I love writing this fic and am so pleased that you all seem to like reading it so much.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 6 - The Confessional

"Nice room" Buffy commented as she sat herself down on the edge of William's bed. What she'd just said was an out and out lie but she was at a loss for anything else to say right now, and everything she knew she should say seemed to get stuck somewhere in her throat.

"Is that why you're here?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow as he moved to sit down on the nearby chair, "To discuss the state of my decor?" he smiled slightly when she looked over at him, a sign he was trying to make a friendly joke. It broke the tension somewhat, a pleasant relief all round.

"I don't think Giles was too impressed with us" she said, returning his smile and indeed trying not to giggle by now, "Not that I did it to piss him off" she shrugged, "I just..." she paused not really knowing how to phrase it but feeling that maybe if she could, William of all people might understand. The fingers of her left hand spun a ring on the other and she studied that instead of the person she was speaking to. Somehow it was easier that way.

"You ever feel like you just want to escape?" she asked, "Like if you could just run fast enough or yell loud enough you could break out of this bubble that's life and there'd be something else, something better?"

William studied the figure of her sitting there. She was shorter than the average girl her age, but didn't seem at all weak. When she glanced up at him, presumably waiting for an answer to her questions, there was a depth in her eyes the like of which he'd never seen before and wish he hadn't then. Beyond the fire of youth and the anger of what she'd lost before, there was so much pain and a gaping chasm almost visible in her heart that he only wished he knew how to fill. He wanted to mend every part of her that had been broken by her past, and wished she could do the same for him. All this he thought and felt in just a few moments when their eyes met, and still she waited for his response.

"I do not presume there to be something better than this" he said more softly than he'd meant to as his eyes stayed fixed on hers, "I have yet to find it, and what good can there be living with false hopes?" he said somewhat sadly, his mind switching onto more serious topics than Buffy could imagine as he turned away from her gaze at last.

"If wishes were horses then beggars would ride" he heard her say and looked back at her when she smiled, "My Mom used to say that, when I was little"

"So did mine" William nodded, getting a faraway look in his eyes "at least Dru says she did, no way to know if it's true" he added quietly and Buffy so wanted to ask what he meant but was afraid of venturing further into the subject after what had happened before. Maybe the scar he had and his not knowing his mother were related?

"Who is Dru?" she asked carefully, "Is she your sister?" she realised it could be true as she recalled their argument before, in what was apparently his sisters bedroom.

"Yes, Drusilla is my sister" he confirmed, though he wouldn't look at her at all. He knew she was going to ask about Dru now, why she wasn't here, why her word could no longer be trusted, and he would have to answer her, there was no way to avoid it.

"Drusilla is twenty one now, a little more than two years my senior" he sighed, "and she's not here because...because she lives in an institution"

Buffy wasn't sure where to begin by way of a reply. His sister was a whack-job? Well that explained why he'd said she wasn't dead but she wasn't really here either. The girl probably didn't even know what day of the week it was half the time, and here Buffy was trying to steal her possessions, the few things William had in the house to remind him of the real person his sister was.

"Er...was she always...?" she began, stopping short when William looked up at her, clearly finding the whole thing difficult, possibly even fighting tears it was hard to tell at this distance and when he kept looking down.

"She wasn't born crazy if that's what you mean" he told her with a shake of his head, "There was an accident, seventeen years ago now. My mother lost control of the car and Dru suffered damage to her brain" he paused to swallow hard and wonder briefly why he was telling Buffy all this, he never spoke of it to anyone before, "They say she was lucky in some ways, at least she survived...my mother didn't"

The room fell silent, William's story of pain and loss hanging between himself and Buffy, making the air too thick to breathe. She thought she'd had it bad losing her parents so young, but she tended to forget other people shared her situation. Will had no-one to blame for what he'd lost, which could be better or worse, she wasn't entirely sure and she didn't want to ask his opinion. She truly had no idea what to say, which came as somewhat of a surprise to the girl that always had a smart-ass remark on hand for every occasion.

Not only had William been raised without a mother, but he'd had to cope with a sister that probably didn't know who he was half the time. She wondered if this same accident had caused the cut that left the scar on his face. Buffy stared at her companion, wishing he'd just look up at her, hopefully say something so she didn't have to, but he didn't.

After a silence that went on too long she took in a breath and got to her feet, moving to sit down on the arm of the chair beside him. He glanced over at her then and she dared to speak.

"Is that why you didn't wanna talk about this?" she asked, fingers reaching out to hover above his eye but not quite touching his skin, "This is the only injury you got but they..." she trailed off and William shook his head.

"I wasn't in the car with them" he told her, "This," he paused, running his own fingers along the mark, "Drusilla did this" he admitted so softly Buffy almost didn't hear him.

"How?" she asked, barely a whisper but she couldn't not have the whole story. It was as if she thought if she asked it softly enough it wouldn't be such a difficult question, that perhaps the answer wouldn't be so painful for him to say or her to hear.

"She didn't mean to hurt me, not really" William was quick to explain, as water built up behind his eyes and Buffy almost felt herself getting teary. Her hand subconsciously landed on his shoulder, a comforting gesture, as he explained.

"It was late at night, and I heard something in the kitchen. I would've woken my Dad but sometimes he got so angry at Dru, especially if he was drunk..." he closed his eyes, fought back those particular memories and continued, "I went down alone and she was standing by the counter. I called to her, asked her what she was doing up so late and she said she was making a sandwich. When I told her she should go back to bed, she started to get angry. She had this huge bread knife in her hand, I was worried she'd harm herself" he swallowed hard, voice cracking as he continued to stare at the carpet, "The look in her eyes when she turned was so wild...I tried to take the knife from her, I don't really know what happened, I had hold of her arm and she tried to get away, she slipped and...I didn't even realise what she'd done till I couldn't see anything but red on my left side" his fingers ran subconsciously over that part of his face as he spoke, "When she saw blood she cried and screamed, woke my father who came and yelled...I tried to tell him it wasn't Dru's fault but I think she'd really scared him that night. Within the week she was institutionalised and...and it was all my fault"

A lone tear ran down William's cheek at the end of his story and Buffy was somewhat shocked to realise a matching one ran down her own. This is what Will's guilt was for. He blamed himself for his sister being sent away, all because he'd allowed her to slash him with a kitchen knife. It wasn't as if he'd asked for it or provoked her, and he'd tried to defend her to their Dad. His father could take some blame she supposed, but really it couldn't be anyone's fault, just a nasty twist of fate that an accident should've caused such damage to Drusilla that she did not know her own mind. It was just unfortunate that William had approached her as he had that night and she'd freaked out that way.

"She's in a better place now though" Buffy said after a few moments silence, "They can take care of her better if..."

"A better place would be with her family!" William snapped uncharacteristically as he got to his feet and walked over to the window. Buffy physically jumped at the suddenness of his movements and increase in volume. She was so stunned she didn't even yell back at him, and when she realised she should put him in his place for bellowing at her like that he was already apologising.

"I'm sorry" he said solemnly as he turned back from the view and wiped his face with the back of his hand, "I just...I get so angry, Buffy" he told her, "I hate to think of what she's going through, how hard all this must be for her"

"It's why you yelled at me before, in that room" the blonde realised suddenly, also getting to her feet now, "But you can't blame yourself for what happened to her"

"You blame the whole world for what happened to your parents" he retaliated, feeling as if she were invading his privacy now despite the fact he'd invited her into his past as well as his room just moments ago.

"This isn't about me" Buffy shook her head, frowning as she wondered how this conversation had got so turned around.

"Sure about that" William snapped, "I thought in your world it was all about you"

His tone was a hairs breadth off being nasty, and Buffy was certain if he were less weak and vulnerable right now, if he were anything like the guys she knew back home, he'd be spitting venom and lashing out spectacularly right now. Something Buffy was learning fast was that William was not like any other guy she'd ever met.

"I'm just gonna go" she said, knowing if she stayed a fight of some kind was inevitable and she couldn't deal right now. Talking of his pain and loss only made her consider her own and Buffy refused to spill her guts just to make a trade. She made for the door but stopped half way to say one final thing.

"For what it's worth" she told his back as he faced the window once again, "I'm sorry about your sister, and your Mom"

With that she exited the room, closing the door firmly behind her. On the other side, she shut her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief to be out of that room, away from the intense situation she had found herself in. Two tears escaped from beneath her lids and a slight sob burst from her body before she managed to regain her composure. She headed down the corridor towards her own room but got just half way when she collided with Willow.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Summers, I mean, Buffy, er, hi" the red-head rambled before catching sight of the blonde's tear stained face, "Are you okay?" she checked.

"I'm fine!" Buffy snapped back, continuing walking, looking far from okay. Willow heard a crash from William's room and soon forgot the new girl as she hurried to see what was happening. She tapped on Will's door before letting herself in and finding him sitting on the bed quite calmly. The pieces of the broken vase under her shoes made Willow looked down and realise what had happened, but she didn't understand why.

"It seems to help Buffy" William answered her question before she'd even asked it, though he didn't turn to look at her at all, "The violence and wild behaviour without a care..." he trailed off, head down, and Willow thought possibly he was even crying.

In silence she stepped back out of the room and closed the door, thinking perhaps it was best to leave both him and Buffy alone right now. She wondered what had passed between the two of them in the last couple of hours.

The last she'd heard was when Giles stormed through the house yelling about William's father, Ethan, and the young man not being allowed to turn into such a wild fiend as he was. Xander had soon followed and relayed to his sister how William had been convinced by Buffy to dive in the lake.

How an uncharactarerically wild act such as this could've turned into a scene that caused violence and tears Willow could not understand at all, and for the time being at least, she felt it best not to ask.

To Be Continued...


	7. The Understanding

A/N : Big thanx to Moonjava, Spuffy6, Brunettepet, EMBER91, IsabelGuerin8888, demonica mills, XspikeXbuffyX, Daniel Wesley Rydell, funkydevil206, Ape18, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Spikezbabe91, BuffytheVampslayer, Moluvsnumber17, Freezyboncoolipants, and La Diosa, my latest fantabulous reviewers. Yeah so William is starting to show potential for turning Spike-ish, as many of you noticed, but we have quite a way to go yet...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)  
_

Chapter 7 - The Understanding

Giles was reading his newspaper at the table when William appeared. Breakfast was due to be ready in about five minutes and as usual both men were there promptly, though Giles was wondering if his nephew was feeling altogether well.

"I would say Good Morning, William, but you don't look as if you slept all that well" he commented, putting the newspaper aside. William sighed as he took his seat.

"I had things on my mind" he replied vaguely, "but I don't..." he stopped abruptly, surprised to see Buffy entering the dining room from the opposite door that he himself had come through. Giles looked equally stunned, but covered well and smiled at the girl.

"Ah, Buffy, so nice to have you join us, my dear" he told her as she walked towards the table. If they didn't know better William and his uncle would almost think she'd made an effort with her attire as her skirt came down to at least her knees and the top she wore covered far more flesh than any other they'd seen her in.

"It's no big" she shrugged when they stared at her, "I was just hungry is all" she told them as she took her seat and Willow arrived a moment later with serving dishes of bacon and eggs and other hot breakfast food.

"Er, are you quite happy to eat as we do Buffy?" Giles asked her, "Or is there something else you would prefer?"

"No, this is good" she half-smiled in the hope he might stop grinning at her and asking her things if she at least looked a little happy.

"Pass the salt" she asked William, adding 'please' all of a sudden despite the fact he'd already picked it up to hand to her. Giles almost choked when he heard her, wondering at how manners and semi-sensible clothing had landed on the girl over night. He wished he could ask but he daren't for fear of setting her off again as he had inadvertently done a few days ago.

Again he noticed how William seemed to have a problem keeping his eyes off the blonde across the table and Giles was truly starting to worry about what kind of relationship might be developing between his nephew and God-daughter. He loved them both, of course he did, but the girl was unruly at best and a nightmare at worse. William was terribly vulnerable and it would be all to easy for him to take a turn to the wilder side of life and become, to all intents and purposes, a carbon copy of his father, Ethan. Giles would hate to see that happen.

"Do you have plans for today, William?" he asked casually as possible, hoping against hope that anything the boy did have planned would not include Buffy.

"Not as such, no" the young man mumbled, pushing his food around the plate once more but not really attempting to put anything in his mouth, "Excuse me" he said suddenly, his knife and fork clattering as he set them down. He got up and left the table then, and Giles watched him go, a little stunned by his nephews behaviour.

Without a word Buffy also dumped her cutlery and hurried after William, leaving her God-father staring at the empty table before him.

"Hey" Buffy called as she saw William on his way up the stairs, "You okay?" she asked him. He stopped half way up and leaned over the banister to look at her.

"No" he said sadly with a shake of his head, and the girl was surprised by how bad she felt for him right now, "Would you..." he began, "I wondered...can we talk?" he finally spat out the question but Buffy couldn't seem to answer immediately.

Last night when they'd talked it was probably the first real conversation she'd had with anyone in years. He wanted to tell her things and when she talked he wanted to listen. She found she wanted, even needed to hear what he had to say too and the thought wouldn't leave her that it might be nice to have someone to share her secrets with, just for a little while, so long as she was here in this house.

She nodded slowly, following on up the stairs til she reached his side. He smiled slightly as they continued on up to the first floor and then the second, as he led her toward another staircase, Buffy looked back the way she'd come.

"Exactly where are we going for this talk?" she asked with a slight frown. It didn't bother her where they went but she was starting to wonder how high the building went and what they might find when they got to the top.

"Somewhere we won't be found" he smirked almost mischievously and Buffy felt like she might be a young child again, playing hide and seek. It was good to know she didn't have to keep up all her barriers with William. She wasn't quite ready to completely let him in, but he made her admit a lot of her cold behaviour was a screen to hide her pain. As pissed at him as she would like to be for this revelation, she found she was just kind of glad that someone paid her enough attention to notice.

"Wow" the gasp that escaped her throat surprised even her as William opened a door and she stepped through into what seemed to be part of the attic, though a large window let in much of the suns bright light preventing the space being dull and gloomy as the roof of a house should be. The wooden floor was polished so it reflected the light up into the room making it almost unbearably bright, but when Buffy glanced over and saw the view from the window, she realised it would be a beautiful way to be blinded.

"It's not much of a place" William shrugged, closing the door behind himself, "but it was my sanctuary if you will, when I was a child"

The final words of his sentence stuck in Buffy's head as she turned back to look at her new friend. He really did look like such a little boy right now, and kind of lost really.

"I thought this whole house was like sanctuary-ville for you?" she said with a thoughtful look.

"Now it is" he agreed, walking over to the window and looking out, "but only since my father decided to stay away from here"

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" Buffy asked, sitting down cross legged on a large rug that covered part of the floor. In the absence of proper furniture it looked fairly comfortable.

"Possibly..." William began to answer as he turned back to see her sitting there, eyes closed and hands on her knees as if she were meditating. Trying to ignore the fact that crossing her legs made her skirt ride up, he took in the sight of her sitting there, the daylight shining all around her making her look like a strange sort of modern day angel.

"Do I bore you so much, Buffy?" he smirked, as he came to sit in front of her in a similar position, "Have I put you to sleep already?"

"If I was bored you'd know" she smiled, opening one eye and looking at him, covering her surprise well when she found he was no longer by the window but just a few inches in front of her, "Anyway, you said you wanted to talk so shoot" she told him, opening both her eyes and relaxing her body, leaning back a little on her hands.

William copied and sat staring at her for several moments, head tilting to one side as he did so. Just when she was about to ask him what the hell he thought he was looking at, he spoke.

"How many people have you ever talked to about your parents?" he asked her, looking seriously thoughtful about it. Buffy looked visibly startled by the question and not at all comfortable.

"What business is that of yours?" she snapped without thinking. He didn't mean to upset her or anything, she was sure, but it was like a reflex action to bite the heads off anyone that tried to get close to her, get behind the barriers she'd so expertly built after her Mom and Dad passed away.

"Buffy, last night I told you things that I never told anyone" he admitted softly, "and yet I'd promised myself that I wouldn't, just five minutes before you walked into my room"

"And what?" she shrugged, "It's my fault that you spilled your guts to me?"

"No" he was quick to answer, shaking his head in the negative, "You seem determined to start an argument with me" he sighed, "Perhaps this was a bad idea"

William got to his feet and Buffy hated that she felt bad for treating him as she was, but she couldn't seem to help herself.

"Look, you have to learn, Will" she told him with a tired sigh, as she scrambled to her feet and stood next to him as they both looked out of the window once again, "We're from different worlds, and just because last night got kind of intense with the sharing...it doesn't mean we're suddenly best friends" she told him as she turned to leave. In some ways, as crazy as it was, she thought she might like this guy for a friend. He wanted to talk to her, and that was a pleasant change, since most guys were more interested in jumping her than anything else. Still it was also sort of disconcerting that he hadn't tried to come onto her at all.

"Do you like me?" she asked suddenly, turning back from the door. He looked at her strangely then.

"What do you mean?" he checked, wanting to be very sure before he said something foolish.

"Do you like me?" she repeated, "Do you think I'm attractive?"

He coloured at the implications of the question and the way she'd almost struck a pose to show herself off, speech became an issue for poor William.

"I..I don't think that..." he stammered a little before he got the whole sentence out the way he wanted it, "I find it hard to believe that any man would not find you attractive"

"That wasn't what I asked" she told him with a sly smile. His failure to give a properly formed response was all the answer she needed really, but as much as she was starting to kind of like him, it was fun to watch him suffer a little bit.

With a deep breath William took a step towards her, reaching for the door handle slightly to her side.

"Yes, Buffy" he said in a soft tone, "I find you very attractive" he admitted, pulling the door open and causing her to move so he could exit the room.

As much as the blonde wanted to rejoice in both his admission and apparent discomfort that she had caused, she couldn't quite manage it. The look in his eyes when he'd told her that he liked her, there was attraction there, but behind a big dark cloud of something else. As she stood there for a brief moment considering it she realised what it was - disappointment.

With a mixture of hurt and fury running through her veins she stormed off after him. How dare he look at her like that, how her uncle looked at her, and Giles yesterday when she'd been swimming in the lake. What right did he have to find her disappointing? She didn't understand and she really wanted to hit something right now!

"Hey!" she yelled as she caught up to him, grabbing his arm and making him turn to face her half way along the landing, "What is up with you?" she demanded to know.

"Nothing" he told her, pulling his arm free and rubbing it with his other hand. She had a hell of a grip for a girl, "Nothing you'd be interested in at least" he added almost nastily, walking away, but still Buffy followed.

"You don't make any sense!" she yelled, "You stand there and tell me I'm attractive and then you run away. Are you afraid of me, is that it?" she asked almost laughing at the concept, and loving it just a little bit too.

"I'm not afraid, Buffy" William assured her as they got to the bottom of another flight of stairs and stopped, "I'm...I don't believe I understand you" he frowned, "Yesterday you talked to me like a person, and today...why are your looks so important to you?" he asked eventually, "This image you have, these clothes you wear to catch attention..."

"I wear these clothes for me" Buffy argued, "I look this way because I want to, not for anyone else"

"To be honest Buffy" William sighed tiredly, "I don't care, I just can't...I was mistaken to think I could talk to you about my problems and for that I'm truly sorry but..."

"Problems?" the blonde girl interrupted him, looking a little stunned, "What problems?"

William looked at the floor and everywhere but at the girl before him. Her hand found his on the edge of the banister rail and though it surprised him it also made him smile slightly.

"It's Drusilla" he said huskily, watching Buffy's fingers squeezing his own, "but...you don't want to hear this" he turned away but her grip tightened on his hand and didn't let him leave.

"I'm not good at this" she admitted, "but if you wanna tell me, I'll listen"

William looked back her, smiling gratefully as he nodded in agreement. He did want to tell her, he really had no-one else to talk to. Though Giles cared, he was busy a lot and even when he were free to listen Will knew his uncle didn't really understand. He tried to, but unless you were a person who had been through the same pain and loss it was impossible for you to comprehend and sympathise in the manner that was needed.

Buffy looked awkwardly down at her hand over William's and pulled it away suddenly, running her fingers through her hair to cover her slight embarrassment. It was weird to her that he could make her feel so strangely vulnerable at times. Still, he also made her feel sort of special, especially now he wanted to talk to her. It meant that she mattered to him, that she was important enough to be told his secrets - he trusted her. No-one else ever really had.

They were soon sitting back in the attic room, and he began to tell her everything he'd planned to before.

"They called me yesterday, to tell me that perhaps I shouldn't visit this weekend" he explained, "That's why I was so worked up about it all before...She's having another of her turns for the worse"

"You visit every weekend?" Buffy checked.

"I try to" he nodded into his response, "And even though I'm here, I'm no further from the place. It's more-or-less in the middle between my home and here" he told her, so glad to know someone was interested in what he was telling them. He didn't talk to anyone about Dru. His father's mood only ever got worse when he tried to talk to him, and he didn't like to burden Giles with all his nancy-boy worries.

"She's lucky y'know" Buffy told him, making him look at her strangely, "I mean not for the...problems and stuff" she clarified, "but to have someone that really cares about her like that. I'll bet you're a really great brother"

"Perhaps" he smirked at that, not really knowing how to take it, and finding it endearing how Buffy was trying to be as she was - kind, caring, and considerate. These things he was sure would have come to her so easily if she'd had the love of her mother and father, or even her uncle and aunt, but no-one had ever cared enough to listen to her or be there for her, she put up walls to hide the pain and fear that no-one would help her get over, and so the girl before him now was made.

"Look, I dunno much about psychology or whatever" she admitted, "but if your sister isn't so good, wouldn't it help her to see you, someone she recognises?"

"I think so" William agreed, "and she does always know me...all the others she'll be oblivious to, but through it all she always knows me"

Tears came to his eyes as he spoke about it and he fought against them as his father had taught him to well. You do not cry in front of people, you do not appear weak and feeble. If you must give in to tears you do so in private and not make yourself look like anymore of a ponce than you already are.

"If you think it'll help then go and see her" Buffy's voice broke through his deep thoughts and painful memories, "I mean, she's your sister, it has to be your choice, right?"

"But they told me not to visit" William looked troubled, but she just rolled her eyes at him.

"God William, do you always do everything you're told to do!" she asked in frustration. She knew this guy was kind of the geek type and everything but did he really have to act like such a loser!

"You told me you didn't understand me, cos yesterday I'd talk to you and today I'm not so big with the listenage" she reminded him, "Well yesterday you were jumping-in-lakes guy and now you won't even face a couple of nurses to see your sister. What gives?"

"That's not me Buffy" he shook his head, "I'm not jumping-in-lakes guy as you would call me, I don't know how to be"

"Then I'll teach you" she smiled, eyes glittering with the promise of fun, "What do you say, Will? Wanna see what life's like on the other side?"

To Be Continued...


	8. The RoadTrip

A/N : Wow, it's been a week and a half since this fic got updated. I guess that's not too bad since I am writing four fics at once. Here's hoping you lovely readers are still reading despite the slower updates. Thanx muchly to; Moonjava, Daniel Wesley Rydell, Ape18, wicked-angel-413, XspikeXbuffyX, boeketjebloemen, Brunettepet, EMBER91, demonica mills, axlgroupie91, Spikez-babe91, littlewiccan, funkydevil206, spuffygurl11, Moluvsnumber17, Freezyboncoolipants, and Baby Girl Geller-Green for the reviews on the previous chapter. You guys make me smile.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 8 - The Road-Trip

As he stood before his uncle, William felt decidedly like the accused on trial, though he'd done nothing at all to feel guilty about. He didn't intend to do anything so very awful on this trip with Buffy they had planned. Just go to see Dru and then on to London where the blonde told him she would 'introduce him to the other side' or at least the British version of her world. They'd left off that last part of course, only mentioning Drusilla and sight-seeing for Buffy.

Now a couple of hours after their plans had been made, they stood in Giles' home-office awaiting his approval.

"Well you're both adults, albeit young ones, but still" he said removing his glasses and polishing them furiously, "I have no problem at all with you going together to see Drusilla, but this trip to London afterwards..."

"It's perfectly safe Giles, I assure you" William interrupted him as Buffy stood patiently at his side, checking her nails for lack of something better to do, "Your car will come back in one piece and neither Buffy nor myself should come to any harm. I know my way around as well as anyone could" Will assured his Uncle, desperate to have his permission to take this trip with his new friend.

"Indeed, I have complete trust in you, William" Giles told the boy as he replaced his glasses on his nose "I just..." he glanced at Buffy and then back, "well, I'm not certain you've thought about this"

"Translation, you trust Will, but you don't trust me" Buffy said looking increasingly pissed off about it. Giles didn't like the dangerous look in her eyes and tried to placate her.

"Now really Buffy that's not it at all" he tried to tell her, but she interrupted.

"Sure it is" she waved an arm emphatically, "He told me he made the same trip last Summer. You're only all wiggy about this because he'll be gone a little longer and because he wants to take me with him" she said, knowing it was true, "You think I'm gonna murder him half way down the highway, Giles?" she asked him with a look, hands on her hips.

"Buffy don't be so ridiculous" he said agitatedly, knowing what she said was actually at least half true, "I merely wish to keep you both safe. Your Aunt and Uncle have entrusted me with your safety and I will not have it jeopardised"

Buffy looked daggers at him as he made her feel so young and stupid.

"Y'know I was actually starting to feel like..." she started, before realising William and Giles were both staring at her and the defensive walls flew back up, "Doesn't matter, I don't feel it anymore" she huffed, turning and storming out of the room. The door slammed behind her loud enough to wake the dead and the two men winced as it did so.

"Oh heavens" the older man sighed, sitting down on the edge of his desk, removing his glasses once again and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Giles, reconsider, please" William pleaded with him, "I know Buffy comes across as, well, a bitch I suppose" he said uneasily "but she's not so violent or even as unpredictable as she seems"

"It is not her I worry about so much, William" Giles told him, though his eyes remained mostly on the floor, "it is you in her company that concerns me"

He'd never had to worry about bad influences on his nephew before. His father barely spent any time with him and he came in to contact with few other people that would get him into any kind of trouble, until now of course.

"If this is about yesterdays...episode" said William, "then I apologise if we shocked you. We were having fun Giles, it's what young people are supposed to do" he realised.

Yesterdays event may have been different to his usual behaviour, but for the most part he had enjoyed himself, and come to realise that this was what he'd been missing in his life, Buffy was the missing piece.

"I'm fighting a losing battle aren't I?" Giles sighed, knowing that the only way William was going to grow up into a decent sort of man was to be allowed to be an adult and make his own decisions - even if he made a few wrongs ones along the way.

"I do believe you might be, yes" William smirked, something that was slightly unusual in itself. He turned and headed for the door but paused and turned back to his Uncle.

"You know we didn't have to ask permission" he pointed out, gaining Giles attention, "I'm nineteen years old after all, I could've just taken off in one of your cars, consequences be damned, but I didn't...Does that not bring you some comfort?"

"I suppose so" his Uncle smiled, but called after his nephew as he made to leave, "I want to know what's going on. You must call me at regular intervals, and if either one of you gets yourself in any kind of trouble..."

"We won't Giles" William called back to him, "You have my word"

* * *

As William put his bag into the back seat of the car he couldn't stop smiling. It was two days ago that he and Buffy shared a very odd yet life-changing conversation. She was an incredible young woman and like no-one else he'd ever met. Her aim in life at first glance seemed to be to go through the world wreaking havoc wherever she could, but on closer inspection William had found she was actually a very deep and insecure person who just wanted a friend, and someone who cared.

The day of 'the conversation' had led to Buffy's promise to show her new friend the way things really were in the world. She was certain he could be this amazing person and though he was less convinced of that, he didn't mind experiencing something a little different, especially if it pleased Buffy.

"Woah" her voice outside the car startled him, almost making him bump his head "and here was me thinkin' Giles was all straight-laced and boring, and the guy owns a Viper" she grinned, taking in the sight of the beautiful silver-coloured car. William pulled his head out of the back to look at her and found himself completely at a loss for words.

Clearly the small amount of effort she'd made to cover her skin before had been for Giles' benefit. The skirt she wore now barely earned it's title and Will was fairly sure he'd seen belts that covered more. In contrast her high-heeled boots were almost to her knees, whilst her halter neck top adequately covered her chest but left her back open to view.

"Er, yes" he coughed a little, trying to keep his eyes on her face, "I thought this would be a little more your style so to speak" he gestured to the car as she strutted over, pulling her sunglasses from on top of her head and putting them where they belonged on her face.

"It rocks" she said of the car as he opened the door for her, causing her to stifle a giggle, "and anyway I thought my style was gonna be your style by the time we got back" she said as she climbed into the car, apparently not worried by the fact she showed her underwear when she did so, or the fact that it took William several moments to get over the incident.

"Perhaps" he said eventually as he moved round to get to he drivers seat, "Although I think I'd look awful in that outfit" he smirked, eyes glittering with fun as he pulled on his seatbelt and waited for her to do the same.

"Sarcasm, huh?" Buffy grinned, "That's a start" she commented as she threw her small bag into the back, "So, what are we waiting for?"

"Nothing at all" William realised, turning the key in the ignition and making the radio blare loudly with something distinctly punkish.

"What is this?" Buffy seemed highly amused as she adjusted the dial slightly so they could hear themselves think.

"Er" William listened for a moment before answering, "I do believe it's the Sex Pistols"

Buffy let out a hearty laugh at that one.

"Giles listens to the Sex Pistols in his Viper?" she chuckled, "Okay, did I just enter Bizarro World?"

"If you did I think I must've joined you" William told her, unable to stop from laughing himself as he drove out of the garage.

"Y'know this is actually pretty good" Buffy decided a she got into the rhythm of the music and William smiled at her enthusiasm for it.

"Yes, it's not bad at all is it" he grinned as they swung around the side of the house and sped down the driveway.

"I do believe I may be insane" Giles sighed as he stood in the front doorway of his house and watched his nephew and God-daughter go tearing off in one of his most expensive cars, the music blasting so loud he was positive their ears must be bleeding.

"Will and the Buffster headed off for London, huh?" Xander commented as he finished up washing the ground floor windows.

Giles nodded bsently as he watched the tail lights of the car disappear.

"I know it's ridiculous and William is a sensible lad, but that girl..." he sighed.

"For what it's worth, sir" Xander began carefully, not wanting to cause offence, "and I know it's none of my business but...those two have spent a lot of time together and every time you see them they're laughing and getting along. I think maybe given a shot she can be an okay person" he told his boss, always willing to give everyone a chance, much like his sister would.

"I do hope you're right, Xander" said Giles as he went back inside the house, "truly I do"

* * *

"This is so wild" Buffy laughed as she pulled the rest of Giles CDs out from the glove compartment, "AC/DC, The Ramones...who knew Giles liked this stuff"

"I certainly didn't" William admitted, "but I must say I can see the appeal" he went on to say. Buffy gave him a look of disbelief.

"Perhaps it is a little loud but I think it would be a good way of escaping, driving a little too fast with his kind of music playing"

"You don't know the half of it" Buffy grinned, hitting a button that slid the sun roof back.

"Er, Buffy" William said nervously as she undid her seatbelt, "What exactly are you doing?"

"Having a good time" she told him with a grin as she stood herself up.

With the top half of her body outside the car, the fresh air blowing her hair back and her arms waving wildly, Buffy had never felt so alive. William sat inside the car, trying not to be petrified for both their lives, since she was hardly in a safe position right now and the view he had when he glanced to hisleft was in danger of taking too much of his attention off the road and causing them to crash.

After a minute or so, Will decided enough was enough. They were nearing the institution and he didn't fancy the staff thinking his passenger was on the 'to be admitted' list. Just as he opened his mouth to tell Buffy to get back inside she did so anyway, coughing strangely.

"You alright, pet?" he checked as she swallowed hard and reached into the back to get her bottle of water from her bag.

"I think I ate a bug" she told him with some distaste as she gulped down more water.

It was all William could do not to laugh hysterically and he had to bite his lip to prevent it.

"William Rayne, tell me you're not laughing at someone else's misfortune" she said in a distinctly Giles tone, "Whatever would your Uncle think of you?" she smiled.

"Doesn't matter, does it?" he shrugged, "He's not here, and aren't you supposed to be teaching me how to live on your wild side of the tracks?" he reminded her, glancing across to see her smile dangerously.

"Believe me, it's only gonna get better, baby" she winked, sipping her water as both she and William turned their eyes back to the road ahead. A short distance away, a large building loomed and the atmosphere in the car turned serious as Will shut off the radio.

"It's bigger than I thought" Buffy commented as she stared at the building they were approaching, "And y'know that's not a phrase I use a lot" she smirked, in the hopes of lightening the mood, actually just causing William to blush at the implications of her innuendo.

"You sure you want to do this, pet?" he asked a moment later, "I mean, Dru can be...unpredictable" he said as he pulled the car into a space outside the institution.

"In case you hadn't noticed" she told him, "I do okay at unpredictable myself"

"This is different" he told her firmly. Jokes were all well and good but this was serious, this was his sister and her sometimes-frightening mental state. Underneath it all William was sure Buffy was a decent and compassionate girl but this was a big deal and the last thing he wanted was to upset either her or poor Drusilla.

"Will, I said I wanted to meet your sister, and I do" she said, looking over him, the hand she put on his arm felt as if it burnt but he couldn't move, "I promise to behave in there, okay? And whatever she does, even if I get seriously freaked, I won't show it"

"Thankyou Buffy" he said more sincerely than he'd ever said anything, as he put his hand on hers and squeezed it gently.

"So let's get going already" she said, uncomfortable with all the serious looks and declarations by now. They both climbed out of the Viper and Will checked three times it was locked and alarmed correctly before they went inside.

To Be Continued...


	9. The Sister

A/N : Thanx so much to the latest reviewers; Ember91, Brunettepet, wicked-angel-413, Ape18, demonica mills, spiked-gurl, boeketjebloemen, Spikez-babe91, funkydevil206, Spuffy2008, Moluvsnumber17, XspikeXbuffyX, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Daniel Wesley Rydell, and littlewiccan. Yes, Spike is on the way though we have a little more stuff to get through first. The real Spuffyness will be a while coming but I think it would be terribly unrealistic to rush it, neither of them are just gonna dive right in and be all 'I love you' immediately - we have quite a long way to go yet. Here's hoping you guys stick with it and continue to enjoy the story.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 9 - The Sister

"She's ready to see you now" a kindly looking nurse-type said as she exited Drusilla's room, leaving the door ajar. William shared a glance with Buffy, glad of the supportive smile she gave him, and the fact that her hand slipped into his as they walked through the door.

By the window sat a young woman with such dark hair it made her pallid skin look all the more pale. She wore a long creamy coloured lacy dress that Buffy swore came out of the Victorian era. She didn't look crazy, just frighteningly still as she stared out across the scenery, but then Buffy had never met a real live crazy person before.

"Drusilla, luv" William said gently as they approached.

"And there he is" she grinned not yet turning her head, "My sweet brother William come to visit me like a good boy"

She finally turned then and spared a look at Buffy.

"And he's brought a little friend for us to play with" she continued, the look in her eyes somewhere between playful and dangerous. Luckily Buffy was an expert at hiding fear. She didn't even flinch as the brunette came towards her, stopping just a stride away.

Dru closed her eyes and put her hands up in front of her, palms facing Buffy who shared a look with William. He gestured for her not to worry as Drusilla swayed side to side her hands eventually shifting to hold her head.

"Oh William" she sighed, frowning first then smiling, "It's dark where she is" she said when she finally opened her eyes and faced him, "but the sun will shine through in the end" she decided, "and you my darling boy" his sister continued, putting a hand on his shoulder and leaning in to whisper in his ear, "All the birds will sing for you, and all the stars will too" she giggled, making William smile himself.

"Dru, this is Buffy Summers, she's a friend of mine" he introduced.

"Hey" the blonde waved a little, feeling very awkward suddenly.

"She is the pretty one you were waiting for" Drusilla laughed like a child, "Yes, she'll do very well..." she paused and a strange look came over her face before she grabbed Buffy's hand and walked across the room to her bed where they both sat down.

"Do you like dolls?" the brunette asked as she reached across the bed.

"Uh, I guess" Buffy lied as a china doll was thrust into her hands.

"Say hello to Miss Edith then" Drusilla ordered and William noticed how stupid Buffy must feel.

"Dru, maybe Buffy doesn't want to..." he started, but soon stopped when the blonde smiled at the doll in her hands.

"Hey Miss Edith, nice to meet you" she said. Drusilla smiled triumphantly at her brother, a look that said 'see, she wants to be my friend too'.

* * *

An hour passed in which William felt very much the third wheel. His sister chatted animatedly to Buffy about all manner of things, and for the most part her probing questions were not too inappropriate. Despite the fact he was almost completely left out of conversation, Will found he didn't mind. To see Dru like this, so happy and almost normal, with Buffy who herself seemed so at ease, it gave him a great feeling of contentment.

"Dear William" Drusilla frowned suddenly, "Princess is a bad girl" she scolded herself, "Left the sweet boy all alone in the corner like a dunce"

"Sorry" Buffy said, as she suddenly noticed how right Dru was, "You came here to see your sister and I kinda got all the attention"

"He doesn't mind" his sister grinned, "Too kind, too soft...let the damsels run amok to save them from distress"

"I never let you run amok, Dru" William smiled indulgently, "Never got a choice in what you did, couldn't stop you if I wanted too"

"Free spirits can't be caged like birds" she shook her head, one hand going absently to her throat, "Poor chick will choke with bars to bind her" her grip tightened on her own neck til she started to go a funny colour and Buffy wasn't sure what to think.

"No, luv" William was immediately at his sister's side, prising her fingers from her own windpipe, "Don't do that, pet"

Tears came to her eyes as he held both her hands in his and she started to rock back and forth as she looked at him.

"Princess didn't mean it" she promised, as she began to cry and William pulled her into a hug. He was used to this, strange mood swings and the like. It usually meant she was due her drugs and as if they'd read his mind a nurse tapped on the door and entered quietly. Buffy got up to leave, feeling very awkward and out of place.

"Bye Dru" she said softly as she made for the door.

On the other side she leaned against the wall and expelled a breath. Meeting William's sister was an intense experience, and nothing like what she'd expected. She tried to imagine how it must have been for him, trying to cope with looking after her when he was just a child. She couldn't understand how anyone would begin to deal with that. The more she got to know William, the more Buffy realised that she was far from the only one to have suffered as she grew up. Yes, she'd lost her parents and it was a tragedy but it was not the only bad thing to happen in the world.

"Buffy?" William was by her side when she looked up and without a word she put her arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

"Hey now, what's this about?" he said nervously, though having her in his arms did feel wonderful. A moment later she pulled away, a tear escaping down her cheek.

"I'm sorry" she told him, "You're a different person to what I thought, and, well..." she had trouble saying all that she meant and William hated to see her struggle with it.

"I'm sorry too" he apologised, "Dru can be a little..."

"No" Buffy interrupted, shaking her head, "She's great, really. It's not her fault she does some weird stuff...and y'know before the whole strangling deal...she's fun to hang with"

William smiled at that, cautiously bringing his hand up Buffy's cheek and wiping away the lone tear she didn't seem to have noticed she'd shed.

"You know, Buffy" he said softly, "You try to hide it, but underneath it all, you're really a very sweet girl, aren't you?"

"Yeah, right" the blonde scoffed at that, automatically going back into carefree mode, but he could see in her eyes it was all a lie. Once the facade had been allowed to let slip it was pointless putting it back in place, even she herself knew that but it didn't stop her trying for the most part.

"Tell anyone, and you die bloody" she told him with a smirk that showed she was teasing.

"Never say a word, luv" he promised her, "Scouts honour" he added with the appropriate salute as they headed back out of the building.

"You were a boy scout?" she asked him with a disbelieving look till he turned away.

"Just for a day" he admitted, "I'm allergic to camping" he smirked, making her laugh out loud as they made their way back to the car.

* * *

It was about a half hour later when William pulled the car into the lot of a small country hotel. He and Buffy would be staying just the one night, visiting Drusilla again tomorrow morning and then driving down to London after lunch.

"So, this is where you stay every weekend that you visit Dru?" Buffy asked as they climbed out of the car and pulled their bags from the back.

"Yes" William nodded, "and you should actually feel quite at home, the owners are American"

"Seems like there's more people from my country over here than yours" she smiled as they arrived at the front door and he opened it for her like a gentleman should.

They'd barely reached the front desk when a girl a little taller than Buffy but much younger looking came galloping from a door, colliding with William and nearly knocking him over.

"Hello, Bit" he smiled, hugging her for a moment. Buffy felt ridiculous for feeling a little jealous as she watched the pair together.

"I can't believe how much you've grown" William told the girl when they parted, "Quite the young woman now, you are"

The young brunette coloured at his words, ducking her face behind her hair and turning away, coming face to face with Buffy.

"Hi" she said, frowning at what she considered to be 'a total skank-girl'.

"Oh, Dawn this is Buffy Summers" William quickly introduced, "Buffy this is Dawn, the owner's daughter. You two are fellow Americans you know"

"Huh" the younger girl looked entirely unimpressed as she headed back behind the counter, telling William she'd go find her parents to get him booked in.

"She's...friendly" Buffy commented as soon as she was gone and William shrugged.

"I've been coming here for a couple of years now" he explained, "Most of the time Dawn's away at boarding school but in the holidays we spend some time together whilst I'm here. Her parents are almost always busy and she gets lonely"

Their conversation was interrupted when Dawn re-appeared with her mother and the visiting pair were handed a key each. The young brunette seemed eager to follow William wherever he went and it was strange to the young man to note that Dawn and Buffy seemed to be shooting nasty looks at each other because of him. Whilst it was embarrassing he found it was also a little thrilling to know your attention was so much sought after, particularly by those of the opposite sex.

Eventually, Dawn's mother called her away, telling her to leave the guests alone as Buffy and William headed up to their respective rooms. From the outside, the hotel looked of an average size, yet somehow the bedrooms seemed huge. Buffy guessed the large windows and grand views beyond had something to do with that. As she stood staring out at the hills and trees there was a tap on her door before William entered.

"Is your room okay?" he asked her and she shrugged.

"Yeah, it's okay" she said, trying to look serious but having difficulty as smile broke out on her face, "Will, it's huge! Of course it's okay, better than okay. Kinda sucks you have to pay for all this though" she realised, "I don't really have a lot of cash or I could..."

"Now, Buffy" he silenced her, "We agreed not to talk about that"

She nodded that she remembered and decided to let it go. Anyone other than William she might have felt worse about his kindness, but he put her at such ease. Other guys she met, most of them in fact, would expect some kind of payment for all they gave her, in which case Buffy never would've accepted their offers. She was a lot of things but a hooker was not one of them, she didn't do the sexual favours thing. She was totally comfortable here, knowing William wasn't like that and would never try anything, though she had to admit that somewhere deep inside, she kind of wished he'd want her that way.

"I suppose we should get something to eat and then get some sleep" he suggested, glancing at the view that seemed to have her hypnotised.

"William, it's barely eight o'clock" she smirked, "And you're thinking about sleeping?" she checked.

"In case you've forgotten, Miss Summers" he smirked back at her, "Some of us have to play chauffeur again tomorrow - not just back to the home to see Dru but then all the way down to the other hotel in London" he reminded her.

With that he turned to leave, stopping just short of the door when she spoke to him.

"Y'know this time tomorrow, chauffeur or not, we will not be sleeping by eight" she told him as he turned back. The look in her eye made him blush, and she giggled.

"You wanted to see the wild side of life" she reminded him, "and it all starts tomorrow"

"Looking forward to it, luv" he smiled, despite his embarrassment, finally leaving her alone.

Tomorrow was going to make for an interesting day, what with another visit to see Drusilla, and then on to London where Buffy planned to show William how one partied with the best of them. As strange as it seemed, they were both quite looking forward to it.

To Be Continued...


	10. The Promises

A/N : I know I'm updating all out of sequence but I'm having a pretty good day today, I've got all this inspiration rocketing around in my head for my fics, and when it comes to this one I think I'm just about as eager as you guys to get to the really wild part where we finally get William turned into Spike. Although that doesn't happen in this chapter, this will bring us right up to the edge, so next chapter the real transformation can begin. Well, that's enough ramble from me, a quick thanx to all my fantabulous reviewers; Brunettepet, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Daniel Wesley Rydell, funkydevil206, Spuffy2008, PltnmDancer, Ape18, fanficaddict, XspikeXbuffyX, boeketjebloemen, Silent Rush, Spikez-babe91, and Moluvsnumber17 - and now on with the show!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. see chapter 1)_

Chapter 10 - The Promises

"Are you sure about this?" William asked Buffy as he pulled the car up outside the institution where his sister resided, "I mean, yesterday was..."

"Yesterday was fine" he was told in no uncertain terms, as he shut off the engine and the blonde beside him demanded his attention, "William, your sister is a great person. She says what she thinks and I respect that" she smiled, "Okay so maybe she went a little OTT yesterday and I admit I was a little freaked but that doesn't mean I've changed my mind about today" she told him.

"You are full of surprises, Buffy Summers" William smiled at her, and it bothered her a little that he was making her uncomfortable with his compliments.

"You have no idea" she said quickly, climbing from the car as he did the same.

They walked up to the front desk and were taken up to Drusilla's room by a nurse, just like yesterday. As William pushed on the door and went inside, Buffy took a deep breath and followed.

"Here they are again then" Drusilla grinned at the sight of them, "My darling brother and his pretty girl"

"Hello, luv" Will smiled as she came forward and hugged him. She seemed a lot more lucid today and that was a good sign, "How're you feeling?"

"Like I could fly to the moon and back" she giggled as she turned to Buffy, "Psst, want to know a secret" she whispered, urging the blonde to follow her across the room. Buffy smiled as she glanced at William before letting Dru lead her over to the corner.

"Love flies on fairy wings" she said seriously, "Sprinkles pretty dust on all of us, everyone of us" she smiled. Buffy looked at her strangely, wondering if what it seemed like she as saying could be true.

"Dru, is there a guy here that you like?" she asked cautiously, finding it amusing when the pale girl looked away and giggled.

"Says he'd rebuild the world the way I wanted, if I asked" she admitted, "and so pretty when he smiles" she sighed dreamily.

Buffy knew William was trying to both ignore them and hear what they were saying at the same time. She didn't know if Dru had made up this dream guy in her own head or if there really was a man in her life somehow, but she doubted Will would be to be pleased to hear either tale. Clearly his sister knew that too and that was why it was all a secret.

"Naughty Buffy" she heard Drusilla say and realised her attention had been very much taken by William, "You find my brother all too pleasing" she smirked.

"I so do not" the blonde laughed to cover the fact she wasn't really sure what to say. Thankfully Dru lost interest and wandered over to her brother. Buffy watched them for a while as they talked about nonsense, almost wishing she could have had a brother or sister to share things with. Secrets and games, that only siblings would understand. Faith was great but you couldn't talk to her about anything real. Everything was about dancing and drinking, guys and sex. Buffy hadn't realised that life was more than a combination of just these things till she'd spent some time away from that world.

Here in England, forced to live amongst refined people, people who actually cared about others, even her. It was so strange but things were starting to matter, things she hadn't thought about for years. When she picked out her clothes, she now asked herself if those around her would approve of what she wore, William in particular. What was he doing to her to make her feel like this? She had thought she was immune to men and their affections. She used them and moved on just like Faith did, except for Angel of course, he was a little more special than the rest but not enough to get too far under her skin, she wouldn't allow it.

"What are the birds singing about where you are?" Drusilla asked suddenly, right in her face.

Buffy made a startled sound and blinked several times as she came back to reality.

"You alright, luv?" William checked and she smiled.

"Sure, just kinda zoned out, no big" she covered, "Just a day dream"

"Sometimes I dream of rainbow coloured castles" Drusilla smiled as she sat down beside her new friend once again, "I'm a princess and my knight in shining armour saves me from the monsters..." she trailed off and the smile slid from her face, replaced by a dark look, "The monsters want to take me" she said softly, staring a spot on the wall that no-one else could see, "They say that I'm a bad, bad girl" she grimaced and Buffy suddenly became aware of what Drusilla was doing. The nails of one hand scratched the back of the other, already marking the skin there, "Bad girls must be punished, taught a lesson" she continued, sharp nails almost drawing blood by now. William moved barely a fraction of an inch, planning to go to his sister and stop her before she hurt herself but he never got the chance.

"But you're not a bad girl" Buffy cut in, taking hold of Dru's hands but not saying a word about what she'd been doing, "You're a good girl, a real princess" she told her, as the pale girl stared at her strangely, "It has to be true, I mean, your brother is a real prince, right?" the blonde smiled, glancing over at William and hoping he'd play along. He was too stunned to say anything.

Drusilla giggled as his dumb expression.

"Dear William, a prince among men" she said amusedly, "Proper gentleman my brother" she nodded.

William coloured at their comments and checked his watch.

"Nearly time for us to be going, pet" he told his sister, "but I'll be back next week, okay?"

"I shan't be lonely" she smiled as he came over and hugged her, "Miss Edith will watch over me til I see you again"

"I'm sure she will, luv" he said, kissing her forehead affectionately.

"Oh" Drusilla complained as Buffy stood up, "I wasn't done with her yet, and you're taking her away" she said, sending a look her brothers way. He shared a look with Buffy and was more than a little stunned when she sat back down on the bed and looked seriously at Dru.

"Tell you what, next time Will comes to visit, I'll ask him to bring me with him if you want" she asked, "That sound okay?"

"Perfect" the raven-haired girl grinned, "We shall be very good sisters you know"

Buffy didn't say anything and William too shied away from the implications of that particular comment, but then much of his attention was still taken by the very fact Buffy was being kind to his unbalanced sister. He was almost certain there was probably a beautiful person underneath the more obvious external beauty of this girl but the more time he spent with her the more he felt that even he might have underestimated her.

They both said goodbye to Drusilla and walked back to the car in silence. It was only when they started to drive back towards the hotel to pick up their bags that William decided on the words he wanted to say.

"Buffy" he said suddenly, somewhat startling her since the silence had gone on so long until now, "Did you mean what you said to Drusilla?" he asked her, glancing between her face and the road.

"I dunno" she shrugged, trying to be nonchalant whilst knowing she really had meant what she'd said, just a little wary of him thinking she might actually care.

"Oh" he sounded too disappointed and Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat, fiddling with the radio so she could concentrate on something else.

"I guess if you want me to go with you to see her again" she said quietly, "That'd be okay" she told him, not looking at him at all as she finally tuned the radio to a station she was happy with.

William smiled but didn't say another word on that subject.

"So, we pick up our bags and then on to London, I suppose" he said as they drove on down the road.

"That was the plan" Buffy grinned when she remember their bargain, "Ready to go wild, Will?" she asked with a look. He hardly dare glance at her for fear of losing concentration and crashing the car, because he knew that suggestive look was on her face again.

"Er, yes" he said, trying to sound much more confident than he felt, "I think so"

* * *

The lights of London as they drove down the streets were what held Buffy's attention. She looked like a kid in front of a Christmas tree for the first time in her life, and William was sorry he had to keep his eyes on the road instead of looking at her. He was naturally a little wary of where this trip would end up going, not so much destination-wise as in a wild kind of way.

On the way to the hotel Buffy had pointed out various clubs that they might check out and William dare not admit that the very idea petrified him. He'd agreed to this trip, this 'wild' adventure and he would see it through, if only to please his companion. The girls eyes had gone comically wide when they'd arrived at the hotel. It was a little grander than she'd assumed apparently, and the way she stared at everything like a small child in awe of it all was quite amusing and endearing too.

"This must be costing you a fortune" she'd commented almost guiltily as they were shown their rooms. Altogether the two bedrooms and adjoining bathroom were larger than any of her friends apartments back home and almost as big as the rooms in Giles' House.

"Not in relative terms" he'd told her, regarding the money, making it clear he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

* * *

It was an hour later when she knocked on his door and let herself in when he called that she could.

"Hey" she smiled, "So, we going out or what?"

"I suppose" William answered with his back still to her.

When he turned and saw her he was stunned. Though he'd seen her in clothes like these before she was never so, well, glamorous perhaps was the word. Her top looked black from most angles but sparkled with silver glitter when the light caught it just so. Her black pants looked practically painted on and William did his best not to stare too obviously but it wasn't easy. He wasn't entirely certain, when he looked up at her face, why she over-did her make-up like that. She was so pretty without anything added. Though he'd never tell her he didn't like the way she looked with all that stuff hiding her natural good looks.

"Um" she bit her lip as she observed him, "You're going to change, right?" she checked and he looked down at his sensible attire.

"I confess I'm not certain what I should change into" he said uncomfortably, "or even if I have anything at all that would be suitable"

"Hmm" she said stepping towards him, circling him like a predator. He felt rather embarrassed and not at all comfortable. She soon switched her attention from him to the contents of his bag, pulling out various things and frowning before throwing them to one side.

"Do you even own a T-shirt?" she asked incredulously.

"I...that is to say..." he stumbled over his words, feel terribly out of place and uneasy, "I'm not certain I like you going through my things" he said, encouraging her to stop, "I, I really think this was a bad idea" he told her, almost physically pushing her towards the door.

Buffy frowned before realising what his problem was. He was embarrassed, he was almost ashamed of not being the guy she knew he could be given the chance. When they'd arrived at the hotel there'd been a guy outside. He was hot and clearly interested in her, but whilst Buffy had graced him with a smile she'd barely paid him any attention. Clearly though, even the small look of vague interest had not escaped William's notice. He was insecure and unsure of himself. Buffy didn't like to see those feelings in him, though in others she found it amusing. He was so strong for his sister, and for her when she needed him to be. Now he had to learn to be strong for himself, to be the person she knew he was inside.

"William" she said as she stood by the door, "Do you trust me?" she asked, not sure whether she'd consider him a fool or not if he said yes.

"Yes, I believe I do" he told her solemnly.

"How about we postpone the club trip till tomorrow night?" she said, a smile forming on her lips, "If you can trust me, and spare a little cash, I guarantee that by then you'll be begging me to take you out"

William considered her suggestion, but was as yet unsure as to whether he fully understood what she was proposing.

"I could make you over" she explained, noticing his bemused expression, "Let the inner Will out, bring your wild side to the surface just like I promised" she grinned, "What do you say?"

With more confidence than he really felt, the young man nodded.

"I say... yes" he agreed, "I'll do it"

To Be Continued...


	11. The Makeover

A/N : I so love writing this fic right now, I just can't get the ideas on the page/screen fast enough, and it seems you guys are all in a hurry to get William turned into Spike too so here's the make-over chapter! First just a quick thanx to the latest reviewers; Ape18, sPIKEanDmE, Daniel Wesley Rydell, PltnmDancer, Spuffy2008, Anyanka0705, Freezyboncoolipants, littlewiccan, funkydevil206, spuffygrl11, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Brunettepet, Moluvsnumber17, Spikez-babe91, and spuffygrl - you rock, as always!  
_(For disclaiemr, etc. see chapter 1)_

Chapter 11 - The Make-Over

As soon as William saw the sort of shops Buffy wanted to take him in he started to regret his agreement with her. The clothes that the models in the windows of these stores wore were not at all the kind of thing he'd ever choose for himself, but then was that not the point of all this, he asked himself. He wanted to be different, not what everyone expected him to be, no longer the type of person who would be bullied and ridiculed by his fellow students at university, or by his father at home.

"Earth to William" Buffy said, waving a hand in front of his face, "God, zone out much?" she laughed as he blinked and focused his eyes on her once again, "And you know that's another thing we're going to have to deal with" she muttered as she looked through racks of black denim and leather.

"What other thing?" William frowned, feeling as if he'd turned over two pages at once and missed the point.

"Your name" Buffy told him simply, "William is a little too..."

"British?" he ventured.

"I was gonna go with weak and uncool, but whatever works for you" she shrugged, moving across the store. He followed her with a frown on his face.

"Oh because of course Buffy is such a wonderful name" he said sarcastically, "Sounds more like a pet rabbit than a girl"

"And he comes out swingin'" Buffy smiled, not at all offended by such comments, least of all from a guy like William, "Y'know if you keep this up you might even impress me"

"By insulting you?" he looked unimpressed by her logic and she rolled her eyes heavenward.

"You have got to learn to lighten up" she sighed as she pulled clothes from the rack in front of them and put them over his arms, "Just take these and go try them on" she ordered.

"They're all black" he noted with distaste until Buffy gave him a look that told him to just move it already. She waited outside the men's fitting room as he changed into the unlikely outfit and was getting quite bored when he hadn't emerged after fully ten minutes.

"Are you coming out of there?" she called to him, "Or do I have to come in and get you?" she grinned, liking the idea of catching him half-dressed suddenly. She knew there was a pretty good body under all those dull, insipid, and often tweedy type clothes he wore, might be fun to see what he could do with it too...

"I feel ridiculous" William told her when he finally emerged, more self-conscious than anything else if he was honest. The black jeans and T-shirt fit like a second skin, showing off that body Buffy was day-dreaming about moments before. Given how painfully shy and seemingly weak the guy was she doubted he worked out much, meaning that was some fine genetics his family had.

"Wow" the blonde smiled as she circled him, only making William feel worse. When he'd caught sight of himself in the mirror he wasn't sure he liked what he saw, the fact that he could see so much of himself was quite disturbing, but he dare not ask Buffy the reason for the tightness of his new clothes, for fear she might say something to embarrass him.

"Er, these boots are surprisingly comfortable" he noted, preferring to focus on his feet in a pair of Doc Martens than anything else right now.

"All looks good to me" Buffy nodded as she eyed him appreciatively, "but it needs something..." she said thoughtfully.

"Something?" William echoed as he waited for her to explain.

"Don't move" Buffy said suddenly hurrying off across the store.

"I'm not certain I could if I wanted to" he rolled his eyes wondering how one ever got used to these constrictive black clothes she'd got him into.

A moment later she was back and handing him a hanger with another item of clothing on it. Thankfully this one was not black, but in fact a blood red shirt which he slipped on over his T-shirt.

"Perfect" Buffy grinned as she walked around him once more, "I swear, that is such a good look for you"

"Really?" William asked warily, quite embarrassed by now as she looked at him as if she really liked what she saw. Maybe she did, but then it was probably just her being friendly, there was no reason to think she had any actual feelings for him.

"Really" she confirmed with a nod, "Now you gonna pay for these or just run out and hope they don't catch you?" she smirked. William wasn't entirely sure if she was joking about the stealing and gave her a look.

"Lighten up, Will" she sighed, "I didn't mean it. Well, maybe I did, but I don't make a habit of stealing whole outfits from clothes stores" she assured him.

William couldn't help thinking, as he changed back into his other clothes and paid for his new ones, that if Buffy didn't steal clothes what exactly was it she did steal. It certainly sounded as though she didn't mind the idea of shop-lifting, he only hoped she wouldn't try such things with him around.

"Okay, what is up with you?" she asked when they exited the shop and headed on down the street, "Ever since I made that joke about stealing you've been all non-relaxy" she pointed out.

"I find it difficult to relax when trying on clothes like these" he said casually, gesturing to the bag in his hand, "Although I admit there was a little more to it than that... Have you ever, not paid for things?" he asked carefully mindful of the girl's temper. He was grateful when she didn't explode at him.

"Not really" she admitted, "A couple of lipsticks, a bottle of scotch one time for a dare, nothing huge"

William wasn't sure whether he was relieved or disturbed by that. This girl he was walking with, a girl he trusted and liked, was in actual fact a petty thief. Did it change the fact that she was his friend, he wondered, coming up with the conclusion that no, it didn't matter at all to his opinion of her. She was wild, he'd always knows that, and she was changing him because he'd agreed to the proposition. Though he didn't think he'd be going out stealing and pillaging anytime soon, he did want to enter into her world as it were, she seemed to get such a kick out of life in a way he couldn't understand.

"Oh, I have just had the best idea" she told him, taking hold of his arm and steering him into a men's salon.

"What are you doing?" William asked, quite alarmed to find himself in a place full of rather frightening looking specimens of men with terrifying hair styles.

"Making you over like I promised" was Buffy's only response, "Now, stay there" she ordered as she got him to sit down in a chair and walked up to a counter on the other side of the salon.

She pointed at him a couple of times talking animatedly to the man there and gesturing at some pictures he showed her. A minute or two later the man had a chat with a young woman who nodded and grinned as she looked over at William. Suddenly he found himself in a stylists chair without a mirror, being talked at by the young woman who was apparently called Harmony. She didn't seem like she knew what she was doing and William would have been panicking by now if it weren't for the fact Buffy sat there right next to him. Her presence made it all okay, he trusted her after all, so nothing could go wrong.

It was quite a while later when Harmony really worried him.

"Oopsy" she giggled nervously "That's not good"

"What? What's not good?" he demanded to know as Buffy got to feet and surveyed the apparent damage.

"Oh" she said, forcing a smile, "No really, it's fine" she told William, patting him on the shoulder. He grabbed her hand and pulled her face down to his.

"Get me a bloody mirror, now" he demanded and Buffy was a little stunned, though she had to admit to herself, the forceful thing worked for him.

"Mirror, right" she nodded, pulling her hand free and getting Harmony to fix William's hair as best she could whilst she found a mirror. She purposefully spent a little longer than necessary before returning with a hand mirror which she passed to her friend.

"It was supposed to be highlights" she explained "Although I actually think it looks better this way..."

"Bugger me" William explained, uncharacteristically big with curse words at this juncture, but then the sight that met his eyes was entirely shocking. His hair, which he had almost always hated, was no longer brown and slightly curly, but a bright-to-the-point-of-white blond, with the waviness almost completely knocked out of it.

"I'm sorry" Harmony squeaked from behind him, "I'm kinda new at this and... I'm really sorry if you hate it"

"On the contrary luv" William said slowly, putting a hand to his unfamiliar head, "It's bloody brilliant" he grinned as he turned to look at both the stylist and Buffy, "Been wanting to change my hair for years just never knew what to do with it. I like it" he confirmed.

"Me too" Buffy smiled, "I mean, a little gel to keep it back off your face and yeah, it'll be totally cool. Good contrast to your new clothes too"

"You're not mad at me?" Harmony checked and when it was confirmed that they weren't she couldn't be more relieved. William even gave her a huge tip when paying for the service and Buffy noted he almost seemed like a different person already. She was certain all he needed was his confidence boosting and he'd be totally fine, at ease with anybody at all.

"So, we headed back to the hotel now, luv?" he asked Buffy as they walked back down the street. The blonde smiled involuntarily at how he'd started doing that, adding little pet names when he talked to her. He'd done the same thing to Harmony at the salon and several times with his sister when they'd visited, even that little girl Dawnie at the other hotel, but it didn't make her feel any less special when she was his 'luv' or 'pet'.

"Buffy?" he prompted when she didn't answer.

"Sorry, yeah, hotel, right" she agreed as they continued walking.

They were halfway back when something in a store window caught her eye and she stopped, causing William to run into her back.

"Exactly how much cash are you willing to spend on this new look of yours, William Rayne?" Buffy asked him, a smile slowly spreading on her lips.

"Depends what you had in mind" he frowned slightly at the dangerous look in her eyes, trying to remind himself that everything she'd made him buy and do this afternoon so far had been great, he really should trust her.

"I'll make you a deal" she told him, "There's something I just saw that I think you should really buy but it's kinda pricey" she explained, gesturing to the shop they were standing outside of, "How about we go in, you try it on and if you love it, you buy it. If not, I never mention it again. Deal?" she asked, holding out a hand for him to shake on it.

"Alright" he nodded slowly, putting his hand in hers and shaking, "Deal" he agreed, as they both held onto the others hand a little longer than they needed to, neither of them really certain why.

William was a little disturbed to be entering Rocko's Land of Leather, surrounded by rails of jackets, coats, trousers, all in black and brown shades, not to mention the array of Goth-type girls and Hells Angels' rejects checking out the latest items.

Buffy disappeared for a moment, returning to him a moment later with something large in black leather held behind her back.

"Close your eyes" Buff told him simply and he looked warily at her before doing a she asked. She took his bag from his hand and set it down, moving behind him and encouraging his arms into the sleeves of a black leather duster. She manoeuvred him over to a mirror and stood beside him before telling William to open his eyes.

"I know it doesn't go with what you're wearing" she said quickly, "but imagine it with your new outfit. What do you think?"

William seemed a little stunned by the sight of himself. The bleached hair came as a shock all over again, despite the fact he'd been checking it in every shop window since he'd had it done. The black leather coat swept down to almost his ankles and he tried to imagine how it'd look with the other black clothes, boots, and red shirt as well.

"Well?" Buffy pressed him for a reaction, "Likin' the picture or not?" she checked, leaning into him so they were both in the mirror. His eyes shifted from his own reflection to hers and he smiled.

"Definitely liking" he told her and she wasn't so blind that she didn't notice it was her he was looking at when he said it.

"So?" she said moving away to break the moment, "We buy, yes?"

"Yes" William agreed, slipping the coat off and taking it over to the counter to part with an obscene amount of cash. Buffy stayed where she was, watching him talk to the woman behind the counter and pay for his new coat. He liked her, she could tell, and the more time they spent together the more obvious it became. Of course she liked him too, though she'd never tell him that. To reveal your feelings to someone was to give them licence to hurt you, or so she believed. That's what Faith always said, and Buffy knew it was true. As far as men were concerned, well they only ever wanted one thing from you. May as well enjoy yourself and dump them before they dump you, that was the theory she lived by, as did her cousin.

Buffy sighed as she thought about William. He was so different to the other guys that had been in her life. He cared about her, she could see it sometimes when he looked at her, feel it when her hand had been in his. It was like she mattered, and nobody else really ever made her feel like that, no-one except William.

"Cost me an arm and a leg" he commented as he came back to join her and they exited the shop, "Worth it though, I think I'm going to like the new me" he smiled and Buffy did the same. She knew she was going to like the new William too. As scary as it was for her to realise, she really liked him already.

To Be Continued...


	12. The Club

A/N : Thanx to; spuffygrl11, Baby Girl Geller-Green, demonica mills, EMBER91, wicked-angel-413, Ape18, garfield16, XspikeXbuffyX, Spikez-babe91, Freezyboncoolipants, Daniel Wesley Rydell, Spuffy2008, Brunettepet, and Takari AAF, for the awesome reviews.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 12 - The Club

"And you promise I don't look ridiculous?" William asked for the seventh time. Buffy made an exasperated sound as she strode back across the room and stood next to him by the mirror. She'd yet to get him out of the hotel room, nevermind the building. By the time they got to the club she was sure it'd be closed!

"William, please" she urged him, "Can you just accept that you look great so we can leave?"

"It's just so different" he said, tilting his head as he looked himself over once again.

"And therein lies the point!" Buffy rolled her eyes, "For God sakes Will, this is getting so boring now"

He eventually conceded that he did look okay, though the lady on his arm would quite out-shine him. She smacked him across the arm for embarrassing her, which was in itself something kind of insane. Guys complimented Buffy all the time, she loved it, she lived for it some nights, it never really made her uncomfortable. It seemed it was just William's good opinion she couldn't deal with and she knew why. She was really starting to like the geek whom she'd done such a good job of making over. He truly was one of the most gorgeous guys she'd ever seen right at this moment and she knew that wasn't all down to the clothes she'd put him in and what had happened to his hair.

"You've gone quiet on me?" he observed as they walked down the street, "Something worrying you, pet?"

"Not so much" she said with a shake of her head, "Just kinda stunned by how hot you look" she smirked, "Even I didn't know you could look this good"

"You're teasing me" he assumed, looking away but she stopped walking and grabbed his hand to make him stop too.

"Really not" she promised, "You look awesome, and hey, if you don't believe me look over there" she pointed across the street and he glanced in the same direction, "Those girls can't take their eyes off you"

William found he quite liked the female attention he was getting, but not half so much as he liked the feel of Buffy's hand in his own. He was doing this wild thing first for himself, as some kind of escape from the person he was every day, a person he was growing to dislike a great deal. His other main reason for the change however was Buffy. He wanted to understand her and felt that perhaps this was the way. She had been forced into his world, now he wanted to put himself into an approximation of hers, in the hopes that some good would come out of it. So far, so good.

"This is perfect" the blonde said suddenly, and William zoned back into reality, finding himself outside of a night club with neon flashing lights declaring it was called Club USA.

"Stupid name, good music" Buffy decided as waves of thumping sound emanated from beyond the doors, "Shall we?" she asked William who took a deep breath.

"Lead the way, luv" he said trying to smile but feeling very sick. This was not his kind of place, and he was beginning to think he'd made the biggest mistake of his life agreeing to go in. He felt such a fake as he walked through the door and found himself surrounded by girls in skimpy clothes and men in ripped denim and leather. The nauseous feeling in his stomach was not at all pleasant, but not exactly unfamiliar either. William had felt almost equally as bad when he was forced to call his Uncle Giles and tell him everything was fine and promising no trouble would occur, at the same time putting on his black leather coat over his black and red outfit and gelling back his newly bleached blond hair.

Buffy pushed her way through the crowds of people to the bar and William followed, trying not to get crushed.

"What can I get you?" the barman spoke loudly over the thumping music, though it was less intrusive in this particular corner.

"Beer for me and er... what do you drink?" Buffy turned to William who shifted nervously. Truth was he didn't really drink anything as a rule, possibly a glass of wine with a meal or something but that was hardly an appropriate choice to be making now.

"Bourbon" he said the first spirit that popped into his head. Giles had the occasional drink and it was always bourbon or scotch. If his Uncle drank it, William surmised it must be fairly tame.

Buffy was looking at him with an amused smile when the barman put their drinks down in front of them, and William had no idea why until he picked up the glass and put to to his lips. Remembering the way Giles drank, Will knock the drink back in one, coughing loudly straight afterwards. Buffy bit her lip so as not to laugh as he declared it was 'very nice' and asked for another.

"You two are new to this place, aren't you?" the barman smirked, "I know most of the regulars and I think I would've remembered you, sweetheart" he said to Buffy who leaned over the bar and gave him a good view of her chest which her top could barely contain.

"That's a cheesy line, even for a bartender to use" she smirked, "but I'll play" she shrugged, "I'm Buffy, I'm from California"

"I'm Phil" the barman introduced himself, leaving William completely out of conversation by now, "So you on your holidays over here then?"

"Kind of" Buffy nodded. Phil opened his mouth to say something else when the man at Buffy's side slammed his glass on the bar top.

"Another, barman" he snapped and Buffy grabbed his arm that was waving the glass around now.

"Go easy, William" she cautioned him in a low voice, "That stuff is strong and I don't think you can handle it"

"Yes, _William_" Phil stressed his name, "Why don't you have a nice fizzy water or something and piss off so I can get to know Buffy better"

"Why don't you piss off!" she told him in no uncertain terms.

He was good-looking and she'd have happily got to know him better in any way he liked, but not if he was going to insult William like that. Despite her better judgement she liked the young man she had made over, and she would not have him spoken to like this.

"Come on" she said, getting hold of his arm, "Let's dance"

"Buffy" William protested as she dragged him towards the dance floor, "Buffy, I don't do this sort of danc... oh" he stopped suddenly when he caught sight of two girls a few feet away who seemed to have completely abandoned the concept of dancing, instead kissing and groping each other in what William knew to be a highly inappropriate manner for a public place. However, as with all men, whilst his brain thought it was inappropriate, other parts of his anatomy were enjoying the show a little too much. In the crush of people, he had ended up more or less pressed up against Buffy's back and she moved fast when she realised what was happening.

"Honestly, men!" she sighed, "You see two guys kiss and you wanna hurl, but when it's two girls... stuff happens" she gestured vaguely and William looked suitably ashamed of himself. Buffy was also fairly uncomfortable, and she wondered vaguely if most of her problem wasn't just because someone else got a 'reaction' as it were from William, and she hadn't.

"Hey" said a voice behind William, and a girl who was dressed not dissimilarly to Buffy appeared next to him.

"Hello" he said nervously, clearing his throat when he felt words escape him.

"What's your name?" she asked, apparently a little worse for wear for the drink but nevertheless all to eager to get her hands on William.

"My name? Er, well..." her hands on his chest and the view he had down her top was very distracting and every proper thought was vacating his head at some speed.

"Spike" Buffy suddenly said the first thing that came into her head, and she knew why it had too, "His name is Spike" she smiled, before striding away, leaving the newly christened Spike alone with a girl that only now introduced herself as Nancy, despite the fact she was already very acquainted with his form.

* * *

Buffy was angry, a little bit at William, but mostly at herself. She liked him, she knew it, but that was okay he was a nice guy. Only problem was that the little bit of like she had for him seemed to be growing and that scared the blonde more than she was comfortable with.

Being scared made Buffy angry for allowing herself to be weak and afraid of anything. A person can't run from their own feelings and her practised drinking these last few years meant drowning them was pretty impossible too. If only there was a way to clear her mind, lose all rational thought just for a moment. Buffy smirked at the idea that popped into her mind. To get over William all she had to do was get under someone else, she surmised, and it wasn't as if this place wasn't just full of gorgeous specimens she could take for a test drive.

"Hello darlin'" a tall dark stranger winked at her, "You wanna dance?"

"Yeah" Buffy nodded as she looked him over, "Definitely up for the dancing"

* * *

"Er, Nancy?" William said nervously as she pinned him to the wall and nibbled his ear lobe, "It's not that you're not a very nice girl because I'm certain that you are but..."

"I don't have to be a nice girl" she giggled, whispering in his ear, "I could be a bad girl if you want me to be... Do you want that, Spike?" she asked, moving to kiss his neck.

William was somewhere between enjoying himself and feeling awful about what was happening. This was not how he'd planned on the evening going, although truth be told he had very little idea about how it would go. He had thought he'd be spending time with Buffy though, and the thought she'd invent some ridiculous name for him and then leave him to the mercy of an apparent nymphomaniac had never entered his head even once.

"Hey, you!" a deep voice yelled suddenly and Nancy jumped back from Spike as if she'd been scalded, "I'm talkin' to you, Bleach-Boy!" a very rough looking biker-type man complete with tattoos and various piercing shouted as he approached, "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing with my girl!" he demanded and William wished the floor would just swallow him now and have done with it.

"I didn't mean to be doing anything" he said nervously, "She was... she seemed to want me to do... something, but I didn't and..."

"You expect me to believe she came onto you, you sod!" the biker said angrily.

William didn't know what to say, it seemed to him no matter what excuse he made he was about to get pummelled into the ground. It wasn't as if he'd never been beaten up before, the bullies at school and even University had given him more bruises than he'd care to count, but this was a big deal. If this guy decided to get physical, William knew he could end up dead.

"Look, the thing is..." he smiled as best he could, taking a couple of tentative steps forward until he was right in front of the man who was apparently Nancy's boyfriend. The larger man didn't notice how William had pulled a stool from the bar over with his foot. In one movement he reached down for the seat, swung it over his head and clocked the biker over the head with it. To William's shock and horror the large man fell to the floor, completely out cold.

"Butch!" Nancy cried, kneeling down beside her dazed boyfriend and William looked around frantically for Buffy. He needed to get out of here, before 'Butch' came to and decided to get some revenge.

"Where the bloody hell are you?" the bleached blond muttered to himself as he stood at the edge of all the writhing bodies that were apparently dancing. It was then he spotted Buffy, in the middle of the crowd, surrounded by four or five men who seemed to be taking turns at 'dancing' with her if it could be called that. It looked much more like simulated sex to William and he didn't like to see Buffy behave this way. She was better than this, but he didn't have time to think about it right now, he was on borrowed time.

"Buffy!" he called, pushing his way through the crowds to get to her.

"Hey, Spike" she grinned, liking the new name she'd given him, "You wanna dance now?"

"No" he said firmly, grabbing her wrist when her arm reached out to him, "We have to go"  
"But I was just getting started" she complained, a very suggestive look on her face as she eyed her circle of admirers.

"Please, luv" Spike begged of her, "If we don't get out of here now I might very well be leaving in an ambulance... or a body bag" he said grimly as he pulled her off the dancefloor and she called to her group of 'friends' to call her anytime.

"What is going on?" she demanded to know as they got outside the front door and into the cool night air, "I was having a good time and you completely embarrassed me!" she said, quite angry about it by now.

"There was a bit of trouble" William admitted, walking away from the club at double speed.

"Trouble?" Buffy frowned as she hurried to keep up with him, "How'd you get into trouble?"

"The nympho-girl you left me with has a boyfriend" he snapped, "A bloke that's twice the size of me and fancied laying me out for touching his woman"

"Should we run faster?" she bit her lip trying not to laugh but William shook his head.

"I stalled him for while" he admitted, "I sort of hit him... around the head... with a bar-stool"

Buffy burst out laughing at that, finding the image in her head highly amusing. Still it was pretty cool that Spike had stood up for himself.

"So you didn't just stall him you kinda stooled him too?" she giggled and even Spike had to give in and laugh then.

"'S not bloody funny" he told her, desperately trying not to chuckle and finding it impossible to keep a straight face.

"Oh, it really is, Spike" she told him, grabbing onto his arm as doubling over with laughter almost sent her tumbling to the ground.

"That name going to stick now is it?" William asked her more seriously and Buffy looked up at him, suddenly finding she could push her laughter down to a mere smile.

"Yeah, I like Spike" she grinned, realising that it was a little less scary right now to have feelings for this guy, "So we headed back to the hotel?" she checked as they continued to walk arm in arm.

"I s'pose" Spike agreed, "I'm sorry I spoiled things"  
"That's okay" Buffy shrugged, "We can still have fun tonight" she told him with a look in her eyes that Spike didn't need to see to know it was there.

As much as he liked her, he really didn't like the idea of her offering herself to him like she had with those men in the club. He wanted to treat her properly, with respect like she deserved, though it seemed she had no plans to make it easy for him.

To Be Continued...


	13. The Game

A/N : Thanx to funkydevil206, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Brunettepet, Spuffy2008, wicked-angel-413, ash, u2fan2005, Spikez-babe91, Sammi, Freezyboncoolipants, spuffygrl, Moluvsnumber17, Ape18, and XspikeXbuffyX, for all the reviews. It's great to know that a story I so enjoy writing is so popular with those that read it.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 13 - The Game

"So, when you said fun" William asked nervously, "What exactly did you mean?" he checked as he and Buffy went into the hotel room together. A part of him thought he'd rather not know but to be forewarned was to be forearmed at least.

"I dunno" Buffy shrugged, wandering around the room aimlessly, "I didn't have a fully mapped out plan, that would negate the fun" she rolled her eyes.

"Of course" William agreed half-heartedly, deliberately going to the opposite side of the room as he took off the leather coat and laid it on the bed.

"Ooh, mini-bar" Buffy exclaimed suddenly, opening up the cabinet and checking out the situation, "There's more spirit in here than the Sunnydale High Cheerleading squad" she laughed as she pulled various mini bottles out and brought them over to where William sat.

"Thirsty, luv?" he asked with a smile as he counted at least a dozen small bottles.

"No, these aren't for plain old drinking" she told him with a look and William caught on at last.

"Cos that wouldn't be fun?" he guessed.

"Hey, you're learning" Buffy grinned, fetching more bottles til she'd pretty much emptied the cabinet, "You ever play Truth or Dare, Spike?" she asked as she lined them up on the table by the bed.

"Only once" he admitted, "and I was six at the time"  
Buffy laughed at his confession, as she finished putting all the alcohol in a line.

"Okay, well this is something me and Faith came up with" she explained, "Not Truth or Dare so much as Truth or Drink"

"I think I understand" Spike nodded half relieved to know she wanted to play instead of 'play', and half-panicked because he knew there was a lot he wasn't particularly comfortable with talking about and he really wasn't too good at holding his drink either.

"Okay" Buffy smiled almost dangerously as she pulled her legs up and crossed them lotus style. She was going to have some fun with this guy now. She wanted to know him, know everything about him and she was fairly certain this was one way to do it. He might not feel comfortable answering probing questions whilst sober but the more he declined to answer the more he would drink, and under the influence of alcohol people would usually admit all kinds of things that would usually be held back. Buffy knew she could drink a lot more than William before she got too talky, though she doubted he'd ask her anything she wasn't prepared to answer, he was far too polite.

"Tell you what, I'll give you a head start" she told him, noting how nervous he looked, "Ask me anything"

"Anything, eh?" William thought about it carefully before going for a question that had been playing on his mind this past half hour, "If I hadn't have got in trouble at the club, would you have slept with one of those men you were dancing with?" he said, mostly looking down and not at her face. She looked a little stunned but covered well.

"I dunno" she shrugged, really not having expected something like that to be his first question, "I guess. Why didn't you go with that girl?" she shot back, her gaze intense, "Before, when you didn't know she had a boyfriend and she wanted it so bad, why didn't you?" William looked at her for a long moment wondering how she could ask such a question.

"Because I don't use people" he told her evenly, "and because..." his sentence tailed off and he shook his head as he leant over to the table and picked up the nearest miniature bottle. Buffy watched as he took off the lid and downed the whole thing, coughing just slightly when he was finished.

"You didn't have to do that" she told him as he threw the bottle onto the bed beside them.

"Didn't tell you the whole truth, pet" he shrugged, "Rules are rules"

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him, wondering what he was holding back and planning to ask again later. If he kept drinking like that he'd soon be drunk enough to say anything.

"So tell me, luv, just how many men you reckon you've had?" he asked without a hint of embarrassment. That alcohol was clearly kicking in faster than Buffy had anticipated but then he had managed two bourbons at the club before this.

"I don't exactly keep score" she told him, "Do you?"

"That wasn't a proper answer" Spike smirked, tossing a bottle to her, "And in answer to yours, luv, no I don't"

"That wasn't my question!" she protested, when she finished downing the shot and tossed the bottle down next to his on the bedclothes.

"Too late" Spike argued, "Now where were we... oh yeah, you wanted to have fun, well, so do I. Let's get to the good stuff already" he smirked. Buffy giggled at the expression. She really liked William, but even more so now in this new Spike persona. The clothes made him look even hotter than usual and the alcohol loosened him up enough to make him more fun. Tonight looked set to be a good time.

* * *

"Whose turn is it?" Buffy asked, trying to figure out how the zip on her boot worked and finding it a very difficult task since she seemed to have three legs on her left side all of a sudden, at least it looked that way to her.

"Not a bloody clue, pet" Spike answered from his position laid out flat on his back on the bed, "but you go, ladies first and all that"

"Okay" Buffy nodded, thinking hard about her next question and giggling when she got the perfect one. She leaned back on the bed so she was beside Spike and whispered in his ear.

"How old were you when you lost it?" she asked and Spike looked at her strangely.

"Lost what?" he asked, blinking hard to try to get her face into focus. Buffy rolled her eyes at what she considered to be a stupid question.

"It!" she repeated, "Y'know, your... innocence" she said pointedly, bursting into fits of childish giggles when his eyes went wider than dinner plates.

"Oh" he said, seeming quite startled.

Buffy stopped giggling when he looked away and something occurred to her.

"Spike?" she said, leaning right over him so she could see his face, "Spike, have you never...?"

"I want a drink" came his answer as he managed to pull himself up to a sitting position, almost head butting her in the process but missing by just a fraction of an inch, "Where've the bloody bottles gone?" he complained when he found the table empty.

"Er, the bottles are here" Buffy said helpfully, gesturing to the spot on the bed and the trail on the floor, "but they're all the way empty" she sighed, "Guess that means no more drink, just truth" she pointed out and Spike winced at the implication.

"You're gonna think I'm an idiot" he said sadly, as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Nooo" Buffy stretched out the world as she scrambled to sit beside him, "You're a nice guy" she nodded firmly and he snorted.

"Yeah, nice bloody guy" he complained, "Nice bloody guy that never even..." he didn't have to say it, she already knew and she felt bad for him in one respect and terribly envious in another. He still had his innocence, was probably saving himself for a woman he really loved like fairytales and romance novels.

"I was fifteen" Buffy found herself admitting, not really knowing why.

"I didn't ask" Spike pointed out, despite the fact the revelation coming as a bit of a shock.

"I know" she confirmed, continuing on with her story anyway, "His name was Parker and I met him at this club. Me and Faith shouldn't have been there but she easily passed for twenty-one and she made me up to look the same. He was so nice, kept telling me how beautiful I was and how he felt we had this big connection or whatever" she laughed humourlessly at her own stupid behaviour back then, "Faith was sixteen and already a pro, guys were all over her all the time and I so wanted that, to be loved like it seemed she was, so I went with Parker" she shrugged, wishing there were more bottles of alcohol to be had right now, "Faith made it sound like this awesome experience but to be honest it was just awkward and painful and I wondered why anybody bothered at all. Faith laughed when I told her that. I daren't mention how I cried right after, and how I kept wishing Parker would call me. He never did, and Faith convinced me the next time, the next guy, it'd be better"

"Was it?" Spike found himself asking, though he wasn't sure why. It was like one of those road traffic accidents that is terribly tragic but you can't help but look. It was a horrific story really, but somehow he felt the need to ask more.

"I dunno" Buffy shrugged, "I don't even remember who he was anymore, it just became something I do, like drinking..." her voice trailed away and she fought tears, feeling so ridiculous about it. She wasn't usually such a sad drunk, she was a happy dancing on the tables type girl when she drank excessive amounts but now, dragging up all her past adventures, it just made her feel wretched and terribly worthless sitting here next to such a wonderful man.

"Buffy..." he said, reaching to put his hand on hers, but she snatched it away and looked off in the opposite direction, seriously wondering about her sanity and why she'd just confessed all that she had.

"I should go" she said eventually, getting off the bed, glad her legs held her relatively steady as she went towards the door, "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess" she said absently as she left the room and William watched her go with troubled eyes.

She'd been through such a lot, what with her parents dying, being thrown in with her aunt and uncle and terrible influence of a cousin. Used by men, who taught her to be the same, a user. She thought sex was nothing but mindless fun, and love didn't seem to enter into that or any other aspect of her life. He wondered if since her mother and father's passing if anyone had even told her they loved her, given her a hug, made the world a little less bad. His life was far from perfect, his father less than great, but he always knew he had Dru, and his uncle Giles, he was never completely alone.

Before he knew where he was he'd stumbled through the bathroom that joined his room to hers, and was tapping on the other door.

"Buffy?" he said cautiously as he came through into the room.

She was lying on the bed still fully clothed, tear tracks marring her pretty face with mascara that'd been dragged along in the flow of salt. She was sleeping peacefully now at least, looked as if she hadn't a care in the world, but Spike knew different. It must have been the drink that gave him the confidence he realised as he stepped closer to her and carefully pulled himself up onto the bed beside her.

Gently he pushed her blonde hair off her face and placed a feather-light kiss on her forehead.

"Wish I could make it better, luv" he whispered in the dim light, "Wish I could take back all the suffering you had to go through..." his words trailed away to nothing as he settled down beside her, his body not quite touching hers as his eyes fell shut and sleep claimed him too.

To Be Continued...


	14. The Next Day

A/N : Since the previous update on this was so short and this chapter kinda ended itself pretty short too you're getting two updates pretty close together - aren't you just all so lucky? Big thanx to the dedicated readers and wonderful reviewers of this fic, namely; EMBER91, Moluvsnumber17, Ape18, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Baby Girl Geller-Green, wicked-angel-413, Life'sSlayer, Freezyboncoolipants, EilA, Spikez-babe91, Brunettepet, spiked-gurl, Inuyasha-xcgirl, and spuffygrl, on the previous chapter. You are all so kind and complimentary - you guys make me blush and everything! Love all your sweet comments though - keep on rockin'!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 14 - The Next Day

Spike woke to a regular thump in the whole of his head. Partly it was the pain of having drunk so much the night before but he was fairly certain the steady beat was also audible. Music perhaps, he realised as he forced his eyes to open. He was still laying on the bed where he'd fallen asleep a few hours ago but where Buffy once was there was just an empty space.

As Spike replayed the night before in all it's glory he winced when he realised all that had been said. He'd admitted to his lack of bedroom experience, and though that was nothing to be ashamed of he sort of wished that Buffy didn't know. In her circle of friends he had no doubt he'd be a laughing stock, making it all the way to nineteen without ever being with a woman that way. Still, Buffy hadn't laughed at him, she'd just imparted a tale of her own that Spike wished he hadn't heard. Her cousin Faith was quite clearly a bad influence and her Aunt and Uncle could not be trusted to bring up children properly.

Spike sighed and tried to sit up though his head swam when he did so. He couldn't recall ever getting drunk before and therefore a hangover was yet another new experience he was having on this trip, though this one he felt he could well do without.

The music came clearer now, apparently from the bathroom to which the door was slightly ajar. Carefully Spike swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood on unsteady feet. He staggered a little towards the door and pushed it open more until he spotted Buffy, her back to him as she tidied up her face in the mirror and brushed her teeth, all the while bobbing along to the music from the radio in the corner.

The fact she was wearing nothing but her underwear and one of Spike's own shirts did not escape his notice, but it seemed his presence in the doorway did not get her attention at all as she continued with what she was doing.

It was a minute later when she turned around that she saw him there. He was too far over to be reflected in the mirror and she jumped a little when she suddenly realised he was there.

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously, hating herself immediately for sounding more bitchy than she meant to. Spike either didn't notice her harsh tone or didn't care right now.

"Watching you Walk Like An Egyptian" he said trying not to smirk as he gestured towards the radio.

"Oh" Buffy almost blushed as she looked anywhere but at him, "My parents used to like it, The Bangles in general, although I think my Mom was all about the music, my Dad just liked the girls" she smiled at the memory as she walked over to the radio and switched it off. Spike's eyes followed her everywhere and she found it was quite disconcerting. Though usually she liked to attract the attention of any and all men, it was something about the way only he looked at her that made her feel strange, but kind of in a good way.

"Er, I borrowed your shirt" she told him pointlessly, "First thing I could find to change into"

"'S fine, pet" he told her, suddenly feeling as uncomfortable as she looked, "I was, er, just wondering if we had any aspirin or something. Bloody head's killing me" admitted and Buffy smiled.

"You're so not used to the drinking" she said as she came towards the door, instead of pushing past him waiting for him to actually move out her way.

When she'd woken up this morning and found him lying beside her, momentarily she'd wondered what had happened. She drank often enough that she lost very little of her memory by the morning and hardly ever had a hangover. His arm had been across her waist, holding her gently when her eyes opened this morning. They were both fully clothed and on top of the covers so her memory wasn't playing tricks, they hadn't done anything.

Buffy felt like both laughing and crying when she'd looked over at the sleeping man beside her. She couldn't remember ever spending the night in the same room as a guy without something happening. All they'd done was talk and sleep, he'd not tried to take advantage of her and she'd not tried anything with him either, and it was... nice.

She was standing by the bed rifling through the contents of her bag when his hand landed on her shoulder and she physically jumped. She turned too fast and he instinctively reached for her so she didn't fall.

"I'm sorry" he said softly, hands still on her, "I didn't mean to startle you"

"It's okay" she breathed, "I... I guess I should get dressed" she said glancing down and up again. His eyes were too blue to look at and his hands on her body felt like fire. If this is what he could do to her with a look and innocent touch... Buffy dare not finish the thought she was having and quickly pulled herself away from him.

"Buffy" he said as she turned and watched her walk across the room, "About last night..."

"What about it?" she asked, as if she didn't know, "We went out, we got a little drunk, we talked, then we fell asleep"

"We did" he agreed, "but..."

"Spike" she sighed, interrupting him, "Whatever was said yesterday, it can't be taken back. We just... we won't talk about it again, deal?" she said hoping to make him feel better as well as herself.

"Deal" he nodded, knowing now that she too remembered everything that had been said and was not especially glad to have shared her secrets either.

* * *

"Giles House" Willow chirped a she picked up the phone, "Hello?" she frowned when nobody answered. A moment later then line went dead and she hung up herself, still looking confused.

"Willow?" Wesley said as he approached her, "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Er, yeah" she replied with a slight smile, "Just a weird phonecall. Nobody spoke and then the line went dead"  
"A wrong number, I suppose" Wes guessed as he slid his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"Wesley, stop" she giggled, pushing him away half-heartedly as he tried to pull her close and kiss her, "What if Mr Giles saw us?"

"I suspect he'd be quite jealous" Wes smirked, "After all you are the most beautiful woman in the building, and you're all mine"

"I am" she agreed with a smile, "Yours, I mean, not the other part" she added quickly, blushing the colour of her hair, "Anyway, Giles is a little edgy lately, I don't wanna get him mad"

"That would have something to do with Buffy, I assume" Wesley said as he walked with his girl down the hall, "I don't know what his problem is really"

"I think he's more worried about William" Willow sighed, "Buffy might be kind of a bad influence on him, and he's real worried Will might turn out like his father"

"Have you never met him?" Wes checked, "His father, I mean"

"No, Ethan Rayne stopped coming here years ago" Willow told him, "Way before I moved here. I've heard Mr Giles talk about him though, he's not a nice guy"

"Well, I doubt very much William has it in him to be anything but a 'nice guy'" Wesley assured his girlfriend, hugging her close, "He's hardly the tough type, is he?"

* * *

"Ouch" Spike winced as someone slammed their room door shut just as he came out of his own. His head was still banging despite the aspirin he'd taken an hour ago. Buffy smiled as she followed him into the hallway.

"Aaw, poor baby, still suffering?" she asked, stifling a grin.

"You might smirk, pet" Spike said, making a face, "Bloody hurts this does"

"I'm sorry" Buffy apologised, trying to look like she meant it, "I guess it is kind of my fault in a way. I knew you weren't used to it, I shouldn't have let you drink so much"

"Newsflash, Buffy" Spike told her, "I can take care of myself, I'm a big boy y'know" he said, though he was touched by her concern. He was also very glad she hadn't picked up on his accidental double entendre.

They went down to the dining room and got some breakfast, talking a little about neutral subjects as they ate their food and drank coffee.

"So, what's the plan for today then?" Spike asked as he left a tip on the table for the waitress.

"I dunno" Buffy shrugged, "I was thinking about going out again tonight, if you want to?" she suggested, "Though maybe a different club where that guy you knocked out won't find you?"

"An excellent plan" Spike smirked as they got up from the table, "Though that doesn't solve the problem of what we're going to do with the rest of today. You fancy sight seeing or what?"

"Depends on how good the tour guide is" she said with a smile, glad the awkwardness of earlier was dissipating now.

"Oh, he's excellent" Spike told her, continuing the joke, "Born and brought up here, knows the place like the back of his hand. So what do you say, pet?" he asked her, holding out a hand, "Wanna see what my town has to offer?"

"Yeah" Buffy nodded, putting her hand in his and grinning, "Show me what you've got"

* * *

"Giles House" Xander said as he picked up the phone, "Hello?" he frowned when nobody answered. A moment later the line went dead and he hung up, still looking confused, "Weird" he said to himself as he went back to his work.

To Be Continued...


	15. The Passion Part I

A/N : Big thanx as always to my fantastic reviewers; spuffymonica, Ember, Spuffy2008, Ape18, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Brunettepet, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Spikez-babe91, Freezyboncoolipants, wicked-angel413, Daniel Wesley Rydell, spiked-gurl, Princess-of-Magic 3, souled-angel, Moluvsnumber17, and spuffygrl.

As far as the mysterious phone calls are concerned, some of your guesses were right and some were wrong. An explanation will come, as will some major Spuffy, but you might have to wait a while for both those things - sorry! This contents of this chapter and what will be the next one was all supposed to be one chapter by my imagination went wild and everyting kinda grew. I'll try to get the second half of this double chapter posted for you as soon as possible!  
_  
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 15 - The Passion (Part I)

"Where too next then, luv?" Spike asked as he and Buffy sat by the lake in St James Park with an ice-cream cone each.

"Uh, how about nowhere?" she said slipping off one sandal and inspecting her aching feet for blisters, "My God I don't think I ever walked so much in my life"

"London's bigger than you thought, I s'pose" Spike smirked as the blonde leaned back on the bench and shielded her eyes from the bright sun that bounced off the water.

"Bigger" she nodded, "Better too, kinda pretty. Sitting here with the sun and the water, it's almost like back home"

"You miss it?" Spike asked with interest as he watched her looking at the view.

"A little" Buffy shrugged, "I dunno I thought I'd miss it way more than I do. Being here with you is kind of distracting me" she smiled, as she turned to look at him and found he was much closer than she'd expected.

"That a good thing?" he asked more quietly than he meant to and Buffy found it disturbing but almost in a nice way that she couldn't tear her eyes away from his.

"I don't know" she said eventually, "I think..." she wasn't sure where the sentence was going now she'd begun. It ended up getting no longer as the ice cream from her cone dripped onto her hand, the coldness of it making her jump.

"Oh, damn!" she said, standing up and holding her arm out away from her as melting ice-cream dripped down her hand and wrist.

Spike tried desperately not to laugh but she looked so ridiculous, holding the cone at arms length as if it were a bomb or something.

"It's not funny!" Buffy protested, though she too had to bite her lip to keep from laughing about it. She walked away a few steps and put the rest of the cone in the trash can. When she turned back she was cursing and studying her top.

"I got it on my clothes too" she complained, and Spike was a little put off by having his attention drawn to her chest, "This is probably ruined"

"Sorry, pet" her friend sighed, throwing away his own half-melted snack too, "'S my fault for suggesting ice-cream when it was this warm, and then being a distraction" he smirked, "Tell you what though, now we have you back on your feet, what say we grab a taxi, I'll take you somewhere I know you'll love" he said as they started walking again.

"Okay" she nodded uncertainly as they made their way out of the park.

* * *

"Here we are, pet" Spike announced as he and Buffy got out of the cab together, "This is Oxford Street"

"Wow" the blonde said, looking all around, "That's a lot of big stores, for England anyway"

"And when confronted with such an amount of 'large stores'" he quoted, "I'm sure you can find use for a fair amount of cash" he said as he dug in his pocket and produced a wallet.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked, the smile falling from her face as she realised what he was doing, "I don't want your money"

Spike stopped abruptly as he realised he'd offended her, though that hadn't been his intention at all.

"Buffy, I wasn't... I wanted to get you a gift of some kind" he explained, sounding so very much like William and not a bit like Spike right now, "I don't have any idea where to begin in choosing something so I thought you could get something yourself and I could pay for it"

Buffy took a long look at the man before her as they stood their in the middle of the busy street.

"Why?" she asked eventually, "What did I do to earn a gift?"

Spike shook his head, not really understanding her attitude.

"You didn't 'earn' a gift, Buffy" he told her, "I just, I want you to know that I appreciate your, well, friendship I suppose, and... I feel as if you've given me so much just by being here, I wanted to give you something...besides it was my fault your top got ruined" he reminded her, not looking at the item he spoke of.

Buffy smiled at that, and at his childish sort of innocence as his eyes went to the ground. He was clearly embarrassed now and she didn't like to think she had a part in that. He was a really sweet guy and he'd done nothing but be her friend, just like he'd said. Besides she was sure she could find a couple of things down this street he could buy her if he really wanted to. What kind of girl would she be if she turned down free clothes?

"I'm sorry" she said eventually, finding it felt a little strange, those words were so foreign to her, "I didn't mean to be ungrateful or whatever" she explained, "If you're all set on getting me a gift then thankyou" she said, leaning in close to him and placing a kiss on his cheek. Though she pulled away again a moment later, she didn't move enough to put any real distance between them. Inside she was screaming for him to kiss her now, properly and with all the passion he possessed, but that was the whole point about William, he'd never do that, it wasn't the proper thing to do.

"Er, let's go shopping then" he said with an awkward smile, backing off fast.

"Yeah" Buffy sighed, forcing a happy look onto her own face too, to cover the disappointment she hated herself for feeling, "Let's go"

* * *

Buffy stood in front of the mirror at the hotel feeling strangely uncomfortable. The top and shoes she wore had been bought for her, gifts from a friend which should be simple enough. Except nobody really ever bought gifts for Buffy, not counting the junk her Aunt and Uncle got her for Christmas and her Birthday, and a few things Faith had admitted to stealing on her behalf. Anything Buffy owned she'd pretty much bought herself and she rarely had enough spare cash to be getting anything fancy.

Despite a small argument she'd allowed Spike to get her a stylish pair of black high-heeled shoes and a fire-engine red top that given the very small amount of material it was made of should not have cost half so much as it did.

Buffy adjusted her short skirt and smirked at her reflection in the glass. She looked good, and she knew it, but a tiny voice in the back of her mind was saying she looked awful. She didn't know why, at least on the surface she didn't. Deep down she knew that voice was a mixture of her own opinion and Spike's influence. It was the way he looked at her when she'd originally picked out this top and said it was the one she wanted if he didn't mind. He was so used to her wearing revealing clothing, the stunned look in his eyes was barely noticeable and the embarrassment almost invisible. Instead she saw vague disappointment and a little dislike. He didn't approve of her exhibitionist behaviour, she was sure, and whilst he had agreed to go a little wild, changing his own looks and attitude, she was still too much for him. He wasn't comfortable when she was over the top in any way and Buffy wondered why it bothered her.

Her behaviour was deliberate to catch attention if she was honest, to show she didn't care, to hell with the world and everyone in it. Still, that little voice in the back of her mind was telling her to tone down her make-up and put on a different top that covered more skin and she couldn't help considering it for a moment.

A knock on her door made her mind up for her and she stayed as she was, answering the door and finding Spike waiting on the other side, in that first outfit she'd picked out for him. They matched, both in black and red, almost as if they'd been designed as a pair to be always together. That thought made a strange look appear on Buffy's face and Spike asked her what was wrong.

"Er, nothing" she smiled, shaking her head, "Just thinkin' something weird, it's not important" she laughed it off as stupidity as they set off for the club. Imagining her and Spike being together, like some kind of fairytale was insane. She knew he'd never want her enough to really be with her. Like all guys, her physical appearance made her attractive to him, and despite the fact he was too spineless to try anything, she knew sex appeal was all that made him want to spend time with her, it had to be. What else was there about her to attract anybody's attention?

Spike was frowning as he and Buffy hailed a cab and were driven to the other side of town, where night-clubs full of flashing lights and booming music beckoned. There was something off about her tonight, she'd hardened against him again. Sometimes when she smiled at him or their eyes inadvertently met across the table, it was as if he could see right into her soul, a beautiful woman inside and out. Other times, like now, she looked right through him as if he wasn't there, and snapped at the slightest thing, just as hard and sharp as she had been the first day they'd met. He didn't like her so much this way, not now he knew she could be different. Of all the insane things he knew he was falling for her, despite the fact her moods blew with the wind and she was so incredibly out of his league.

Spike resolved to put all such thoughts to the back of his mind for a while. They were having a night out, it was supposed to be fun apparently. Pushing all his deep notions away, he paid the cab driver what they owed and got out of the car with Buffy. She was through the door of the club before he could blink and seemed desperate to get some alcohol inside her. Spike was less keen but got himself a bourbon and made it last a little longer than those he'd downed so quickly last night. Drunkenness had it's upsides, but hangovers were just all kinds of bad that he'd rather not experience again any time soon.

Buffy wasn't paying much attention to what Spike was drinking or anything he was doing in fact. Today she'd come so close to being close to him, actually wishing he would want to be close to her. Sometimes he seemed to like her, sometimes she wondered if he was just hanging around with her because it was better then being alone. Whatever his reasons for spending time with her, they were not the reasons Buffy wished they were. Deep down she was still the little girl that believed in happy ever after endings, but for the most part she was too tough, too experienced and knowing of the world to believe in such things.

Still, hanging around with Spike and getting nowhere was making her feel things she couldn't handle alone. She needed a man, she needed the kind of physical release she could only get by being with someone in a way she knew she never could be with Spike. The club she sat in now was crawling with guys she'd happily take for a spin and from the way several of them were looking at her, it seemed they wouldn't decline if she offered.

"I'm gonna dance" she said vaguely to Spike as she hopped down from the bar stool and disappeared amongst the writhing bodies on the dancefloor. As Spike watched her go he didn't notice immediately that another young woman had taken her place at his side.

"Hey there, sexy" her voice brought him out of his Buffy-induced daze and Spike blinked at the woman before him. She was good looking, he realised, but really nothing special, looking just like all the other sheep that surrounded them both in the club. Spike smirked to himself as he realised that all this exhibitionist behaviour that Buffy and these other people were so fond of seemed to have nothing to do with standing out at all, but more about following a crowd. They were sheep and as much as he appreciated their love of freedom from constraint, he pitied them for their foolishness in really believing they were being themselves. He was fairly certain that many a man and woman that surrounded him were as fake a 'wild person' as he himself was.

"You want a drink, pet?" Spike asked the girl beside him, thinking she at least seemed sober enough he shouldn't get accused to taking advantage of her should she get touchy feely with him.

"That all depends" she told him with a sly smile, "My mother always taught me not to accept things from strangers. I should at least know your name before I accept a drink" she smirked.

"Name's Spike" he told her with a similar smile, "And you?"

"Charlie" she told him, pushing her curly blonde hair over her shoulder, "Mum's got a thing for old authors and stuff, named my sister Emily after the one that wrote Wuthering Heights, and I copped Charlotte bein' the sister, but it's too posh, don't suit me" she said, picking up the bottle of beer she'd ordered and taking a large swig, "Guessin' your Mum didn't christen you Spike either?"

"Your guess'd be right, luv" he agreed, half paying attention to Charlie, half watching Buffy as she gyrated along with two muscley blokes in the middle of the floor, "...know what I mean?" Charlie said as he tuned back into her voice and Spike quickly tried to answer to make it look as of he had been listening, which of course he hadn't.

"What's her name?" she asked, realising his problem, "Don't give me that look" she smiled when he looked like he might deny it, "There's a woman in your head that you'd rather be with right now than me, yeah?" she checked and Spike sighed.

"Sorry, pet, you're not wrong" he admitted, downing the rest of his bourbon and ordering another. As Buffy took hold of one of her dancing partners hands and led him across the club floor to the fire exit, Spike suddenly felt like getting very drunk, very fast.

"Bad break up?" Charlie asked, "Cos y'know I don't mind being rebound girl, if it'd help" she winked. Spike wasn't sure whether the little laugh she gave meant that was a joke or not but he took it as such so as not to let himself blush.

"Not a break up" he sighed a moment later, "She's not even mine, I just..."

"Wish she was?" Charlie guessed, "Must be bloody stupid if she's turned you down. She's not got a dog and a white stick has she?" she smirked, taking another drink.

"She doesn't see me for what I am..." Spike explained, "It's all about appearances with her, attitudes and image... Sometimes I feel like she's really talking to me, trusts me and everything, then she puts the barriers back up and everything's a fight and... Sorry, luv" he apologised yet again to the blonde beside him, "Don't s'pose you expected all this when you sat yourself down there, did you?"

"Maybe not" Charlie agreed, "But that doesn't mean it's a nasty surprise to find a nice looking fella that's also got feelings and a brain" she told him, "Somethin' tells me you're here cos she dragged you, or cos you think she'll like you better all dressed up in your leather and drinkin' this crap" she said, fingering his glass on the bar, "Maybe she's not worth the effort"

Spike thought about that and laughed out loud. He barely knew Buffy, in real terms, they'd known each other such a short time, and yet he'd told her things he'd never discussed with anyone else, and he knew for a fact a few things she'd shared had been truths that no-one else had ever heard from her.

"Despite all the things I know about her that I don't like" he sighed "they're out-weighed a hundred fold by the things I love about her" he stopped speaking abruptly when he realised the word he'd used there - love.

"You feel that way about her, she must be worth somethin'" Charlie said with a shake of her head, "Makes me wonder though, if she deserves you"

Spike didn't answer her then, and she followed his eyes across the room as a dishevelled blonde girl and a butch-looking brunette man came from the back alley. There was no mistaking what they'd just done and the pain Charlie saw in Spike's eyes when she glanced back at him left no doubt in her mind that this girl was the one he wanted.

As she watched, she caught the mystery blonde looking over at Spike. Something wasn't right about the way she stared at first him and then herself, a sort of surprised shock that he was sitting with another girl perhaps.

"Spike?" Charlie said, eyes still fixed on Buffy. Without waiting for an answer, and certain Buffy was watching, Charlie swung around and put her lips to Spike's, arms winding round his neck to hold him close as she kissed him with a fiery passion for several moments. When she pulled away and he looked at her with shock, Charlie just glanced over at Buffy and watched the colour drain from her face. She leaned in close to Spike's ear with a smile on her face.

"Don't give up on her" she whispered as she got up from her stool and walked away, without glancing back.

Spike watched her go, still trying to process what had happened. The look on Buffy's face told him she was stunned and not necessarily in a good way by what she'd just seen. Spike wondered vaguely if Charlie could have meant what it seemed like she did, that perhaps she thought Buffy did want him, and she was jealous of the two of them kissing. Spike shook his head as he went back to his drink, tearing his eyes away from the hazel pair that still watched him from the edge of the danceloor. As if Buffy would ever want him like that.

Across the floor, Buffy stood rooted to the spot, stunned to the core by what she had seen. The sight of Spike in a passionate lip lock with some unknown blonde was burned onto her retinas and she was shocked by how much it hurt. There was a nauseous kind of feeling in the pit of her stomach that had started to build when she was up against the back wall of the building with a guy she knew only as Tommy. Now it felt like her insides were being screwed into a ball, as her heart thumped slow and heavy as lead in her chest. Knowing the pain she felt was all down to a man as insignificant as William Rayne should be, made Buffy angry. Angry at him for making her feel this way, and angry at herself for caring.

In a fury she threw herself into the heaving crowd of dancers, hell bent on having a good time on her own, or with any man that caught her eye between now and the early hours.

_To Be Continued..._

**A/N2 : Charlie is a character I invented. I maybe could've used a Buffy or Angel character but Icouldn't think of anyone to fit the role that I hadn't already used, there aren't that many English girls in theJossverse**


	16. The Passion Part II

A/N : My updating cycle has gone completely wrong now but I needed to get the second half of this double chapter done! Thanx so much to my latest reviewers; Brunettepet, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Spuffy2008, spuffymonica, SpuffyChiclet, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, demonica mills, souled-angel, Spikez-babe91, sdfd, Hellmouth2, spiked-gurl, Dabiel Wesley Rydell, bella-lover, and Ape18. You all rock as always. See what you think of what happens next. I personally loved writing this chapter so I'm hoping you enjoy reading it!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 16 - The Passion (Part II)

Spike didn't know how much more of this he could take. It was late Thursday night and for the third evening running he was propping up the bar whilst Buffy spun like a whirling dervish on the dance-floor, gyrating in what he considered an inappropriate manner with any human being that possessed a Y chromosome.

Buffy spent her mornings with her own kind of hangover, which just seemed to make her grouchy more than anything else, and the rest part of the day trying to avoid Spike. When they did spend time together she was distant or just plain bitchy and as much as he'd like to put her in her place and tell her to stop being such a brat, Spike didn't have the energy to deal with her. This wasn't how he'd envisaged their relationship going, if you could call it that anyway. He'd thought they were having a friendship at least, even if nothing more ever came out of it. Spike's problem was, he'd realised he was falling in love with Buffy Summers three days ago, and now nothing made sense.

When he saw her disappear with other men and re-appear later, all rumpled and dishevelled, he knew precisely what had happened, and a small part of him hated the blonde that for the most part he thought he must been in love with. It confused the hell out if him, feeling so mixed up in his emotions for her, and it wasn't as if he could even tell her with her being so desperate to get away from him all the time.

Tonight was the final straw, Spike realised, as Buffy strutted away from her latest conquest and arrived at the bar to get a drink.

"Havin' fun, pet?" he asked her and she barely looked at him when she answered that yes, of course she was having a great time.

"More than I can say for myself" he shrugged, emptying his glass and standing up, "I'm going back to the hotel"

"Well, I'm not" Buffy snorted, "It's way too early yet"

"Suit yourself, luv" Spike told her with a further shrug as he made for the exit.

He couldn't care anymore, couldn't let himself. Whatever feelings he thought she might be developing for him were clearly not there or she just wouldn't act as she was, shagging random fellas every night whilst he got drunk because there was nothing better to do.

When he got back to the hotel, Spike went straight to his room and collapsed on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He felt so lost right now, because nothing made sense. Everything was simple before the Summer had rolled around. He was William Rayne, mother deceased, father best left unmentioned. He excelled in his studies and was an all round sensible young man. Now here he was, dressed in black and leather, with hair you could see several miles away, even in the dark. When he rang his Uncle to let him know he and Buffy were okay he mostly lied, and he was so much not himself even his name had changed.

Spike dragged himself up off the bed and looked in the mirror. This wasn't him, what he saw staring back at him. He wasn't Spike, he was William, and yet it wasn't the clothes or the hair that had made the real change. Something inside him had shifted and altered. Buffy had made all the changes, including the one deep inside his heart, and he wished he didn't feel this way but there was no way to help it.

"Falling in love with the silly bint" he muttered to himself, "Of all people why'd I have to..." he cursed himself, shutting his eyes and turning away from the glass. Staying here wasn't helping. He and Buffy had managed to be friends of a fashion back at Giles' House. Being here alone with her was making things happen that he couldn't deal with and he needed to get out.

The little excursion was over, Spike decided, as he pulled his bags out from under the bed and made sure all his belongings from the bathroom and the bedroom were present. He was just about to change out of his clothes and go to bed, had his T-shirt half off in fact, when the door of the bathroom swung open and Buffy stormed through from her own room.

"Hi" she said, stopping abruptly when she came face to bare chest with him. She'd looked so confident, almost angry when she'd come through the door but as she reached the man she'd come to see, who quickly pulled his top back on, she lost all her bravado, most especially when she noted his neatly packed bags on the floor.

"Hello, luv" Spike said, sitting on the edge of the bed, "You want something? Cos I was thinking of calling it a night, catching some shut eye"

"I was... I wanted to know what your problem was" Buffy snapped more harshly than she should've but he was really starting to piss her off now and through no fault of his own she knew that. Still, she couldn't stand this situation much longer, being trapped with him and knowing being close to him was just not an option. No matter how many other guys she went with nothing seemed to quash the want she had for Spike and it was slowly killing her.

"I don't have a problem as such, pet" he assured her, "I just, I'm bored I s'pose, had enough of hangin' round here and fancy to go home" he explained, "Reckon we should head back to the house tomorrow" he told her.

Though it was sort of what Buffy wanted to hear, it worried her too. Back at the house there were less people to take her mind off Spike, not that anyone seemed capable of that anyway. Still, at least they wouldn't be alone every day, trapped in the same small space and everything. A part of her so wanted to tell him how she felt, but Buffy really wasn't even sure herself. Of course the word love had passed through her brain a couple of times but she'd dismissed it quickly. She'd never been in love, not really, and apart from that family type love she'd had for her parents, Buffy didn't think she could ever say she'd really loved anyone at all in her whole life. There was no way a guy like William Rayne was going to get under skin, she promised herself. Though she was semi-aware that she might not keep that particular vow, she had another that she was determined not to break.

"We can't go tomorrow" she said suddenly, "We promised we'd visit Drusilla again and if we don't go on a Saturday it'll ruin her routine, right?" she reminded him. Spike frowned at that, feeling a little stunned. Not only had Buffy remembered his sister, she was being thoughtful enough to consider Dru's feelings over and above his or her own.

"Well, I... I s'pose we could wait one more day before we leave" he conceded, staring at the blonde, head tilting of it's own accord as he tried to read her expression, tried to figure out where amongst all the anger and apathy had come this tiny piece of compassion and caring for his sibling.

"What? Did I suddenly grow another head or something?" said Buffy, squirming uncomfortably. When he looked at her that way she felt as if Spike could see right into her soul, and though it kind of thrilled her in one way, mostly it just scared her to death. He was unlikely to find anything within her that he would like, she was sure.

"I, er, I was just wondering what I'm gonna do all day tomorrow" Spike lied, shaking his head slightly and looking away.

"Last day of our little trip... You wanna spend it together?" Buffy said, regretting it almost as soon as she'd asked the question.

All this time trying to avoid William had done her no good at all, and had only served to make her want him more. Maybe if they did more of the friend thing like they had been before it'd help. Though she'd probably never tell him, he was a good friend, and she was determined not to screw that up for the sake of, well, screwing.

"Never did quite finish that sight-seeing tour" Spike considered as Buffy sat down next to him, "S'pose we could do that"

"Sounds good" she smiled genuinely.

If they could find away to be friends, if only for the rest of the Summer, Buffy thought she might actually be able to deal. Of course she had no idea that Spike wanted to be so much more than just her friend.

* * *

Spike had been quite determined not to go out tonight, if Buffy wanted a final wild experience in London he planned to make her go alone, but they'd had such a great day together, he found when she offered him the chance to go with her he genuinely wanted to.

So far it was okay, she'd stayed at the bar with him and they'd had drinks and talked about all kinds of things, including visiting Drusilla and heading back to Giles' House. Spike really loved Buffy for caring about his sister, in fact he'd come to realise he just loved Buffy, end of sentence. Telling her, now there was a concept. As much as he'd like her to know that he cared, a part of him was frightened of scaring her off, and the larger part was just plain scared for himself. Feeling this strongly for a girl he'd known such a short time was frightening enough but someone like her, with all the experience she had of the opposite sex and her many trust issues where all humans but most especially men were concerned, it was a lot to take on.

"Y'know I just realised something terrible" Buffy commented, bringing Spike out of his deep and meaningful thoughts, "All these nights we've been out and I've never seen you dance once!" she told him.

"Not much of a dancer, pet" Spike told her quickly, "'Specially not this kind of... dancing" he said uncertainly as he glanced over at the dancefloor. It just wasn't dancing, at least he couldn't see how it was anything other than simulated sex, and if Buffy thought he and she were going to get into that, well then she had another think coming! Though he got embarrassed less often these days, that was one level he was not about to sink too.

Buffy didn't look impressed by his attitude but she let it go, a grumpy expression on her face until Spike suggested maybe she could find someone else to dance with.

"Not quite understandin' why nobody's come over and asked you yet" he said with a look and Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Er, the reason is sitting right here!" she smirked, gesturing at Spike, "You! You are the reason!" she explained, unable to believe he hadn't realised yet.

"Me?" he frowned, "Why, what am I doing?"

"You don't have to do anything" Buffy sighed, "Other guys just think that you and me are like, well, together" she explained, "And you look a little tough for anyone to want to fight with you"

"Yeah?" Spike smirked, liking the sound of that and sitting up a little straighter suddenly.

"Totally" Buffy nodded, "I mean, look at you, all with your tough guy coat and your bourbon drinking" she smiled, "Lookin' very much the manly man there, Mr Rayne" she winked and Spike was caught half way between being full of himself and embarrassed by her comments. The smirk that had found it's way onto his lips suddenly started to slide away as he caught sight of someone across the room that he'd rather not see.

"Oh bloody hell" he gasped, downing the rest of his drink and hopping down from his stool.

"What's up?" Buffy frowned, trying to follow his eyeline.

"As tough as I might look, pet, I'm no match for some of the larger blokes in here" he explained as he grabbed her hand and dragged her from her seat, "And that bugger over there is the one I laid out first night we were in town - I think he remembers me"

"Oh God" Buffy found that partially amusing but a little scary too since she'd rather not see Spike get his face smeared across the club floor. She hurried behind him, as they pushed through the writhing bodies that inhabited the club and were glad when they made it out into the fresh air of the night.

"You think he saw us leave?" Buffy asked, gasping a little from the sudden hurrying.

"I dunno" Spike shook his head, looking back, "Don't fancy takin' any chances though" he said with a look.

"Me either" Buffy agreed, and with their hands still joined they ran towards the hotel.

* * *

"That was truly wild" Buffy laughed as she and Spike fell into his room, both fairly out of breath from the running.

"God, I'm knackered" Spike admitted as he sat down on the edge of the bed with a thump, "Seriously thought I was fitter than that"

"I thought you were gonna pull my arm out the socket" Buffy complained, wincing a little as she put her left hand to her right shoulder and rolled the joint around.

"Sorry 'bout that, luv" Spike apologised as he got back to his feet and went over to her, "Just didn't want to lose you in the crowd was all" he told her as his hand followed hers to her shoulder and rubbed it absently.

"Feels better already" she said more softly than she meant to as her eyes and his both shifted from her arm and the pair met each others gaze. Subconsciously he stepped in closer to her, their bodies just inches apart, and Buffy's breath hitched in her throat as Spike's lips drifted closer to hers. They were both thinking how insane this was and yet how great it felt as they finally kissed, tentatively at first and then more deeply as their arms wound around each other.

"Buffy" Spike gasped between kisses, "I think I'm falling in love with you"

He was startled to realise that far from echoing his words, laughter had escaped the blonde's throat, and he pulled back sharply to look at her. He looked incredibly hurt and Buffy put a hand to her face as she backed up a step.

"I didn't think it was quite as amusing as all that, pet" Spike snapped, feeling deeply wounded by her reaction.

"I'm sorry" she said, though her laughter did not cease and Spike, feeling so much more like William now, seriously doubted that she'd meant the words.

"I suppose I should have expected this from you" he spat, turning away from her. How could he expect a girl like Buffy to actually want him, to take him seriously when he said he loved her. It'd seemed like the thing to do when they'd started kissing the way they had. He wanted her badly, and was so in love with her, telling her as well as showing her how he felt seemed logical, but apparently it was just a big joke to her.

"What did you want me to say?" she snapped back at him, her laughter finally subsiding and anger creeping into her tone, "That I love you too? That we'll live happily ever after? This is not a fairytale, William" she pointed out.

"I know that" he said, rolling his eyes as he turned back and realised she'd moved several feet away from him, "I'm not completely stupid" he reminded her.

"Well, you just made yourself look that way" she told him a she took a few more steps backwards and fumbled for the door handle behind her back.

"I can't believe you would..." Spike began, before realising something. Buffy had been really into that kiss he could feel it, and it was only when he said he loved her that she backed off and laughed at him. As she shifted almost nervously near the door, he suddenly understood.

"Oh, now I get it" he smiled slightly, "It scares you, doesn't it?"

"Me? Scared? Please!" Buffy scoffed, letting go of the door knob and folding her arms across her chest, "There are very few things in this world that scare me, and believe me when I tell you, William, that you are definitely not one of them" she told him firmly, emphasising his name as if it were some sort of insult or perhaps to highlight the lack of strength she believed he possessed.

"It's not me that you're afraid of, luv" Spike smirked, feeling very cocky all of a sudden as he approached her "it's what just happened. We kissed, I said I love you, and suddenly you can't get to the door fast enough" he pointed out as he reached her, "You're awful jumpy for someone who's calm"

"That's bull" Buffy told him, her back flat against the door as he stood right in front of her, blocking her from going anywhere.

"What's the matter, pet?" he asked, with a tilt of his head, "Afraid I might kiss you again? Scared you might feel something if I did?"

Of course he'd hit the nail right on the head with that comment, and Buffy hated to think he knew her so well that he could tell what she was thinking, why she was acting as she was. She was petrified of feeling something really deep for this guy when it was unlikely she would be anything more than a way for him to lose his innocence. He wouldn't be the first to say he loved her, just to get his wicked way.

With an angry look that came from pure fear and desperation to cover her true feelings, Buffy put her hands on his chest and pushed Spike back til he tripped on the edge of the bed and landed flat on his back. In moments she was on top of him, kissing him senseless before he had time to process what was happening. When she was forced to break for oxygen she remained on top of him, looking down on him with a glare.

"Still think I'm scared?" she challenged, without giving him chance to answer her, "You want me, Spike, just say the word. I'd take you for a test drive, it'd be my pleasure" she assured him, "but don't dress it up like something it's not" she snapped as she finally climbed off him and stormed towards the door.

"You think so little of me?" William called after her as he got to his feet, "You think I'd say I love you just to sleep with you?" he asked, feeling even more hurt by that than he had by her laughing at him before.

Buffy turned back by the door, sparing him once last glance as she answered him.

"You're a guy aren't you?" she shrugged, before walking out and letting the door slam shut behind her.

Spike stared dumbly after her, completely stunned by what had just happened. He'd like to be angry at Buffy for saying such things to him, for making him suffer as she was doing, but then he realised for a young girl to have opinions like these, there must be a reason - she'd been hurt so many times too.

To Be Continued...


	17. The Visitors

A/N : Wow, so many reviews! You guys rock. Big thanx to you all; Ember91, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Spuffy2008, Spikez-babe91, spuffymonica, Ape18, souled-angel, wicked-angel413, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, funkydevil206, Casey, Inuyasha-xcgirl, bella-lover, spuffygrl, spiked-gurl, Lifes-Slayer, Brunettepet, Moluvsnumber17, Daniel Wesley Rydell, and Freezyboncoolipants. Trust me, there will be sweet Spuffy love in this fic... eventually!_  
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 17 - The Visitors

Spike had lay awake most of the night thinking about what had happened with Buffy. Of all the reactions he'd anticipated when he told her he loved her, what he got was not at all what he'd expected. It was bad enough when she'd laughed at him, as if it were some kind of ridiculous suggestion that he could ever love her and that she should love him back in turn. What had hurt more was her assumption that despite all they'd shared and all they knew about each other, she would assume that when it came to love and sex he was just another man who wanted to use her. Of course he was not like all the others she had come across, when he said he loved her it wasn't because he wanted to get her into bed.

Though obviously he'd thought about them getting that close eventually, Spike's attraction to Buffy was not purely physical. She was as beautiful on the inside as the outside, at least he knew she could be when she let her guard down and showed what he saw to be her true self, kind and compassionate and everything he ever wanted in a woman but didn't realise it til he met her.

Buffy had been hurt so badly by so many, it was little wonder that new situations led to her lashing out to hide her fear. Whilst she had spoken so strongly, telling him she expected nothing more than a sex-obsessed animal because he was male, Spike wondered if it was as simple as just that or whether she was just afraid as he'd surmised. If she did feel something real for him, as he did for her, and he could only wish such a thing were true, it would make sense for her to react as she had. To be scared was to be weak, or so Buffy seemed to think, and to cover for the fact he had worried her by telling her he loved her, she hurt him.

Spike sighed as he went over it all in his mind again, glad that Buffy wasn't telepathic or anything since she was sitting right beside him in the car. They were headed down to the hotel near the institution so they could visit Dru, stay over for one night then drive on to Giles' House. Buffy had not said two words since they left London and the only sounds were the hum of the engine as they went along and the music from the radio that played softly in the background, some pop tune that neither of them really wanted to hear.

With her eyes fixed out of the window, Buffy was in no hurry to look at Spike. She really hadn't slept at all last night, going over last night in her mind, again and again until it made sense, but it never did. She hated herself right now, and for more than one reason. First for putting herself in this insane situation, second for hurting William, and third for caring that she'd hurt him at all. If she believed in witchcraft she'd say he'd put a spell on her because just with a certain look from Spike these days she wasn't sure which way was up. When he kissed her last night, Buffy didn't have words to describe what that felt like, and yet when he'd said he loved her, he'd shattered it all.

Buffy wasn't certain why she'd laughed about it. Maybe because it had come as so much of a surprise, or maybe because she'd subconsciously been waiting to hear it and never really thought she would. More than both these reasons, Buffy knew the real answer was because she was scared. She was so afraid of the two options that lie before her - either Spike was lying about his feelings for her just to sleep with her, which as crazy as it sounded would break her heart in two, or he meant it when he said he loved her, and somehow that was almost worse.

She could deal with liars and cheats, she'd been doing that for years and Faith had taught her well. If a guy wanted sex, and you liked him enough to play, you went for it. If he spun you a line you just remembered it so you could laugh about how lame it was tomorrow, none of it really meant anything, it was just a good time, but this was different. Spike's lips on hers was like nothing Buffy could describe, his hands on her body made her shiver and burn for him at the same time, and when he'd said those three little words that should mean the world, she was petrified and reacted the only way she knew how.

Now everything was awkward, and possibly the worst part of the whole situation was that she'd lost a friend out of the deal. Buffy Summers didn't need friends, at least that's what she told people, but she was so lonely in her little world of solitude. There was Faith of course but she had precisely three topics of conversation; men, sex, and money, and also Angel but he was way more interested in Buffy's body than her conversation. Apart from them it was just a long line of males that she used and that used her in kind, until she came to England.

Giles was a nice enough guy, and pretty decent to take her in for the Summer. Even though she'd been pretty bitchy to start off with he'd only ever raised his voice to her once, and then it was only because he was worried for her safety when she dived in a filthy lake! And then there was William, the first person in so many years that Buffy actually felt like she could talk to about anything and everything, and that's just what she'd done. She knew his life story, he knew hers, and all in a matter of a couple of weeks. Though they made the oddest pair of friends, that was precisely what they were, or at least what they had been until last night. Now Buffy couldn't ever see a time when things would be okay between them and she looked forward to getting back to Giles' House where there were plenty of places to hide out of his way. Not that she was usually the run and hide type, she'd stand and fight anything that came at her, but she'd never felt this way before, and until she figured out how to deal with it she'd rather not be around William Rayne.

Her task of avoidance was obviously impossible for now as they shared the minimal space within the car and it seemed whilst Buffy was quite happy to ignore the awkward situation, the over-bearing silence had gotten the better of Spike.

"Buffy, I really think we should talk, pet" he told her with a sigh.

The blonde kept her eyes fixed out of the window.

"I don't" she snapped, hoping he would just shut up already.

"You know for a young woman who thinks she's so clever you're being incredibly childish" he snapped right back, knowing that little insult would definitely get her attention if nothing else - he was quite bored with seeing the side and back of her head every time he spared her a glance.

"Shut your mouth, Spike!" she yelled, "You don't know anything about me, so don't think for a second that you do!"

"I know enough" he retorted, eyes flicking between her and the road, "I know you're not the person you'd like me and the rest of the world to believe you are, and I know I liked you better when the real you started to show"

Buffy looked at him dumbly for a moment before she thought of an answer and voiced it.

"There is no other me" she said, folding her arms over her chest and staring straight ahead out of the windshield instead of the side window now, "This is it, what you see is what you get, and that's all"

"Then I'm almost glad last night went as it did" Spike told her in a more moderated tone as he pulled into the parking area outside the hotel and unbuckled his seat-belt, "because I'm sure it would have been a great disappointment for the both of us" he said somewhere been sad and nasty as he got out of the car. Buffy was too stunned to follow for a moment and when she did she deliberately stayed a few feet away from Spike. He hardly ever said anything that hurt her, very few people had the ability to cause her pain most especially with simple words. The fact that William Rayne could was only strengthening the argument that she cared more for him than she really ought to.

* * *

It was a couple of hours later that Spike drove them both to the institution to see Drusilla. As he turned off the engine in the parking lot, he turned to Buffy before she had a chance to vacate the car.

"When we get in there" he told her, "I don't want Dru knowing we've fallen out, it'll only upset her" he explained, "You can manage civility until we get out again, can't you, pet?" he checked, head tilted as he stared at her, "Well of course you can" he nodded absently as he answered his own question, "You've already proven to be quite the actress"

Buffy was seething as she got out of the car and they walked up to the doors. She'd love to yell right now, scream and rave and attempt to pull this guy limb from limb, but she wouldn't, not only because they were about to enter an insane asylum and she'd probably be admitted on sight, but also because feeling any kind of passion towards Spike, even the angry kind, worried her immensely that her feelings might run deeper than she ever thought possible.

As they arrived outside Drusilla's door and were told they could go in, both Buffy and Spike painted on fake smiles to greet her with. William had quite forgotten how perceptive his sister could be and Buffy had no idea til now.

"Ooh" Dru shivered as if cold as she hugged them both one after the other, "My dear brother and his girl bring the snow and ice in their hearts" she said, looking at them both with wide eyes, "And yet such heat and fire was there, all gone away... flames put out by smoky wisps of fear and..." her breath caught in her throat and Buffy was just about to worry about the dark haired girl when she suddenly burst out laughing.

Spike cracked a smile at the sound of the infectious giggling and even Buffy couldn't help but grin a little.

"Bloody hell, Dru" her brother commented, "You sound like a hyena in spasm, pet" he laughed.

"But it's so funny" she exclaimed, still giggling madly as she came towards him, "Look at my dear brother, all dressed up like a real man" she said, holding his hands in hers and spreading their arms wide so she got a proper view of his new clothes.

"Not so sure about that" he sighed, "Different though. You approve, luv?" he checked and she nodded firmly.

"Better" she told him, "Better than butter, on scones for tea" she grinned, her eyes sparkling with real joy that Spike loved to see. He rarely saw such happiness in her, though she smiled it hardly ever reached her eyes, but today it did. It was strange to think that the one day he was out of spirits, she was full of the joys of spring.

"Hello, sister dear" Dru was still smiling as she crossed the room towards Buffy. Spike frowned at that.

"Dru, pet, this is Buffy remember?" he told her, wondering where the whole sister thing was coming from again.

"Hush, William. Bad dog" she shushed him, turning sharply to look at him and then back at Buffy, "He speaks out of turn" she told Buffy solemnly, "He doesn't understand yet, but he will"

"I'm sure he will" the blonde greed not knowing what else to say, "Er, how are you Dru? Is Miss Edith okay?" she asked, vaguely remembering the name of the doll Drusilla was so fond of and hoping to get the raven-haired girl of the subject of herself and Spike.

"We shall not speak of her" Dru whispered conspiritally, "She is a bad example, I took her cakes away"

"Oh, that's too bad" Buffy sympathised, looking so genuine, Spike wasn't entirely sure if she were acting or if she did genuinely care.

It had been her idea to leave London a day later so they could visitor Dru again on the way back to Giles' House but then last night had proven he didn't know the girl as well as he thought he had.

The time went on and Drusilla talked animatedly about things she'd been doing, and things she'd dreamt up, like skating on clouds and sliding down rainbows. Buffy took it all as if it made perfect sense, and never once treated Dru like anything other than an ordinary human being, in fact there were times when Spike thought his sister had been right in counting Buffy as sibling, she behaved almost as if she and Drusilla were just that.

"Must you go away so soon?" his sister said sadly as Spike told her they ought to be going, "Princess wanted you to stay longer" she pouted.

"Sorry, luv, but I don't fancy the hotel tonight and it's still a fair way try drive back to the house" he explained.

Buffy shot him a look, wondering what the sudden hurry was to get home. She guessed it had something to do with staying in hotels with her in the next room.

The three said their goodbyes, and Drusilla hugged first her brother then her new friend. As she did so she whispered in Buffy's ear.

"It's not over, it's only just beginning" she giggled, winking at the blonde as she went out of the door with a frown on her face.

Though the message was a little cryptic she certainly knew what she _hoped_ it meant, that perhaps Spike's love for her was real and that if she let herself love him back as part of her so desperately wanted to, it might all be okay. Still, she wasn't certain enough of her feelings or his to test the theory just yet.

* * *

It was raining hard and getting dark when Spike pulled the car into the garage of Giles House. Buffy was out of the car in a flash, collecting her bag from the back seat and planning to make a run for it before Spike or anyone else decided to speak to her. There had been silence again in the car which suited her fine but Buffy wasn't so sure he would keep his peace now they were home. She was right she realised as she got to the door and he dodged in front, blocking her way.

"Move" she demanded, "Or I'll make you move"

"Like to see you do that, pet" Spike almost smirked as he looked down on her.

He had no doubt she was a tough little thing but he wasn't as weak as he looked and last night's incident in which he'd landed flat on his back when she pushed him was purely because she'd taken him by surprise.

After a moments glaring, Buffy was so determined not to talk to him, she turned and ran out the main entrance of the garage and into the pouring rain. She hurried round the side of the building, hampered a little by her high heeled boots, giving Spike a chance to catch up to her.

They arrived at the main doors together and she thumped on them to be let in. Willow was there in a moment and was stunned to see two black clad blonde's stumble in as she opened the door.

"Leave me the hell alone, Spike!" Buffy exclaimed only stopping in her big storming away moment when she realised two men were staring at her and Spike like they had a couple of extra heads each.

"William?" Giles gasped at the sight of his nephew complete with black leather coat and bleached blond hair.

"Spike?" Buffy said as she glanced between him and the other man who had locked gazes.

"Father" Spike sneered, eyeing the man with distaste.

"Hello, son" Ethan Rayne grinned, almost evilly, "What, no hug for your old man?"

To Be Continued...


	18. The Games

A/N : I really have way too many ideas for fic in my head right now, and I am way too inspired to write. I have new ideas that I'm deterined not to write til I finish at least one more of my current WIPs but we'll see what happens. I really have to ask somebody about getting some extra hours put into my day cos I can't fit everything into the twenty-four currently provided! Anywho, big thanx to the reviewers, as always; Baby Girl Gellar-Green, Brunettepet, spikegothichick, spuffymonica, Spuffy2008, Moluvsumber17, Ember91, wicked-angel-413, plymn-dancer, Lifes-Slayer, Spikez-babe91, spuffygrl, Daniel Wesley Rydell, LuvzD, bella-lover, spuffygurl11, Inuyasha-xcgirl, souled-angel, and Casey . Here's the latest chapter which I hope you will like._  
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 18 - The Games

"Father" Spike sneered, eyeing the man with distaste.

"Hello, son" Ethan Rayne grinned, almost evilly, "What, no hug for your old man?"

Buffy looked first at the strange, grinning man that held his arms wide like he really expected to be embraced by the younger man standing opposite, glaring daggers at him. She couldn't help but think William had never looked so worthy of a violent nick-name such as Spike as he did right now. She would be less surprised of course if she knew all that Ethan had put his children through.

Drusilla ending up in the institution was down to her father who never cared enough to look after her himself, instead preferring to drink away his money and his sanity. William had always wondered if he'd been a better man before his own dear mother died, but Giles assured him that Ethan Rayne was always wild and boisterous and far more interested in himself than anyone else. Though he had some kind of love for his wife, and even his children to begin with, on her death his life spiralled downwards and out of control.

William was happy enough to spend his time at school and then University, and at Giles House in the Summer and other holidays if he could. He saw little of dear old Dad and he liked it better that way, just as Ethan himself seemed to. The man in question hadn't been to the mansion in years and so the question that required answering was why was he here now.

"What are you doing here?" Spike asked coldly and Ethan looked him over, an amused expression forming on his face.

"Come to see my dear boy, of course" he explained, "He does look so much like me these days, doesn't he Giles?" he asked his brother in law, who did not look at all amused.

"Whatever have you done to yourself, William?" he snapped, moving from Ethan's side to his nephews instead.

"What I wanted to for a change" Spike snapped, not meaning to be so blunt with his uncle but so angry over what had happened with Buffy and now even more so because he was faced with the father he despised and who had treated him badly for so long.

"He's growing up fast, Rupert" Ethan said as he too came closer to his son, "We all have our rebellious stage you know. Late nights, loose women" the last comment was said as his eyes travelled up and down Buffy's body. She glared at him, opening her mouth to retaliate against the insult he'd thrown at her, but Spike literally stepped in before she got the chance.

"You leave her alone" he said menacingly, getting in his father's face.

Whilst a small part of him was screaming he was an idiot and he was about to get pummelled, the over-riding want to tell his father where to shove himself won out. He'd been waiting for this moment for years and suddenly he wasn't afraid anymore.

"Moderate your tone,_ son_" Ethan advised, "Remember who you're talking too"

"Oh I remember" Spike assured him, "I remember the stupid sod that sent my sister to an institution because he couldn't be bothered to help her" he raved, "I remember the wanker that got so drunk he barely knew who I was half the time. I remember crying myself to sleep because my Mum was dead and my father didn't care and my sister didn't know what day of the week it was!" he yelled, not stopping even when tears came to his eyes and spilled out down his cheeks, "I remember you've done nothing worthwhile for the whole course of my life, and only make it more hellish than it was anyway, because you are an unfeeling, selfish bastard!" as he screamed his final insult, Ethan brought back his fist and hit him square across the jaw.

Spike reeled back but to his credit didn't fall.

"That is enough!" Giles shouted as the two men glared at each other still.

"Yeah, course it is Giles" Spike agreed, not actually turning away from his father yet, "I just got one more thing I have to say" he admitted, suddenly bringing back his arm and hitting Ethan with such force he fell back against the wall with a thump.

"Spike, don't!" Buffy called, as he advanced on his father and hit him again. The way he was going he could end up killing Ethan and that'd only make matters worse.

"William, stop, now!" Giles demanded as he came up behind him and dragged him off, "Do not rise to him, now calm down" he urged as he held his arms behind his back.

When he was certain he was calm, Giles let Spike go and he walked a few steps away before turning back to his father briefly.

"I don't know what you really came here for" he shrugged, "And to be honest I don't give a toss, but you come near me again and so help me God I won't be responsible for what I do" he threatened before storming off up the staircase.

Buffy and Giles shared a worried glance before the girl sprinted off after the bleached blond. Her God-father called after her to stop so he could talk to her, but she didn't, she just ran til she caught up with Spike on the landing.

"Hey" she said as she grabbed his arm, but he shrugged her off.

"Piss off, Buffy" he told her sharply, "Just bloody well leave me alone, alright!" he yelled as he continued to stride away. Buffy watched him go, almost growling with frustration. She could hardly believe what had just happened, but she was immensely proud of Spike and planned on telling him so as soon as he would listen. She had no doubt it took a great deal of strength for him to stand up to his father that way. He had told her of various occasions when Ethan had hurt him, mostly emotionally, occasionally physically, but he always clammed up fast and changed the subject at those times.

Buffy was still standing in the same place on the landing, leaning back on the bannister rail when Giles found her.

"Where is William, my dear?" he asked tiredly as he removed his glasses and polished them.

"I don't know" Buffy shrugged, "I was going to follow him but, he kinda wants to be alone right now"

"I see, yes" Giles nodded, "Understandable I suppose, though I have got rid of Ethan, and I doubt very much he'll be returning"

"Why was he really here?" the blonde asked him curiously and her God-father seemed to consider the situation before deciding to answer her honestly.

"For money" he admitted, "Ethan Rayne has a less than charming habit of drinking and gambling all of his own funds and then coming to me for more. Usually I give in and let him have what he needs, since I know it would be William that suffered if I did not" he sighed, "When he turned up today I was about to do the same thing when the two of you came through the door and... well, you're all too aware of what happened next"

"I know he treated him badly when he was a kid" she told Giles, "Spike's told me..."

"Spike?" Giles echoed with a frown and Buffy realised that he didn't know about the new name she'd given William.

"Goes better with the image" she shrugged, "Which I'll bet you don't like either" she rolled her eyes, suddenly remembering how old and sensible Giles was.

"It's certainly... different" he admitted, thinking of the black leather and bleached blond look his nephew had adopted, "But his appearance is not my concern at the moment" he shook his head, "I'm much more worried about that outburst downstairs. Whilst I'll admit Ethan deserved everything William said to him, it is very unlike him to speak so"

"He's changed" Buffy said thoughtfully as she looked down the corridor in the direction Spike had gone, "I think maybe we both have" she frowned a little as she realised how true it was.

They'd been gone from the house just a week and yet two different people had come into Giles House than had left it those few days ago. Spike looked the most changed of course but Buffy felt different, to such a degree it scared her half to death.

Buffy hadn't really heard what Giles said to her before he turned and walked away. Her head snapped round and she called behind him when she realised he was leaving. He turned back at the sound of her voice and stared at her confusedly when she said no more for several moments.

"I wondered... I wanted to ask..." Buffy stumbled over what she mean to say before finally saying it, "Have you ever been in love?" she asked, feeling stupid and wishing she hadn't said anything at all almost as soon as the words left her lips.

"Only once" Giles told her with a half-smile that was almost dreamy as he remembered the lady in question.

"How did you know?" was Buffy's other question that she felt she might as well ask since she'd already let out the first one.

"I don't know really" the man admitted with a slight shake of his head, "I think perhaps it was just the little things" he said after a while, "Silly things that they write songs about, my heart speeding up when she walked into the room, and electric currents when our fingers touched, feeling so happy when she laughed and devastated when she cried... Why do you ask?" he frowned slightly as he seemed to zoned back in from some fairytale world from his memory banks.

"No reason really" Buffy lied as she turned away and walked towards her room. He'd given her something to think about that was for sure.

* * *

Another night of little sleep, Buffy thought as she checked the clock and realised it was already ten in the morning. She'd have missed breakfast but that didn't matter, she wasn't hungry. There was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and she knew already what it was.

Spike wasn't happy, last night he'd been so angry and upset and when he wouldn't talk to her about it, that was when the lead weight had taken up resident in her gut. It wasn't going to move, not until she'd found him and made him talk to her, made him feel better, she realised as she got up and got dressed. Subsconsciously she was dressing for him, she knew it only when she glanced in the mirror and saw what she'd put on, a skirt that reached her knees and a top that covered both her back and chest as well as her shoulders. Pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail and abandoning her make-up because she simply couldn't be bothered, Buffy ventured out of her room and faced the row of doors along the landing. Spike could be anywhere on this floor or any other, she could spend all day looking for him and still not find him.

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo" she muttered as she began walking down the corridor, trying to remember what some of the doors had behind them and peering around the edge of a few others. As she stepped back from looking into one particular room she bumped straight into Xander who shrieked like a girl from the shock.

"Oh, hey Buffy, welcome back to Giles House" he smiled when realised it was her, "How was London, you like the sites of the fair city?"

"Er, yeah, I guess" she said, not really caring about the vacation nevermind the answer she gave, "Do you know where Spike is... I mean William" she corrected herself when she realised she'd done it again, used that name no-one knew him by.

"Oh you mean Mr I-Went-To-London-As-A-Geek-And-Came-Back-A-Bad-Ass Guy?" Xander smirked and for a brief second Buffy considered knocking that look of his face.

"I think he looks hot" she admitted, immediately wishing she hadn't, but so often her mouth ran off without her, she just didn't think.

"Whatever" Xander shrugged, not loving the blonde's hostile glare right now, "Er, William is shooting some pool I think, three doors down on the right" he gestured, not getting so much as a thanks as Buffy pushed past him and disappeared down the corridor.

When she reached the door she knew Spike was behind, Buffy suddenly felt ridiculously nervous. Telling herself she was being an idiot she took a deep breath and let herself in, but stopped abruptly just inside the door.

"Oh, it's you" Spike sighed, leaning over the table to make his next shot, "What can I do for you, pet?" he asked as she stood back up again and watched the ball drop into the pocket.

"I wanted to talk to you" Buffy shrugged, taking in his appearance. He still wore black but the jeans and T-shirt were gone, replaced by smart pants and a buttoned shirt, he still looked gorgeous.

"Yeah, well, no offence, luv" Spike told her, "but I'm really not in the talking mood"

He tore his eyes away from her in order to pot another ball, but he was a little stunned by her appearance. Gone were the revealing almost slutty clothes she seemed to like so much, and in their place almost lady-like apparel that at least bothered to cover those areas that ought to be covered in his opinion. Without her make-up her natural beauty shone through and with her hair back off her face she was pretty as a picture, he thought, though right now he didn't feel like telling her. He was still hurt by how she'd treated him, and angry about his father. He wanted to be left alone, truth be told, but it seemed like Buffy wasn't going anywhere as she walked around the table in the opposite direction to that in which he was going. She watched as he made a couple more shots before speaking again.

"This isn't pool" she thought aloud.

"Did I say it was?" he asked with a raised eye brow before potting another red ball. A couple more red ones still remained, and a multitude of other colours. Off Buffy's confused look Spike sighed.

"'S called snooker, luv" he told her, "British game, centuries old. Has it similarities to pool but it's a whole different thing"

"You always play it alone?" she checked, thinking it was unlikely and that it was probably a two person kind of a thing.

"No, it's a two player game" he smirked, thinking he already knew where she was going with this, "Don't tell me, you want a go, right?" he asked with a slightly amused expression.

"That okay with you?" she checked, smiling back at him, glad of any glimmer of a grin she could get out if him right now. He sighed as he put down his cue and replaced all the balls where they needed to be.

"Right then" he said when he was happy the table was set-up correctly, "Lesson the first..."

* * *

It was a couple of hours later when Buffy really started to get the hang of snooker. She was pretty good at pool back home and the point was very similar, get the balls in the pockets. Though she was good, she wasn't really good enough and Spike was beating her fairly easily, despite the fact he was helping her quite a lot.

"No, luv" he said as she tried to line up her next shot, "You're never gonna get it at that angle" he told her with a shake of his head, "Here" he said, coming up behind her and putting her into the right position for the shot. They were ridiculously close and it didn't occur to them just how close until she took her shot, potted the ball, and turned around grinning at her accomplishment. There were mere millimetres between their bodies and their lips and Buffy so wished Spike would kiss her. A voice in her head, not unlike Faith, screamed at her to just do it herself, kiss him, touch him, make it happen, but she couldn't do it. For the first time in her life, Buffy didn't feel like adopting her usual policy of want, take, have that her cousin had drummed into her. She wanted Spike to want her, wanted him to kiss her and love her like he had back in the hotel in London two days ago when she'd been such a scared little fool and rejected him. Now it looked as if it was too late.

"I... I think I'm going to go and see about some lunch" Spike said awkwardly, turning away from Buffy and heading for the door. Though she called after him, he didn't turn back and she cursed herself for everything going so wrong. It was, after all, mostly her own fault.

To Be Continued...


	19. The Night Part I

A/N : Thanx muxhly to the recent revewiers; spuffy-monica, Spuffy2008, spikegothicchick, Casey, Inuyasha-xcgirl, bella-lover, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Ape18, souled-angel, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Daniel Wesley Rydell, Ember91, Lifes-Slayer, spuffygrl/trufan, Brunettepet, spiked-gurl, and Moluvsnumber17. Oh and if it wasn't obvious, the mystery phone calls before were from Ethan. Hope you all like this new chapter!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 19 - The Night (Part I)

Five days passed and the coldness between Buffy and Spike began to thaw. He couldn't be in the house with her and not spend time with her, it was impossible when he loved her so much as he knew he did. He made a point of keeping his distance from her though, when they played snooker or pool, he would explain how she should put her body instead of touching her, and when they talked they'd sit several feet apart and stick to neutral topics.

In some ways Spike hated it, having to make a conscience effort not to get too close. He wanted to learn to be Buffy's friend since that seemed to be what she wanted and it was better than nothing. Still, he couldn't help but wonder now and then if she was as indifferent to his feelings as she seemed. She was different since London, both in looks and attitude. She wore different clothes, the few she owned that covered her better. She talked more softly and listened more intently, no more headphones pounding loud punkish music in her ears, no more sliding down the banisters when she thought no one was looking.

Spike liked this side of her, and yet he did not like to think she was unhappy or for any reason not being herself. He loved her for what she was, he could accept all of it, the good and the bad. As crazy as it seemed, it was as if she was trying to be what he wanted now, and yet she could never be this way. She was what he wanted when she was herself alone, though Spike didn't tell her that, for fear he'd make a mistake and end up being laughed at again.

When he'd laid his heart on the line, it'd got spectacularly stepped on and unless he was absolutely certain things had changed in a major way, he would not be making such declarations again in a hurry.

Buffy herself was both loving and hating the time she spent with Spike as much as he was. Whilst she felt as if she lived for the moments they spent together, talking and laughing and being friends, it tore at her insides when she realised she could've had more than this, could've known what it was to be in a normal loving relationship. William loved her, probably still did, but the very idea of bringing up the subject made her feel sick to her stomach.

How did you tell a guy what you were feeling for him when you barely knew yourself? That was what Buffy really wanted to know. All she knew was how to show her wanting for a man but she didn't only want Spike in that physical way and she wouldn't want him to think that was all there was to her. As much as she craved his kiss and his touch, she so wanted him just to relax around her. Before, they'd been so easy with other, despite the fact they were so different, they'd found things they had in common and talked about everything. Sometimes their hands would find each other on the couch and they'd share a smile and it was just so... nice, was the only word Buffy could think to describe it but it was more than that.

Now it seemed as if everything had been lost, the true friendship that had formed between them as well as the possible romantic relationship they might've had if she hadn't been such an idiot before.

It was mid-afternoon and Giles had asked to speak to William who had obediently followed his uncle into his office. Buffy had watched him go, sighing to herself as she thought how gorgeous he looked again today. It was coming up for two weeks since his hair had been bleached and the brownish routes were starting to show through, somehow making him look even more sexy than before. Though he wore smarter clothes here, he stuck to black and dark colours, always looking kind of dangerous and predator-ish, Buffy thought. His looking so good did nothing to help her concentration on anything else, and she was standing outside Giles' office door, waiting for Spike to re-appear and day-dreaming about him when a hand landed on her shoulder and made her jump. She swung round fast, leg swinging out and almost taking Wesley's own out from under him.

"Bugger me" he gasped, jumping back and Buffy sighed as she realised it was only Wes and not someone trying to attack her. You could never be too careful in LA and she'd learnt a few moves over her time living there and attending some particularly seedy dives with her cousin.

"What's up, Wes?" she asked, not really caring what he was going to say to her and yet listening anyway.

"Willow was telling me about your trip to London" he explained, "Or at least what you and William... or should I say Spike" he smirked, "have told her about it"

"So?" Buffy prompted, thinking there had to be a point here somewhere and getting really bored waiting for it.

"Well, there aren't only night-clubs in London you know, Buffy" Wesley smiled, "There's a place just a few miles from the House, as good as any place in the capital"

Buffy opened her mouth to say no, she didn't want to go, but then a thought struck her. Things between herself and Spike were getting better but they were awkward at best and the stress of always being careful and sensible was starting to get to her. It might be good for the both of them, her and Spike, to blow off a little steam. There would be so many people at the Club they wouldn't have to be alone together if they didn't want to, although Buffy knew she did want to be alone with Spike as much as possible, in the vain hope that the night in London might re-create itself somehow.

"Er, when are you going?" she asked Wes, suddenly remembering he was there and still waiting for a response.

"I don't know really" he admitted, "I was thinking perhaps tonight. I was planning to go before, but Willow isn't keen and I thought perhaps if another girl were to come along..."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she realised she wasn't being invited to go out with him at all, she was just required to make the red-head feel better.

"Whatever" she sighed, "I'll come along, I guess, although I don't see Willow as the night-club type" she almost giggled at the very idea, just as the girl in question appeared behind them.

"Well, maybe I wanna be" she said, a little hurt by the comment, "I can do the whole clubbing thing, with the outfit and the dancing and the... stuff" she ended a little more lamely than she'd begun as Wes put his arm around her shoulders.

"Of course you can, darling" he told her, kissing the top of her head, "It'll be fun, I'm sure of it"

"I'm sure" Buffy nodded though the amused expression on her face led Willow to wonder if she wasn't being a little sarcastic. Although she felt sorry for the blonde in a lot of ways, what with her parents dying when she was so young and everything, she did not appreciate her attitude and sarcasm and general loudness. Still, even Willow had to admit Buffy had changed quite a lot since her trip to London with William.

"What's this then?" Spike smirked as he came out of the office door and made all three people outside of it jump, "Was I gone so long I needed a search party sent after me?" he asked with a tilt of his head, looking mostly to Buffy for an answer.

"Of course not" she scoffed, "like we were worried or anything, we just got talking is all"

"We're going to a night-club" Willow announced proudly as if she were five and she'd just learnt to spell her own name. Spike looked more pained than impressed.

"That's nice, luv" he told her as he made to walk away, "You have fun"

"We wanted you to come with" Buffy called after him and he stopped in his tracks for a second then turned back.

"Don't think so, pet" he told her with a shake of his head, "Not really my scene, is it?"

"Not mine either" Willow shrugged, liking the idea of him coming along so she wouldn't feel so out-numbered, "But it could be fun"

Spike took a long look at her almost begging face and then turned his attention to Buffy, who's eyes almost wore the same expression. She wanted him to go and as much as he told himself he shouldn't want to he really did want to say yes. If he didn't go, she'd probably get upset and when she did that, well, he knew her ways of making herself feel better and he couldn't stand the thought of another man touching her that way, not again, not now she knew how he felt, not when he was starting to let himself believe that she might... he never let himself finish those kind of thoughts, the ones where Buffy might have some kind of feelings for him, emotions that transcended friendship and went deeper into love. He'd been wrong before, he wouldn't risk another assumption of such proportions. Still, all that was being asked of him here was to go out with his friends and have some fun. That he thought he might be able to manage.

"Okay, I'll go" he nodded.

The smile that lit up Buffy's face in that moment, he realised, was worth whatever might go wrong this evening.

* * *

The club was jam-packed when the four young people arrived. Spike was back in his black T-shirt and jeans with his red shirt and long black leather coat from London. The memories it all brought back, both good and bad, spun through his mind, but he pushed them away. This wasn't London, he was not alone with Buffy, and he no longer laboured under the delusion that he and she would get a happy ever after ending somehow, she'd made it very clear before that it was not going to happen.

Giles had watched with a stunned expression when they'd all trooped down the stairs to go out. Buffy back in her more revealing attire, in fact the very same topand almost non existent skirt that she'd been wearing on that first day when she'd arrived at Giles House though with substantially less make-up to go with it. Then there was Spike in his black and leather, Wesley sporting a not dissimilar look, and finally Willow, who had been without doubt the biggest shock. Buffy had been stunned enough by the red-heads request to borrow something to wear, but she'd been even more shocked by just how hot the housekeepers daughter could look when she tried. In black leather pants and a frilly edged leather basque-style top, she was a completely different person and with a confident air she was glad to have found within herself.

Her mother and Xander would go crazy, she said, if they found out she'd dressed up like this and gone to a club, but everyone vowed not to say a word, even Giles, he liked the girl too much to get her into trouble, and despite the changes William had gone through, his Uncle trusted him to keep a careful eye on the rest of the group and let no harm come to any of them.

Drinks were bought from the bar on arrival, and Spike took a seat on a stool there as he sipped his bourbon. He'd become accustomed to the taste now and found he actually craved it every now and then. Buffy sat down on the stool beside him as Wes and Willow threw themselves into dancing - the little red-head had never looked so excited or free.

"What's up, pet?" Spike frowned as his eyes shifted to Buffy and he watched her stir her strange blue drink round and round with a straw, "Thought you'd be dancing within seconds of clearing the doors" he told her.

"Maybe later" she shrugged, "I thought we could, y'know, maybe talk"

"Done a lot of that lately, ain't we?" he said rhetorically, downing the rest of his drink, already feeling he was going to need it.

"We talk a lot" Buffy nodded in agreement, "but not about anything real, not like before" she said sadly.

"Before" Spike snorted a laugh, "Known each other two or three bleedin' weeks and already we've got a before and an after" he shook his head at how ridiculous it was. He felt as if so much had happened with him and Buffy, and it had really, but in such a short space of time it was insane.

"Same again please, luv" Spike said to the barmaid, holding out his glass to her, "Hey, don't I know you?" he checked, and Buffy felt very much the third wheel as the girl behind the bar glanced up at Spike, declared 'oh my God, William?' and laughed like a drain at the chance reunion.

Buffy grew increasingly bored and agitated as she listened to Spike catch up with Lydia, whom apparently had been an acquaintance of his at school years ago. She had also been kind of geekish back then, and yet here they were now, no longer book-worms William Rayne and Lydia Thompson, but dangerous-looking Spike and sexy barmaid Lydi. With nothing else to do but watch and listen, Buffy found that within her mind she could devise all manner of charming plans for how Lydi might have a terrible accident and lose her looks somehow. It kept her entertained to a certain degree as the barmaid laughed along with Spike, but nothing would quash the jealousy that invaded her whole being til she felt she would surely explode.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : This is another chapter that was getting too long so it got cut into two halves. Expect part two tomorrow night! In the meantime, please review and let me know what you think so far. Oh and spike-gurl, I promise I had this all planned out before I read your previous review!


	20. The Night Part II

A/N : Woah, eleven reviews in 24 hours? You guys rock so much! Thanx bunches to; spuffy-monica, ember 91, Lifes-Slayer, Spuffy 2008, kargrif, Brunettepet, u2fan2005, spiked-gurl, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Spikez-babe91, and Baby Girl Geller-Green. For your dedication to the cause of reading and reviewing, you and everybody else gets the chapter you've all been waiting for. Strap yourselves in and prepare for take off on a super Spuffy chapter... and then please review and let me know what you think!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 20 - The Night (Part II)

Every time another customer caught her attention and Lydi was forced to go and serve them, Buffy tried in vain to make conversation with Spike, but talking about things wasn't exactly the blonde's strong point, she was much more action girl than word girl. Still, she tried her best, but nothing she did could properly take Spike's attention from his old friend with the new look. He was actually oblivious to the fact that Buffy was desperate to be taken notice of and for once in her life didn't know how to go about it without making matters worse.

"So, you and Giles had another talk, huh?" she tried next chance she got, "Was it about you staying at the House again?" she asked.

Spike had told her, albeit begrudgingly that his Uncle had offered him the chance to live at Giles House full time in order to get away from his father. It'd mean making some changes in his life of course but mostly only for the better, and since he'd already begun with the changing of his life already William jumped at the chance to escape the house he shared with his Dad.

"Er, yeah" Spike answered her vaguely, "Just finalising details, money stuff, y'know"

"Oh, that's cool" Buffy nodded, suddenly realising she had nothing more to say and that Lydi was trying to work her way back down the bar to Spike as fast as possible.

"I'm just gonna..." Buffy gestured towards the ladies' room and promptly disappeared, terribly disappointed that Spike barely noticed, at least he seemed not to.

In truth it was all Spike could do not to pay attention to the girl that sat beside him, talking at him all night. Not once had she got up and danced despite several men asking her. She'd remained relatively sober and been desperately trying to make conversation, but despite appearances Spike was still hurting on the inside. Behind all the leather and bleach and new attitude, he was still William, and his heart was still bruised from Buffy's assault on it in London. He still loved her, of course he did, and he prayed against all the odds that she might feel something for him too, hoped that it was only her being afraid that held her back.

He found it easier to ignore her much of the time, not really to hurt her like she'd hurt him, though it was partly that, he knew if he looked at her too much, spent too much time alone with her, he'd do something stupid again, like to try to kiss her or tell her he loved her. That would end badly as it did before, so he tried to keep it platonic between them, erring on the side of impolite.

"Finally, I get my break" Lydi smiled as she flipped up the end of the bar and walked through, "Did your friend leave?" she asked absently as she stole Buffy's seat.

"Er, no, I don't think so" Spike told her, "Just powdering her nose"

"Oh" Lydi sounded almost disappointed, "Well, I suppose I ought to make good use of the time I have alone with you" she smirked, "There's something I've been wanting to say to you all night" she confessed.

"What's that then, luv?" Spike asked her, completely oblivious to her want for him til her hands went to his face and she pulled him into a passionate kiss.

He was too stunned to fight at first and too caught up in the moment to bother in the seconds that followed. It was about a minute later, when thoughts of Buffy flooded his mind that he realised this was no good. This woman was beautiful and she liked him and my God could she kiss, but she wasn't Buffy and so something was missing, something he wanted but seemed he'd never have.

"Lydi" he gasped as he pushed her away, "I never thought..." the words died on his tongue as he saw Buffy over the other girls' shoulder. The expression she wore was somewhere between anger and utter devastation, or so it seemed to Spike. He rationalised that these were the things he almost hoped she would feel at the sight of him in the arms of another, it couldn't be true that she actually cared what he did, he was sure.

"Buffy..." he began, not knowing where to go with the sentence beyond that point.

"I wanna go home" she told him more shakily than she meant to. He opened his mouth to say he'd take her but she shook her head and interrupted him, "Don't worry, I'll find a ride"

"I'm sorry, Lydi" Spike said quickly hurrying after Buffy as she stormed through the crowds of people. He called her name but whether she heard him or not over the thumping music she didn't answer.

"Will... er, Spike!" Wes called as he went past, "Is something wrong?"

"I'm taking Buffy home" he yelled back, as he continued to hurry after her. He caught up to her in the parking lot and grabbed her arm to slow her down.

"Get off of me!" she told him, ripping her wrist from his grasp.

"Fine!" Spike yelled back, confused and annoyed by her attitude, "But you are going to get in _my_ soddin' car if you're going home" he ordered her, "Not havin' you be driven off by any of these thugs" he muttered as he spotted a few dodgy looking sorts with their vehicles.

"Whatever!" Buffy snapped back getting into the passenger seat of the Viper Giles' had leant them again. Willow and Wesley had come on the bike so it wouldn't matter that they were leaving the club separately.

* * *

Both Spike and Buffy were too angry to talk much in the car, and as soon as the Viper was in the garage the blonde girl scrambled out of it when the wheels had barely stopped turning.

Knowing the majority of the household would be asleep, Spike refrained from calling after her as he practically chased her up the stairs. She would've slammed the door of her room if he hadn't been close enough to catch it mid-swing. He let himself into her room and closed the door behind him as she glared daggers at him.

"Get out of my room" she almost growled but Spike shook his head.

"No, we're sorting this out once and for all" he told her angrily, "You've been a pain in the ass to be around the past few days and you're driving me crazy!" he told her.

"It's not all my fault" she shot back, "You won't even talk to me, and then as soon as I leave the room at the club you're sucking face with that bitch!" she gestured emphatically at nothing in particularly, she was just so angry and hurt and she didn't know how to deal with the million different feelings she was having for the guy standing in front of her.

"I don't get what your problem is?" Spike frowned, "First off, Lydi snogged me, not the other way around, and why should it matter to you anyway?" he wanted to know.

"Because..." Buffy began loudly, before realising she couldn't tell him the real reason at all "because we went to that place together" she said more quietly, "you were with me"

"Yeah, well, you were with me in London when you disappeared with all those soddin' gits" he reminded her, bitterness in his voice at the very thought of it.

"That was different" Buffy argued badly, knowing it wasn't really but having no better comeback than that.

"How?" Spike demanded to know, "I wasn't supposed to bloody care then and now you're acting like you and me are bleedin' married or something!" he thought aloud, suddenly wondering if he'd been right all along, if perhaps she was a little jealous just like he had been before.

"Don't be ridiculous" Buffy scoffed already backing away from him, "like I'd ever even want to be near you!"

"Oh, is that right?" Spike nodded, "See, pet, I think that might be just what your problem is" he said, going out on a limb. Internally he cursed himself for being a fool but he couldn't help the glimmer of hope in his heart.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy said, trying to sound angry still but her voice came out more scared than anything else and she hated it.

"You weren't anywhere near me, and another woman was" Spike reminded her "You're jealous" he said simply.

"You're deluded!" Buffy snorted a laugh, knowing he was figuring her out and finding it was even more scary than she'd thought before.

"How else do you explain it?" he wanted to know as he tilted his head and stared at her.

"I am so not jealous" Buffy assured him, "I just... I..." his intense look made her crumble, and not knowing how to handle it, the blonde girl exploded angrily, "Oh for God sake, yes, okay!" she yelled, unable to look at him, "Yes, I was jealous! I'm jealous of any girl that comes within five feet of you and I hate it" she told him angrily, all the fury draining out of her as soon as she'd finished speaking. He knew now, Spike knew that she had feelings for him, even if it wasn't yet clear how deep they ran.

She was looking at the floor as he walked over to her and his boots came into her line of vision. She swallowed hard as his fingers went beneath her chin and lifted her head up til their eyes met. Buffy couldn't think straight, could barely breathe as he looked at her with that intense gaze of his, before he lowered his head and his lips touched hers in a sweet kiss.

"Buffy" he whispered a moment later, his fingers playing with her hair, "the only girl I want within five feet of me is you" he assured her, "don't you get that? I love you"

Spike had promised himself he wasn't going to do this again, not until he was absolutely certain she felt the same about him, but the way she'd reacted to his kissing with Lydi, she had to feel more than she was letting on and somehow he planned on having her admit it tonight.

Though she didn't say the three little words back to him, the way she kissed him then told him what he needed to know. This wasn't like kissing Lydi, or Charlie back in London, it wasn't even like kissing Buffy had been before. He could feel something different, and only hoped she could tell that what he felt for her was so much deeper than the simple animal attraction most other men had felt for her.

"You're not laughing this time?" he noticed as they parted for air.

"This time it's not funny" she admitted softly, "and that doesn't mean I can say back to you what you said to me" she said with a slight shake of her head, her arms around his neck holding onto him in case he ran right now, "it's not easy for me" she told him, "but I know I feel things for you that I never felt for anyone before, and I so want to be close to you. Is that okay?" she asked, looking so young and shy, and like she'd never looked before. All Spike could do was nod dumbly before he moved to kiss her again.

Buffy had never thought for a moment that fairytales could come true. As a kid she'd loved all those Disney cartoons with princesses and brave knights and the like. Her mother had told her she was as good as any princess and that one day she would get her own fairytale with a happily ever after ending. She'd given up on that dream when her parents died, but in this moment the memory of that little pointless conversation came back to her as she was kissed like a prince would kiss his princess. She found herself smiling like an idiot as the moment went on and on. They were sitting on the edge of the bed by now and the mood was suddenly much more serious as their want for each other increased. Hands found their way inside clothing as the passion grew between them and they both realised where this was going if they chose not to stop.

"Buffy" Spike gasped as he pulled away for a moment, "you know I never..." he said awkwardly, glancing away. She put her hand to his face and made him look at her.

"I know" she nodded "and it's okay" she assured him, "but if you don't want to, I mean, if you don't want me to be... y'know" she stammered, and he realised that despite everything she still doubted his affection, or moreover her own worth perhaps.

"Of course I want you" Spike told her firmly, the look in his eyes reinforcing his words, "I never wanted anything more"

With no more words to say and a silent agreement passing between them in that moment, he kissed her again and carefully manoeuvred them both further onto the bed where they lie together, hands and lips exploring each others bodies as their clothes slipped away and they both finally found out what it meant to truly make love.

* * *

It was past two in the morning when Spike opened his eyes, at least that was what the unfamiliar red digits of the clock told him. This wasn't his bed, he realised as she moved beneath the covers, also taking in the fact he was naked. A second later his mind was flooded with thoughts and feelings and beautiful memories of what had happened here. Him and Buffy, that was what had happened, love had happened, and in the most glorious way possible they had shown each other how deeply they felt. He frowned when he realised he'd gone to sleep beside her and yet had woken up alone.

Sitting up in the bed, he saw her across the room, standing by the window in all her naked glory. He took a moment to take in her beauty before getting out of bed and going over to her.

"Buffy?" he said softly, hoping not to startle her, "Oh luv, you're shivering" he noticed, reaching for the blanket and wrapping it around her shoulders. She smiled gratefully, swallowing hard before she spoke.

"I'm not cold" she admitted as he she faced him and his arms went around her, "Spike, I..." she didn't know how to say what she meant and her eyes went to the floor. She felt so mixed up, and almost unworthy of the love she knew he had for her. Nothing had ever felt as good as what they'd shared, but then nothing had ever been this scary either.

"What is it, pet?" Spike needed to know, trying to meet her eyes but she wouldn't look at him, "Buffy, if I hurt you or..." he said, looking mortified at the very idea he might've as Buffy finally looked up at him.

"You didn't" she promised him, putting her hand to his face and forcing a smile that didn't quite work, "Of course you didn't, that's not..." she sighed, "You were just amazing" she told him and Spike turned away at that.

"Don't do that" he shook his head, "Don't patronise me"

"I'm not" Buffy assured him, almost smiling at the irony of him suddenly being the insecure one about all this, "Spike, what we did" she tried to explain, "it was like nothing I ever..." she sighed, "I guess, I had sex before but, no-one ever made love to me... until tonight" she said softly, eyes mostly on the floor until the very end of her sentence. She just didn't say things like this to people, she'd never needed to, and now she was opening her heart to this guy and as scary as it was it also felt kind of right.

They kissed just briefly before she whispered;

"I love you, William"

The wait for a reaction felt like hours passed to Buffy. Though she felt these things, trust and love for the man whose arms she was in right now, there was this tiny nagging feeling inside her that he was about to laugh, tell her it was all a big joke, that she was a good lay and all but he didn't want to be near her again. Instead he just looked stunned.

"You love me?" he checked, wondering if he'd dreamt the words he'd waited for.

"I do" she nodded, "I thought I did before and now... I never knew that being with someone could be like that, you were incredible" she said, suddenly feeling very shy and silly, but at least she knew she was able to be honest.

"And you were a goddess" Spike told her in kind, his fingers running through her hair as he held her close.

"Only cos you made me feel like one" Buffy was quick to let him know, "How did you do that?" she asked in amazement.

"Wasn't anything I did, luv" he sighed as he looked at her, wondering again how this beautiful woman could have been used and abused by so many. Who would want to hurt someone like her, he just couldn't understand at all.

"It _was_ you, it _is_ you" she argued, all in whispers, "All you have it do is look at me and I can't think straight" she admitted, "Right now it's taking all the concentration I have to make sentences that go in the right order" she almost laughed at herself then and that brought a smile to Spike's lips too as he tightened his grip on her, wanting to be as close as he could to her, reassuring her that this was right.

"It scares you doesn't it? Being in love?" he said, already knowing it was true, even if she didn't admit it.

"It did, for a while" she nodded, "still does a little bit, but... but it'd be worse not having this" she said as if she'd thought so before but was now completely certain.

"I love you, Buffy" Spike promised to her, "I swear to you I would never deliberately hurt you, and if I have to tell you that every day for the rest of my life in order for you to keep believing it then I will"

Buffy's eyes filled up with tears at his words and for once in her life she wasn't ashamed to cry. She was beyond happy right now as he kissed her again, standing there in the half light of the window, with only a blanket to cover their bodies.

"Think you can sleep a while now?" he asked her eventually, tiredness suddenly hitting him like a physical blow. He hadn't slept properly since they'd got back from London, he could never manage it when his mind was so full of her. Now here she was in his arms and he knew that whilst sleep might find him tonight he would not need to dream, his dreams had already come true.

"Will you hold me?" Buffy whispered shyly as they got back into the bed and Spike happily pulled her close to him again.

"For as long as you want, pet" he assured her, kissing the top of her head.

Buffy let out a contented sigh as she revelled in the love and comfort of his embrace.

"I like forever" she said softly, glancing up at him, "Is forever good for you?" she checked.

"Sounds perfect, luv" he smiled, "Just perfect"

They both closed their eyes then, with plans to let sleep claim them, though as content as he was right now, still Spike could not rest. He didn't want to miss a moment of all this, lying here with the woman of his dreams willingly in his arms. He knew it was ridiculous, that there would be many nights like this to come. After all, they were in love now and they both knew it, nothing could ever go wrong with that...

To Be Continued...


	21. The Weakness In Me

A/N : Wow so many reviews! Thanx so much to you all; Sunflowerlynx, kargrif, Baby Girl Geller-Green, spuffy-monica, Brunettepet, Ember91, u2fan2005, Daniel Wesley Rydell, spuffygrl, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Spuffy2008, StarPrincess2020, TammyDevil666, Sandra, rad, Decaf Love, Spikez-babe91, aej1085, sPIKEaNDmE, spiked-gurl, Inuyasha-xcgirl, bella-lover, SpuffyChiclet, wicked-angel-413, Ape18, and Freezyboncoolipants. You all seriously rock and I love that I made you all so happy with the Spuffyness of the previous chapter. See what you think of this new chapter...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 21 - The Weakness In Me

Spike awoke to the pleasant sensation of soft lips against his own, and when his eyes flickered open he stared up into the face of an angel, at least that's what she was to him.

"Hi" Buffy smiled as he looked up at her, "I was wondering how long it'd take before you woke up"

"Mornin' luv" Spike smiled back, "Don't feel just cos I woke up you have to stop y'know, I can pretend to be asleep again if it helps" his smile turned into a smirk as she giggled and leaned down to kiss him again. His hand went behind her head the other around her body as he pulled her in as close to him as he could get her.

"This is weird" she gasped when his lips left her own and he looked at her strangely, "Not the kissing" she said quickly when she realised what he must be thinking, "The kissing is all very good" she assured him, her hand going to his face, "It's just, this, the whole waking up together thing" she said with a look of almost amazement on her face, "We're both still here, and not regretting anything... at least, I'm not"

"Me either, luv" he promised her solemnly, "No regrets, not a one. I love you, Buffy" he whispered before he kissed her again, his hands sliding beneath the covers and down her naked body making her gasp. Nobody ever made her feel like this, not ever, and she'd had her fair share of men, in fact she'd probably had several women's share by now. Spike was the first man to make her feel genuinely loved and wanted in a real sense. She saw it in his eyes when he looked at her, heard it in his voice when he told her, and felt it now as he made love to her all over again.

* * *

"They're a little busy, sir" Willow said nervously as she stood in the doorway of the breakfast room facing Giles, "I don't think they're going to make it down in time for breakfast"

"Busy?" her boss frowned as he began buttering his toast, "At this hour of the morning? I suppose my dear that by that you mean they drank rather too much last night?" he rolled his eyes, hoping nothing terrible had occurred, and trying not to think what may have happened in London that he didn't know about.

"I don't think they drank so much, sir" Willow shook her head, "I know I didn't"

"You're a good girl, Willow, I know" Giles smiled, "That is why you are able to be up and about at this time of the morning unhampered by the after-effects of too much alcohol. I think you must be mistaken, my dear, I see no other reason why William and Buffy would remains in their beds so long, William most especially"

Willow just smiled, and left the room, trying not to blush as she recalled her trip upstairs. She had been about to knock on Buffy's door when she thought she heard voices, a moment later there were sounds that could only mean one thing was happening beyond the door. Quickly she'd run down to William's room, thinking she would probably find him very upset if Buffy was with another man, it hadn't occurred to her, until she found his bed not slept in, that it was he that Buffy had with her. Now that she knew, she planned to keep it to herself. She would be too embarrassed to tell Giles anyway, even if she wanted to.

* * *

Buffy sighed as she lay in Spike's arms, perfectly content to stay there forever. He'd just taken her to heaven and back for a second time and her body was still humming all over from the experience.

The sunlight shone through the gap in the curtains, alerting the couple to the fact it was morning, and heading fast towards lunchtime.

"You wanna get up?" Buffy asked Spike as her head rested on his shoulder and her fingers drew random patterns on his bare chest.

"Give us a minute to recover before we go again, pet" he smirked, kissing the top of her head. She looked up at him suddenly with wide eyes.

"Oh my God" she gasped in fake horror, "I think I'm a bad influence on you, you are becoming very dirty minded, William Rayne" she told him, poking him in the chest with her index finger.

"Nonsense, luv" Spike shook his head, "I believe you've been nothing but a good influence on me" he told her, reaching up to push her hair behind her ear, "Everything changed the day you danced into my life" he smiled at the memory, "Weirdest thing is, for the first time ever it feels right" he explained, his eyes never leaving hers, "My life feels right now, I do, I feel... complete"

"You make it sound like your life was all wrong without me in it" she shook her head, thinking that despite the beauty of his words, he was also being kind of insane right now.

"Maybe it was" he shrugged, "Maybe I just didn't know it was wrong until you came and made it right" he smirked, almost breaking into a laugh then and for a split second Buffy's heart clenched in her chest as she thought this was all just a joke, "Listen to me, prattling on like a love-sick kid... feel free to tell me to shut my gob if I bore you" Spike rolled his eyes, before covering them with his hand as if to hide in shame.

"I don't think you ever could" Buffy told him, "bore me, I mean" she explained as he peeked at her between his fingers.

"Is that right?" he checked, as his hand fell away and he looked at her. She stared at him for a long moment, mouth opening and closing like a landed fish before she finally spoke.

"Could you, cover your eyes again?" she asked him, causing a strange look to form on his face, "I just, I wanna say something and I can't with you watching me" she said, looking so shy and adorable it was all Spike could do not to grab her, kiss her, and make her his again. Instead he just lay on his back and shut his eyes tight, telling her to just say whatever it was she needed to say.

"Okay" she said, taking a deep breath, waving her hand in front of his face to ensure he really couldn't see her. Convinced he couldn't, she took another breath and began.

"The first day I came here" she said, sitting up in the bed only half covered by the sheets and with her knees drawn up to her chest, "I didn't really wanna be here, I didn't wanna be anywhere 'cept back home, my real home with my parents in LA. The day I found out they were... never coming back" she said more softly, "From that day on I decided to be different to make myself harder, more resilient. I figured if I never cared about anything or anyone ever again, it wouldn't matter if I lost them. My Aunt and Uncle were easy not to care for, they really only took me in because they had no choice. I guess I love Faith, in a cousin kind of way or whatever, but we don't say stuff like that, it's just not something we do, y'know?" she asked though she didn't expect or want an actual answer, and Spike didn't venture one.

"I kept these barriers up for such a long time" Buffy continued, "Every guy I slept with was just one more physical release, one more attempt to... to feel something, I guess, something I was missing. The day I met you, I was still blocking everyone out, still didn't want to let myself care. Giles tried to be nice to me, so did Willow, and Xander, but as nice as they were I just deflected all the good people... then there was you" she smiled as she glanced at him, amused by the fact that he was also smiling slightly despite the fact his eyes were still closed just as he'd promised.

"The first day I met you, I saw something... different, I guess" she smiled to herself, "On the surface I guess I thought you were kind of a geek or whatever, if I'd seen you anywhere else that's all you would've been but I had no-one else to spend time with and you seemed to be everywhere I went. I told you stuff I'd never told anyone, and I had no idea why, and the more time we spent, the more I realised that different thing I saw in you was something good, something I liked a lot... something I thought I could love"

Spike opened one eye and looked over at her, watching her as she stared off into space and continued to talk to him.

"It scared me half to death to think I could love you, that's why I was such a bitch to you, it's the only way I know to deal, just block out what I'm feeling... then I just couldn't do it anymore. I dunno, maybe I'm changing, growing up a little or whatever, which is ironic when you think about it cos that's kind of what my Aunt and Uncle sent me here for" she laughed lightly, "Still, I don't think they intended for me to end up sleeping with Giles' nephew... but then, I never came here intending to fall in love" she sighed, turning to look at him and Spike closed his eye again just in time so she didn't notice. Buffy laid down beside him, her face incredibly close to his own.

"I love you, William Rayne" she told him as she softly kissed his lips, "I wish you knew how much of a big deal it is for me to say that to you"

"I know" he told her, as he opened his eyes and slipped his arm around her, holding her close, "and believe me Buffy, it is just as big a deal for me as it is for you. I never felt like this about anyone in my whole life before, and to be honest, I'm not exactly lacking in the scared factor myself" he admitted, "Still, I reckon we'll be okay, you and me together, it's going to work out, luv, I'm sure of it"

"I'd like to think so" she smiled.

He kissed her again just briefly before deciding they really did ought to get out of bed. Best that Giles found out they were together from them than one of the staff who accidentally stumbled in on them doing something unmentionable.

Spike slid into last nights clothes so he could get back to his own room to shower and change, whilst Buffy took a clean outfit into her own bathroom.

Within a half hour they were standing together on the landing, ready to face the household and the world together.

"You think Giles will go nuts when he realises you and me are... whatever we are" Buffy said awkwardly, feeling like a fourteen year old from some high school chick flick who just got asked to Prom by the most popular boy in school.

"Giles is a decent bloke, Buffy" Spike told her as they headed for the stairs, "He likes you well enough, and if he sees we're happy I don't think he's going to 'go nuts' over us being together" he assured her.

"Ah, I see you two have emerged" Giles said as he passed by the bottom of the main stair case and saw the two young people coming down, "Am I to assume black coffee will be required?" he asked them.

"We didn't get drunk, Giles" William smirked, realising he must think that was why they hadn't emerged from their beds til now, "We, er, something else happened" he said a little awkwardly and it was then glancing between the two of them that his Uncle realised Spike and Buffy were holding hands.

"Oh, oh yes, I see" Giles stammered a little, both surprised by what had happened and a little embarrassed. The very last thing he desired to know about was what his nephew and his God-daughter did in the privacy of their bedrooms, together or otherwise.

"Er, William, I was wondering if I might have a word with you" he said, gesturing towards his office, "In private if you don't mind"

"This is about me, right?" Buffy snapped, a dark cloud seeming to pass over the previously happy and sunny look on her face.

"No indeed, my dear, you are quite mistaken" Giles told her, "I simply have some papers here I need William to look over, regarding finances and such for when he lives here permanently" he told her with smile.

Buffy didn't look entirely convinced, until Spike squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly when she glanced at him.

"I'll be ten minutes, luv" he told her, placing a quick kiss on her lips before he walked away.

With a sigh, Buffy ventured further down the stairs and watched the two men disappear into the office. She briefly considered putting her ear against the door or her eye to the keyhole so she could be sure she wasn't being discussed, but she had to learn to trust Spike, and even Giles. If they said she wasn't their chosen topic of conversation, then they most probably wouldn't mention her at all.

"Oh hey" Willow smiled a she came through a door across the hall, "I have your outfit in my room, I was going to get it cleaned before I gave it back..."

"Keep it" Buffy smiled back, "Really, I have so many clothes and you looked really good in it last night" she told the red-head who was a little stunned by Buffy's polite manner.

"Um, thank you" she said uncertainly, wondering if some sort of joke was being played on her, "You looked great too, I mean you and William together"

"Yeah, me and him together" Buffy smirked as she glanced at the closed office door, "Kinda works for me right now"

A sudden loud banging made both the girls jumped and look towards the front of the house.

"Who could that be?" Willow frowned realising someone must be at the front door. She scurried off to see who was still knocking so much, it sounded like they might bring the whole house down and Buffy wandered around in the large foyer, waiting for Spike and Giles to finish their little talk.

* * *

"This looks fine to me, Giles" William told his Uncle as he finished looking at the pieces of paper in his hand.

"Oh, good, good" the older man smiled and nodded as he poured himself a drink, "And although I did want to see you about these papers, William, I do have something else I must say to you also... about Buffy" he explained and Spike rolled his eyes.

"How did I know this was coming?" he said to himself as he walked over and took the decanter from Giles, pouring himself a similar drink.

"She is a dear girl in many ways, William" his Uncle nodded, "and I have no doubt you're very... attracted to her... qualities" he said awkwardly, "but you and she are hardly compatible"

"In case you didn't notice, Giles, we've both changed quite a bit these past few weeks" he reminded him, "I know why it bothers you, I know you're worried I'm going to turn out like _him_" he said distastefully, meaning his father of course, "But I'm not the wine, women, and song type. Despite the changes I've made in my appearance and my manner, I'm still me" he assured Giles, "I know right from wrong, I know love from physical attraction" he explained, "I'm in love with Buffy, Giles, and I'm certain she's in love with me too"

"Then there really is nothing more to say on the subject" his Uncle replied as he finished his scotch, "I only hope things don't go wrong between you. I would so hate to see you hurt..."

"I won't be" William shook his head, "This is for real, me and Buffy. Nothing could come between us now, I'm certain"

* * *

Buffy frowned as she heard loud voices in the front hall, just beyond the double doors on the other side of the foyer. If she didn't know better she'd say she recognised the booming female voice she heard yelling.

"Do I look like I care what you think!" she heard, "Yeah, whatever Red, get the hell out of the way already" the voice boomed as it's owner crashed through the doors, hands on her hips and a smile spreading across her lips when she spotted Buffy.

"Yo, B" she grinned, "Look who came visitin'"

"Faith?" Buffy said, looking stunned, "What the hell are you doing here?" she laughed, pleased to see her cousin and get so surprised.

"Kind of a long story" the brunette told her with a look, "Most of it not so much suitable for Little Miss PG-13 over here" she laughed, pointing behind her at Willow who didn't look too happy about Faith barging into the house as she had.

"Er, I guess we could go somewhere and you can tell me what happened" Buffy said with a shrug, her eyes flitting just briefly to the door that Spike and Giles were still behind.

"That's cool" Faith nodded, "But first, I kinda brought you a surprise"

"What kind of surprise?" Buffy asked with a look. Faith's surprises were not always of the good, and occasionally involved run-ins with the law.

"Don't look so panicked, B" Faith laughed, "This surprise you're guaranteed to love" she promised as she put her fingers in her mouth and whistled.

A moment later a tall, broad shouldered, undeniably gorgeous guy stepped in through the doors, smiling at the blonde whose mouth fell open of it's own accord.

"Angel" Buffy gasped as she realised who it was.

"Hey, baby" he smiled, "What, you're not gonna come over here and say hello?" he asked with a look.

Without a thought Buffy strutted across the space between them, slamming her lips to Angel's as soon as she reached him. His arms wound round her body as hers went around him. He lifted her up off the floor and held her against the wall as her legs wrapped wound his waist and Faith looked on in amusement.

"Yo guys, get a room" she laughed, popping her gum as she leaned in the doorway still, "Or at least give me a chance to catch up" she grinned as her eyes landed on the bleached blond hottie who'd just come through the door across the foyer, "Who's this?"

"Funny, just about to ask you the same thing, luv" Spike smirked, until he turned and saw Buffy up against the wall getting grindy with Angel.

"Spike" the blonde gasped as she pulled away from the brunette and told him to let go of her so she could move.

"Spike, huh?" Faith smirked a she looked at him, "Like the name, like the chassis, any chance of seeing under the hood" she winked, but Spike didn't hear her over the much louder sound of his heart shattering in his chest.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Well, if you know me and my fic you should have guessed things were gonna get complicated, maybe even a little bad! The last line of the previous chapter should've given you a clue too! And before anybody yells at me for having Buffy all lovey-dovey with Spike and then snogging Angel, please think back to the last couple of eps of Season 7! Anywho, let me know what you think of this please, and I'll update again soon.


	22. The Old vs The New

A/N : As always, thanx so much for the latest reviews; Decaf Love, Spuffy2008, u2fan2005, spuffy-monica, sPIKEaNDmE, funkydevil206, Brunettepet, Ember91, Amandamanda3, igore, wicked-angel-413, aej1085, what, Moluvsnumber17, spiked-gurl, souled-angel, KelleyTheSelfToastablePoptart, Sandra, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Freezyboncoolipants, Daniel Wesley Rydell, Spikez-babe91, A.A.J., cazey, velja, Anonona, Kez, bella-lover, SpuffyChiclet, littelwicca, Ape18, and Lifes-Slayer. I don't think I lost more than two regular readers with the previous chapter. Most of you seemed stunned but have faith in me to fix this situation.. okay so maybe Faith wasn't the best word to use! Oh and before anyone starts telling me the character called Angel is nothing like him, I've kind of gone with his Angelus persona for this story...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 22 - The Old vs The New

"Er, Buffy" Giles said awkwardly as he glanced around the foyer at the five young people there, before facing the blonde, "I would assume you know these people" he gestured vaguely at Faith and Angel.

Though Buffy answered her God-fathers question her eyes never left Spike, who looked like he was about to cry.

"Er, yeah, this is my cousin Faith Wilkins" she introduced, "and this is Angel, he's my... y'know" she shrugged not really sure what to call him. She wouldn't exactly say boyfriend since that sounded a little silly and they weren't exactly faithful to each other or anything, they just had more time for each other than most other people that hung around with.

"So this must be the great Mr Giles" Faith grinned as she sauntered over, "Nice place you got here, lot of room for one guy though, ain't it?"

"I like my space" Giles told her politely, though he disliked the girl intensely already, "May one ask why you have suddenly... descended upon us" he asked as he looked her over as subtly as he could. She really did look ghastly in his own opinion, all black leather and over-zealous make-up that he saw no need for at all. She was much worse than Buffy had been even when she'd first arrived.

"Like I was tellin' B, it's kind of a long story" Faith shrugged, "I guess I could condense for the uninformed - I left home" she said simply.

"Faith, how can you have left home?" Buffy asked with a frown, her eyes only now shifting from Spike to her cousin, she couldn't bear to see the pain on his face any longer.

"Simple as, B" Faith told her, "The parents got all weird about me blowin' off steam at the Bronze, there might've been a situation with some cops" she admitted, "I waited til they hit the sack, swiped their platinum cards and headed out, figured I'm come and surprise you"

"You did that alright" Buffy sighed.

"And I was hardly gonna let Faithie travel alone, especially when she was coming to see my favourite girl" Angel leered as he put his arm around Buffy's shoulders and pulled her to him, his hand starting to wander over her body.

"Angel, stop it" she wriggled free of his grasp.

"What's the matter, Buff?" he laughed, "You embarrassed or something? Geez England's changing you" he told her, looking unimpressed, suddenly noticing she really did look different, though he couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was that had changed.

"All the better reason to get her out fast" Faith grinned, "We came to rescue you, B" she told her, slapping her on the back.

"Rescue?" Buffy echoed, not fully understanding it all yet, and still wondering what the hell was happening here. Her two worlds were colliding in possibly the most terrible way and she didn't know where to begin.

"No offence to your keepers here, but this place was kinda not where you wanted to be all Summer, right?" Faith said, giving her a look, "Me and Angel, we got plans to get a place in LA, but it don't happen without our other favourite girl" she grinned, "So what d'ya say, cuz?"

"I... I don't know" Buffy stammered, turning to Spike who glanced at the floor and then at her face.

"Looks like you're goin' home, luv" he said, swallowing hard just so he could get the short sentence out. Without another word he turned to the main staircase and hurried up it, without actually running away and making himself look like a total nancy boy. He wasn't sure why his appearance mattered to him where these people were concerned, but it did. Of course mostly he didn't want Buffy to see him be weak, didn't want her to know she'd hurt him like this. Clearly it was all a game to her, turn the local geek into something new and improved, maybe just bed the local virgin, either way she'd used him for her own entertainment and now she was heading home.

What killed Spike was how sincere she'd looked the whole time, this morning most especially as they lie together in her bed, speaking words of love to each other and enforcing them with the most beautiful of actions.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he stood on the other side of his bedroom door, realising what a fool he'd been for trusting Buffy Summers, for letting her come in and turn his life upside down, for allowing her to trick him into believing she might love him as much as he loved her, something he had believed to be impossible and saw now that it truly was.

Back down in the foyer, Giles advised Willow that perhaps Buffy would like to spend some time with her friends and the two of them vacated, leaving the blonde alone with her cousin and Angel.

"So what's the deal with the bleached blond hottie?" Faith asked immediately, "He looks like he knows a thing or two" she smirked in filthy fashion, making Buffy feel like screaming at her as well as crying like a child. Spike wasn't just another guy she'd slept with, he was special, what they had wasn't just sex it was love, he made love to her and that felt like nothing else in the world.

"I don't wanna talk about him" Buffy shrugged, trying to look nonchalant in front of her friends, "Tell me about this steam blow offage that involved cops?" she asked curiously.

"Oh man, B, it was wicked-cool" she enthused, as they walked down the hall and sat down in the nearest living room, Faith on the back of a couch with her feet on the probably very expensive seat, "So there I am, middle of the dancefloor, surrounded by hunks, just doin' my thing y'know" she started to explain, making her usual Faith-type comments and jokes that Buffy couldn't help but giggle at, despite the fact she knew she probably shouldn't. It wasn't smart to yell at and assault police officers, nor was getting drunk to the point of near-collapse something to be proud of, she knew that. Still, sitting here with Faith and Angel, hearing semi-familar tales of life in Sunnydale, Buffy didn't feel much like the girl that had learnt a few lessons about life and love. She felt like her old self, the wild girl that had arrived in England a few weeks ago, complete with skimpy clothes and loud punk-girl music booming. That was who she really was after all, wasn't it?

Concentrating on Faith's story helped, but her mind was still constantly wandering to Spike how badly he must be hurting, though he'd seemed pretty unemotional about her possible plans to leave. It wasn't as if she was ever going to stay here permanently anyway, it was just a Summer vacation. In September she was going back to Sunnydale anyway for her Senior year of High School, and she'd probably never see William Rayne again, maybe it would be better to get out while she still could, while she still had the strength. Besides, what would Angel and Faith say if she told them she couldn't go back to America because she'd fallen in love? She laughed at herself, on the inside at least, as she pictured their reactions. They would laugh, say she was insane and pathetic. Love was for old married people, passion and lust were for the young. Relationships brought pain and heartache in the end, better to get what you need and get out, that had always been the philosophy of herself and her cousin and their various acquaintances.

"...so when my Mom was done yellin' her head off about honour and reputation and all that bull, I got my stuff, lifted their plastic and split with Angel-boy here" Faith grinned as she finished her story.

"Wow" was all Buffy could find to say, especially since she'd' really only listened to about half of what her cousin had said to her, "So what happens now?"

"Pretty much anything you want, baby" Angel told her as he walked across the room, eyeing various trinkets on the coffee table and mantle shelves with an unimpressed eye, "We got time and cash, thanks to Faithie" he smirked, "World's ours, for a while at least" he said as he grabbed Buffy's hand and pulled her to her feet and into his arms. The feel of his body against hers was familiar and not exactly bad, though he wasn't Spike, that much was obvious by the way he grabbed her so roughly and kissed her the same way.

"You guys want me to vacate or what?" Faith laughed as she watched Angel practically bend Buffy over backwards as he kissed her till her head swam from lack of oxygen. When their lips finally parted, he kept a tight hold of her as he smirked at Faith.

"I say we all vacate" he suggested, "Nothin' to stay here for and I don't think we're entirely welcome with the old guy" he rolled his eyes.

"Probably not" Faith agreed, "So what d'ya say B? We blow this joint or what?" she asked the blonde, "Cab's still outside and I can get us sweet rooms at the nearest hotel" she told her, waving a platinum card that she pulled from her cleavage.

Buffy looked uncertain for a just a moment before she nodded her head.

"Give me a sec to grab my stuff" she smiled, "Then we're out of here" she agreed as she kissed Angel once more and pulled out of his arms.

After she'd left the room Angel grabbed a couple of expensive looking knick-knacks from the mantle shelf and put them in his pockets.

"Gonna need somethin' when your card hits the limits" he shrugged to Faith who followed his example and grabbed something gold and flashy from the coffee table, pushing it into the pocket of her tight pants.

"You think B's okay?" she asked with a slight frown, "Seems a little off to me"

"She'll be okay when we get her home" Angel told her, "Don't worry so much" he smirked.

"I'm not worried" she laughed at the concept as she kicked him lightly on the ass, he turned and looked at her incredulously but she only smiled.

"Don't give me that look" she said as he stared at her, "You know you like it like that" she said as her tongue ran over her bottom lip.

"You know it, baby" Angel agreed as he leaned over her on the couch and kissed her hungrily.

* * *

Buffy stood in what had been her bedroom these last few weeks. Her eyes fixed on the bed where she'd spent such happy hours last night and this morning in Spike's arms, being loved by him unconditionally. Now she was leaving him, for the sake of Angel, and of course Faith too. It was the right thing to do she told herself, though a big part of her disagreed. She was going with the safe option, surely. She was getting out before she got hurt, doing the sensible thing. She got what she needed, all itches had been scratched on this occasion, she could move on now. There would be other guys, other nights just as good as last night, she told herself firmly as she stuffed her clothes into her bag.

A crash down the hall made her stop what she was doing immediately. The sound of shattering glass assaulted her ears and without a thought she dropped her bag and ran towards the sound, already guessing where it was coming from. Spike's bedroom door was open when she reached it but he wasn't there. What she did see was the full length mirror that stood in the corner was just an empty frame, a whole mass of broken glass shards scattered on the carpet at it's base.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Don't panic, this will eventualy be Spuffy again I swear! But hopefully now you're starting to see why Buffy is acting the way she is, she's comfortable with Angel and Faith, she's afraid of getting in too deep with Spike, and there will be more explanations later... Hope you're all still liking this!


	23. The Space Between

A/N : You guys do know that I'm doing you a favour, right? If no bad stuff ever happened, the good stuff wouldn't seem half so special now would it? Okay so some of you aren't buying that excuse, and I know at least one person has given up on this fic, but hey, I'm entertaining the masses it seems, and you can't please all of the people all of the time. Thanx muchly to those who reviewed the previous chapter; kargrif, spuffy-monica, Ember91, Spuffy2008, Lifes-Slayer, sPIKEaNDmE, Moluvsnumber17, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, SpuffyChiclet, spiked-gurl, wicked-angel-413, kim, souled-angel, Sandra, Jessica, Spikez-babe91, Munkierieckl, bella-lover, Inuyasha-xcgirl, Decaf Love, casey, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Brunettepet, Ape18, and spuffygrl. Here's the next one!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 23 - The Space Between

"Hey B, you listenin'?" Faith asked with a frown as she shoved the girl next to her who seemed to be hypnotised by the view beyond the cab window.

"Sorry, what?" Buffy asked as she turned and glanced at her cousin, "Did you say something?"

"Damn, B! What is on your mind, girl?" Faith wanted to know.

"Whatever it is, I got ways I can get rid of it for you" Angel told the blonde who knew from the look on his face precisely what he had in mind.

"It's nothing" Buffy shook her head and painted a grin on her face, "I'm fine, I'll just be glad to get out of here, get back home where I belong" she smiled, crying still on the inside and at the same time telling herself what an idiot she was for feeling this way.

Spike had disappeared without a trace from Giles House, the only sign he'd been in his room recently was the smashed mirror that had been fully intact not an hour ago. He wasn't in any of the places he would usually go, not even the attic room that he'd called his sanctuary when he'd first shown it to Buffy. She'd looked everywhere, hoping to at least say a proper goodbye before she left him behind, but the longer the search went on, the more angry she got at him for running away. Despite the fact she was doing a worse version of the same thing, Buffy couldn't help but loathe the fact Spike had put distance between them.

Clearly he didn't love her like he said he did. Though he looked a little hurt when she'd kissed Angel, he hadn't fought for her or anything, just let her go. Princes and knights in fairytales always fought for their princesses and the love they had for them. It had felt like a fairytale last night, making love with Spike and waking up this morning in his arms, feeling so alive and adored and everything she'd always wanted to feel and never thought she really would.

Now it seemed the fairytale was over, no happy ever after for Buffy and the man she thought she loved. As much as she'd convinced herself Spike didn't love her, she'd also spent her time convincing herself she didn't ever love him. She wanted him and it was more difficult for her to have him, so it made her desire for him increase. When they spent the night together maybe that had been why it was so spectacular, because it was something she'd been forced to wait for. There was no reason to suppose that they'd ever really been in love, she wouldn't be leaving if she loved him and he wouldn't be letting her do it if he truly loved her.

Staying here, letting Faith and Angel walk out of her life and knowing she'd never see them again scared Buffy just too much. She had to go with them, they were her family to all intents and purposes these days, and as much as Giles and Spike and the others could pretend they knew her, they had no idea who the real Buffy Summers was, even the blonde herself wasn't sure anymore.

"So like I was saying'" Faith said as Buffy tuned back in to the conversation from her deep thoughts, "When I called the airport from the fricken mansion back there, they said no more spaces on flights to LA til tomorrow evening, seems we got some time to kill" she grinned shooting Angel a suggestive look that Buffy noticed all too plainly.

"You got a place to go?" she asked, "I mean, hotel rooms or whatever?"

"We got one" Faith shrugged, "Seemed stupid wastin' money on three rooms when we can all crash together, and save the rest of the cash for the better things in life" she smiled as she lounged in her seat and propped her feet up next to Angel on the other side of the cab.

Buffy glanced between her cousin and the man opposite, all the pieces finally clicking into place. There was more to this than just Faith bringing Angel as a surprise for her, she'd brought him for a playmate too, someone to share the lonely nights with. As much as she liked, maybe loved in a way, her cousin, Buffy did not appreciate knowing that a guy who was practically her boyfriend had been banging Faith while she was away.

"You okay, baby?" Angel asked the blonde as she looked at him strangely.

"Sure" she smiled sexily as she got up from her seat. Knocking Faith's feet away she sat down beside Angel, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a hungry kiss that took him somewhat by surprise. Still, he wasn't about to say no and had soon pulled his girl onto his lap, his hands sliding inside her clothing, and parts of him rising to the occasion as they naturally do. That seemed to sober Buffy up immensley from her sudden bout of jealous passion and she was back across the cab in no time.

"What happened?" Angel gasped for air, looking a little surprised that his arms and his lap were suddenly empty.

"Nothing much" Buffy smirked, "Nothing big" she stressed her words a certain way, looking at Faith who busted up laughing as she got the joke. Inside a part of Buffy was cursing herself for being so crude and misbehaving in such a way, but loud and outspoken was just the way she was and if she wanted to kiss Angel that way why the hell shouldn't she? It wasn't as if she was cheating on Spike, he didn't want her anymore, he'd had his way with her and that was that, no more to it.

If she kept telling herself she was better off with her friends heading back for LA, Buffy hoped she might eventually believe it, that it would in time become true. The other option, letting her heart rule her head and running back to Giles House in the vain hopes the love between herself and William Rayne had been real, that was just too scary to contemplate.

* * *

It was dark and quiet in the woods beyond Giles House. It was one place William hardly ever went and was sure he'd never been with Buffy. It was perfect therefore since she'd never find him there, even if she bothered to look which somehow he doubted very much. He was also glad that no-one else should look for him here, and therefore not see him crying like a baby.

What a fool he was to believe a girl like Buffy would love him, that she was even capable of such an emotion, and yet she'd looked so sincere when she'd said it. Though he had no frame of reference of course, he was almost certain it was impossible to fake the look in her eyes, the way her body reacted when they made love, but clearly he'd been mistaken. She was an expert in the bedroom, she'd told him honestly enough before. Clearly pretending to be in love came as simply as acting like she enjoyed each and every tumble, even when it was less pleasant as sometimes it doubtless was.

William sat on an old tree stump in the woods for hours thinking about everything, crying at intervals and laughing painfully at others as he realised what a true idiot he must be to have been fooled by this woman. He'd changed for her, done everything he could to win her affections. She'd laughed when he told her he loved her, only to almost beg his forgiveness afterwards, until they finally realised their feelings for each other were too strong for them to hide. On his part everything he'd appeared to feel for her had been real, but it seemed for Buffy it had been all a game, if her passionate kissing and groping with that sod Angel was anything to go by.

"Bloody stupid git" William cursed himself, looking and sounding more like his Spike persona the more angry he got with himself. He got to his feet and paced up and down, kicking fallen branches out of his way and yelling at some invisible entity apparently.

"Been so bloody stupid, I have, let her get to me!" he yelled, "Let her change me, make me this.. whatever it is I've become and then leave me!" he shook his head, stopping his pacing as he fought further tears, determined to be strong.

"Don't need the bloody likes of her, do just fine without her..." his voice trailed away as he thought of the girl and how she had dealt with pain, frustration, guilt, and jealously. Violence and passion overtook her, burned up all that surplus emotion till she felt better for it. In an insane moment Spike decided what he was going to do and strode out of the woods back towards the house.

* * *

"Y'know for a while there I thought you'd changed bein' here in England" Faith shook her head before downing another shot sized bottle from the mini bar, "But when you pulled that stunt in the car, that rocked man. That was the B we know and missed" she laughed and Buffy did the same. Her cousin had one of the those loud and infectious laughs that you just couldn't resist joining in with.

"Angel needs keeping in check is all" the blonde shrugged, speaking of the man who was currently in the shower, "He thinks just cos he's been screwing you so easily he can have me every time he snaps his fingers" she said almost nastily as she too downed a drink.

"You got a problem with it?" the brunette asked her with a look.

"You and Angel?" Buffy scoffed, "Knock yourself out" she told her cousin, "It's not like he's anything special, he's just better than a lot I've had" she explained, mentally adding that Spike was the very best she'd ever had in more ways than one, and way more special than Angel or any other man on the planet.

"He's a guy, B" Faith reminded her, "Ain't none of 'em special enough to bust up a friendship over, or a cousin-ship, whatever the hell it is we got" she laughed as she clinked another bottle with the one in Buffy's hand and they downed them together.

"Shame we drank so much" Faith said suddenly looking down at the pile of bottles on the bed, "Could've had an enlightening round of Truth or Drink with Angel" she smirked as she thought about it.

Her words made Buffy thoughtful too, but again it was Spike that filled her mind. They'd played that game, and she'd confessed things to him that she'd never told anyone else as he'd done the same. She didn't realise but the first part of her thought she had spoken aloud and Faith now wanted to know more.

"You get anything interestin' outta him?" she asked and Buffy looked at her a moment before she shook her head.

"Nothing good" she shrugged, lying easily, "He was fun but... y'know"

"Only good for one thing" Faith sighed, "Was he good?" she wanted to know as she clambered off the bed to fetch more alcohol.

"He was... It was..." she stumbled over what she meant to say, momentarily considering confiding her true feelings in her cousin but backing out at the last moment when the brunette looked at her strangely, "It was just a ride" Buffy shrugged, "Nothing to get excited about"

"Uh-huh" was all Faith said, but there was something about her expression that made Buffy look away. Could her cousin read minds suddenly, could she see that she was lying outright not just to her but maybe even to herself?

"Anyone wants the shower I'm done" Angel announced as he walked back into the room, stark naked and dripping wet. The small towel in his hand he used to get some of the moisture out of his hair and Faith looked on, admiring the view. Buffy did the same, though in her head she was just comparing every aspect of his body with Spike's own.

'Stop it, stop it now!' she snapped inside her head, 'Spike means nothing more than Angel or any other guy...'

She had her eyes closed as the voices in her head battled it out and it startled her somewhat when she felt Angel's lips land on hers, his fingers sliding into her hair as he kissed her til she was breathless.

"What do you say we call it a night already, baby?" he smirked as he pulled away.

"I dunno, Angel" she squirmed away from him and glanced at Faith who just shrugged.

"Hey don't mind me" she told them, "You want some time I can clear out"

"Oh come on, Faithie" Angel grinned as he grabbed her wrist when she tried to walk by him to the door, "Where's your sense of adventure?" he asked her, "There's plenty to go around" he told her with a truly dirty look. Buffy's stomach turned over when the two of them looked at her expectantly and she realised what they meant. Maybe before the idea wouldn't have shocked and repulsed her so much, but now, after what she'd shared with Spike...

"What do you say, B?" Faith asked her with a smirk, "Feel like sharin' the fun?"

"No" she said sharply, shaking her head, "No, if you two wanna... that's fine, I'll go" she said, quickly making for the door and out into the hall before Faith or Angel could stop her.

"England has definitely changed her" Angel frowned, before suddenly throwing Faith onto the bed and joining her there.

* * *

"So then I said 'Screw you, loser! You can't treat me that way' and he was all like 'I can do what I want, I'm a guy' so I was like 'Well, if you can do it I can too, cos I'm a strong woman, and I'm beautiful, and I'm just... better!'" Harmony, a ditzy and very annoying blonde, continued to re-enact her latest fight with her boyfriend to a rather inebriated Spike, who was finding that the more he drank, the more Harmony looked like Buffy and the less irritating her squeaky voice became.

"I agree, luv" he told her, not really sure what she'd been talking about, "Wholeheartedly with whatever you just said" he smirked.

"It's so great to find a guy who understands me" Harmony gushed, "There should be more guys like you, Spikey" she grinned, a little drunk herself it seemed as she got up from her bar stool and almost fell over her own feet.

"Where you goin'?" Spike slurred a little as he grabbed hold of her by the waist and pulled her close to him, "Thought we were talkin'"

"We were, I mean, we are" Harmony agreed, "I just, have to go to the bathroom" she told him in a whisper.

Without thinking Spike took advantage of her closeness to pull her into a passionate kiss that left her even more dizzy than when it had begun.

"Wow" the girl gasped when he finally let her go, "You're so good at that"

"Plenty were that came from, pet" he told her with a look as his hands slid down her body.

"I'm counting on it" Harmony giggled, as she leaned in to his him again, "I won't be long" she whispered as she walked away at last, headed for the bathroom.

"Better not be, luv" Spike called behind her, "I get bored easily"

"You really are an insufferable idiot" he suddenly heard behind him and almost knocked himself off his stool as he turned to see who was there.

"Wesley?" he frowned, "What the soddin' hell are you doin' here?"

"Looking for you, you pillock" the other young man snapped back as he got hold of Spike by the arm and got him to his feet, "We're going back to the house"

"Bugger off!" the bleached blond protested, shrugging him off, "On a promise I am, mate. Not leavin' here with you and looking like a right poofter when I've got me a right goer lined up"

"William, for God sakes we both know why you're doing this" Wes sighed, "And if you weren't so bloody drunk you'd realise as I do that you'll regret it in the morning, or possibly sooner"

Spike just snorted and reached for his drink across the bar, downing the remains in one and ordering a refill.

"She is not Buffy" Wes said making Spike tense up, "She is not her and she never will be, and I cannot believe you're about to use that girl, just to make yourself feel better, which it most probably wouldn't anyway"

"What do you know!" Spike yelled as he spun round to face him, "Me and Buffy, you don't know what we had... what I thought we had..." he said, looking to be in so much pain. Wes felt bad for him really, but he knew copious amounts of alcohol and rough sex with random blondes was not going to improve the situation for Spike, not in the long run.

"I know" Wes sympathised, "I can't imagine how much pain I would feel if Willow were to leave me as Buffy has done to you" he shook his head, "but this is not the way to solve the problem. Spike might not know that" he said, stressing his name, "But William does, he has more sense than this"

Spike laughed painfully, almost maniacally as he sank back down on the stool once again, tears springing from his eyes.

"Nothing's ever gonna help is it?" he groaned, "Nothing's gonna take this pain away, what that stupid bint's done to me! Made me feel like... and then with that git... and back to America..." he mumbled half sentences as Wes got him to his feet and forcibly moved him towards the door, in a desperate hurry to leave the club before Harmony reappeared and tempted William away from good sense once again.

Spike didn't notice he'd been moving till the fresh air hit him like a smack in the face, making his head swim.

"Oh God" he groaned and Wes just managed to get out of the firing line before his friend was spectacularly sick, "Oh bloody hell" he said afterwards, "I think I'm dying"

"Doubtful" Wes sighed, "Just very drunk, and very hurt I should imagine. Probably best we get you home. Giles is having a panic and poor Willow refused to go to bed till I found you and brought you home"

"You're a lucky bloke, Wes" Spike told him as he scrambled to his feet, wobbling a great deal as he did so, "Red's a decent sort, loves you, wouldn't ever hop the country with some poncy git..."

"Buffy has not left the country" Wes chipped in. He hadn't planned to tell Spike that, at least not until the morning when he was sober, but he just couldn't bear to hear him going on and on, "I overhead her cousin, Faith, on the telephone before they left the House" he explained, "There are no flights until tomorrow evening"

"Doesn't matter" Spike shrugged as Wes helped him into the back of the car, "She doesn't love me like I thought. Might as well be an ocean between us" he said sadly as the car door was shut with a thud, making his stomach lurch. He felt like hell, and how could that ever improve, now Buffy was out of his life?

* * *

Buffy wiped tears from her face as she sat at the bar in the hotel lobby. It was a pretty fancy place, Faith could afford it with Mommy and Daddy's platinum cards to spend on, and besides they only had the one room for a couple of nights.

"You okay, Miss?" the kindly looking man behind the bar asked her.

"I'm fine" she snapped more harshly than she knew she should've. A moment later, she heard the barman say to another to be careful how they spoke to her, because he reckoned he was having man trouble.

She laughed painfully at that. Buffy had man trouble from Day One, always treating them badly, and letting them do the same to her. Just when she thought she'd found something different, better, special, she realised she must've been wrong. Spike couldn't have loved her how she thought, and the understanding she thought she had with Angel seemed to mean nothing anymore.

Buffy was alone in the world, even in company she felt that way, and she pretty much always had, ever since her parents passed away. The only time she had felt truly content was in the company of Spike. Talking to him, spending time, being in his arms, sharing his bed. All those times she'd felt like she really belonged, that she was loved and wanted, and in no way alone. Now she knew she'd been a fool for letting herself feel such things, for imagining that kind of heaven could last long. Right now, she felt like hell, and how could that ever improve, now Spike was out of her life?

To Be Continued...


	24. The Chase

**A/N : Thanx to all my fabulous reviewers; kargrif, Brunettepet, bella-lover, spuffy-monica, igore, Ember91, Moluvsnumber17, aej1085, Inuyasha-xcgirl, SpuffyChiclet, Spuffy2008, Lifes-Slayer, wicked-angel413, Ape18, souled-angel, Sandra, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, eternalgorithm, kim, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Decaf Love, casey, Daniel Wesley Rydell, funkydevil206, Spikez-babe91, Liraels Mogget. So glad you're all enjoying (possibly the wrong word!) the fic so much, you all get so passionate about it, it's amazing! Oh, and a quick note to the anonymous reviewer who I seem to offend so much, no, I don't care who does and does not read this fic - please feel free to stop reading at any time if you are so offended andangered by what I write. For those of you who want to read this fic, here's the next chapter.  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 24 - The Chase

"Good afternoon" Giles called deliberately loudly as his nephew stumbled into the dining room at lunch time holding his head.

"What's soddin' good about it?" Spike muttered, feeling like death warmed up.

He hadn't meant to get quite so wasted last night, but at least drinking was all he had done. Despite the fact he felt terrible he remembered everything that had happened at the club. Harmony, the drunken ditz, and Wes coming to save him from himself, but most of all the pain. Oh he remembered the pain that lingered, like a knife in his heart. It was still far worse than anything that was happening in his head this morning.

"If you will drink in such copious amounts, you must learn to cope with the after effects" Giles snapped a little too harshly as he ate his meal, "I'm sure your father could help you with that"

Spike closed his eyes and sighed before walking unsteadily over to the table and sitting down by his Uncle. The smell of the food made his stomach lurch and there was simply no way he'd be eating anything just yet, he was sure.

"You know I'm nothing like him" he reminded the older man, "Last night was... I did a bloody stupid thing, probably would've done worse if not for Wes coming over there and dragging me out of that club" he explained, "Still, I don't plan on making a habit out of it. God only knows how anybody finds drinking and such to be a cure for anything. Reckon I'm in more pain now than I was before" he said, putting his head in his hands on the table, "God what's happened to my life?" he moaned.

"Well, a few days ago I might have said it had taken a turn for the worse" Giles admitted, "but it seems it was not as bad as I first thought"

"What are you talking about?" Spike asked, glancing up at him with a questioning look.

"What I am saying, William, is that you have evidently changed" his Uncle told him, "Both yourself and Buffy. I did believe she might be using you at first, and indeed her actions now might serve to prove my theory" he said and Spike hated to hear it, despite the fact he'd had the same thought himself several times.

"However" Giles surprised him by continuing, "It seems to me it may not be as simple as I thought, but then where love is involved it never can be simple, now can it?"

"How should I bloody know?" Spike said grumpily, "'S not like she felt anything real for me"

"William Timothy Rayne at times you are completely insufferable" his Uncle snapped, slamming his knife down on the edge of the plate and making Spike's head throb all the more. He watched Giles get up from the table and head for the door, quickly getting to his feet Spike followed.

"What did I bloody do?" he wanted to know, "I treated her decently, I loved her like I never loved anyone, and all she wanted was... was to use me" he said bitterly, finding that saying it aloud somehow made it hurt even more.

"If that were the case, William" Giles sighed, "Do you really think she would have waited this long to leave? Do you really think you would be the only young man here she would... take a shine to, as it were?" he asked him, "I too suspected the girl of playing games as you know, but there was something, the fact she couldn't look at you when her friends were here, she looked too pained by it all... and then I remembered something else" he admitted as he removed his glasses and polished them on his handkerchief.

"Remembered what?" William asked curiously.

"The day you returned home from London" Giles told him, "The day you told Ethan exactly what you thought of his behaviour"

"Yeah, bet that made you really proud" Spike snorted as he thought of it, "Me being a loud-mouth brawler just like that git"

"Indeed William, I could not blame you" Giles smiled as he replaced his glasses on his nose, "Your father has been so much less than he ought to have been and whilst your sudden change in both looks and attitude shocked me somewhat I was indeed very proud of you for standing up to the man who has held you back so long"

Spike smiled at that, feeling stupidly touched by the fact his Uncle was proud of him. He was the only person who ever really bothered about him, expect for Dru of course, and he'd thought Buffy. That led to another thought.

"What does that have to do with this situation with Buffy?" he checked, a frown marring his features.

"Ah, yes" Giles nodded as he remembered what he'd originally been saying, "After your conflict with Ethan, you stormed away, and Buffy and I both came after you. We met on the landing and we had the strangest conversation, I'd almost completely forgotten it until last night. She asked me if I'd ever been in love, and if I had, how I had known exactly what it was I felt"

The look on Spike's face was a strange one as many mixed emotions ran through him.

"I can see no reason why she would ask such a question if she did not suspect her feelings for you ran deeper than she originally thought" Giles told him, waiting for a reaction. Eventually Spike answered him.

"Then why would she leave like she did?" he asked bitterly, "If she loved me so damn much, why didn't she say so?"

"How long did you love her before you found the courage to tell her?" Giles countered, making Spike look away.

"Reckon I fell a little bit in love with her from the first moment I laid eyes on her" he smirked, "Bloody idiot I was about it too"

"William" Giles sighed, "If you still love the girl, which clearly you do, and she could be strongly suspected of feeling the same, then go and find her, talk to her. For heavens sake man have at it before you drive us all to distraction"

"She could be anywhere" Spike said as he began to consider what Giles was saying. He did still love Buffy, of course he did, and he was so certain before that she loved him. She'd told him so, it'd scared her half to death but she'd done it. Maybe that was it then, she was clinging to the familiar, so afraid of admitting her feelings of love for him were stronger than anything else. It was quite frightening really, to feel so deeply for someone, to have fallen so fast, but that didn't mean he could let go so easily.

"I would doubt very much she has gone far" Giles reminded him, "Did I not hear Wesley and Willow saying there would be no flights to Los Angeles until this evening?"

"Yeah" Spike snapped his fingers, "You're bloody right" he realised, as he made his best effort to hurry up the stairs to get ready to leave, the worst of his hangover seemingly forgotten as he moved towards his room.

"Was that William?" Willow asked as she appeared behind her employer, "Is he okay?"

"Yes, my dear" Giles assured the girl, "I do believe he will be fine, just so long as he can get to the airport in one piece and on time"

* * *

"You want?" Faith asked, holding out a hip flask to Buffy who declined.

They were sitting in the airport, waiting for their flight which was due to leave in two hours, Faith sitting sideways on one seat with her legs hanging over into Angel's lap next to her. Buffy was opposite her supposed friends with her headphones in her ears and the volume of the music pumped right up. With her eyes closed and the rhythm pounding she could block out all reasonable thought, well, almost anyway. The memories of Spike just refused to leave her alone no matter how she tried to banish them from her mind. Words they'd said, things they'd done, nothing was loud enough to drown out the memories and Buffy was getting to the point where she felt like screaming.

She opened her eyes only to see Angel whispering in Faith's ear, his hand sliding up her thigh as she laughed loudly. What bothered Buffy about that particular situation was that she didn't care. Surely it should hurt to know her cousin and her almost-boyfriend had been doing it all the time she'd been away and still were in fact, but she felt nothing, just numb and a little nauseous as she watched their public display. People were staring, pointing, talking about Faith and Angel and not in a good way. That could so easily have been her a month ago, not caring what the world thought, and whilst that was still mostly true, the opinions of some people mattered, the people at Giles House.

'Am I doing the right thing?' she asked herself as her CD ended and she pulled her headphones from her ears. It was scary to admit she cared for Spike and to believe he might actually love her like he'd said, but the thought of going back to LA appealed a lot less than it should right now.

"Oh my God" a woman gasped across the room and Buffy turned to see a man on one knee with a ring in his hand, apparently proposing to his stunned girlfriend who was crying tears of joy as she accepted and the ring was put onto her finger before the couple kissed each other passionately. They just looked so in love and it made Buffy's heart ache to watch them together, knowing she might have had something like that one day if she'd have been less scared, if she'd have stayed with Spike.

Faith appeared at her side then, making a wretching sound and pretending to push her fingers down her throat as she watched the newly engaged couple.

"Another lamb to the slaughter" she said with a shake of her head.

"Yeah" Buffy answered absently, eyes not moving from the embracing pair just yet, "Er, I have to go" she said suddenly scrambling to her feet.

"What's up?" Faith asked with a frown and Buffy shook her head.

"Nothing, I just... need to go to the bathroom" she said, forcing a smile as she walked away, and shifting her bag on her shoulder as she went.

"Something is not right with her" Angel said to Faith as they watched her go.

"Maybe" the girl said thoughtfully, "Or maybe somethin' is finally right with her" she said absently as Angel wrapped his arms around her once again.

* * *

"Hey William" Xander smiled as the bleached blond came into the garage in his black and red outfit once again, "Or should I be calling you Spike now?" he checked.

"Whatever you want, mate" Spike shook his head, "I don't really have time to talk right now. Places to be, women to catch" he said as he selected a car to drive to the airport.

"You can't go" the brunette shook his head, "The way Will and Wes tell it you were pretty wasted last night, there's no way you should be driving"

"Appreciate the concern Xand, but I'm not losing Buffy, I can't, not without at least making an effort to talk to her" Spike told him firmly as he pushed the button on the keys in his hand and the alarm beeped on the Viper across the garage, "Had to be this one" he smirked as he advanced on the vehicle, but Xander got in his way.

"Look, I know it's none of my business" he said fast, not loving the almost nasty look in the eyes of one who used to be so docile, "but your Uncle would kill me if he knew I let you drive out of here when I knew it wasn't safe. Let me drive" he offered.

Spike considered for a brief moment before handing over the keys and jumping into the passenger seat of the car.

"Let's go" he said, "And put your bloody foot down, alright?"

"Sure thing" the brunette nodded as he pulled the seatbelt across himself and slipped the key into the ignition. He grinned, loving the fact he was finally getting to drive such a great car further than the end of the driveway!

"Let's rock and roll"

* * *

The voice over the tanoy made a final call for the LA flight and Angel was growing impatient of waiting. Faith had run off almost a half hour ago to find Buffy and was still not back. Two more minutes and she'd be too late.

"What the hell is going on...?" he muttered to himself when suddenly the brunette came into view, "Faith! Get your ass over here!"

"She ain't there, Angel" the girl told him with a frown, "She ain't anywhere"

"The flight is leaving now, we have to go without her" Angel said firmly.

"I dunno, man" Faith shook her head as she glanced around, "She can't have just disappeared, I mean..."

"Faith!" a voice called and she swung around to see Spike hurrying towards her.

"Angel, go" she told him firmly, "I'll be there in two seconds"

He gave her a quizzical look before doing as she said and passing through the gate to board the plane.

"Yo, Spike" Faith said as he reached her, "Buffy ain't here"

"What do you mean?" he asked looking panicked, "She can't have gone already, she can't have just..."

Faith held up a hand to silence him.

"Spike, I got like one minute here so shut up and listen" she told him, "Buffy's changed, I saw it yesterday, more than once, and today was like the last straw. She's not like me, man, she thinks she is but we're not the same. I was born to be wild, she came along for the ride. She was always waiting for her prince to come, y'know? I figured she'd get over it since there ain't no guy in the land ever gonna make either of us fall, but you did it"

"What are you sayin' to me, pet?" Spike checked, wanting to make sure he'd understood properly.

"I'm sayin' you win, she's yours" Faith grinned, as she backed towards the gate, "I know that girl better than anyone, and I know she wants you, pretty much think she loves you, so if you can find her and tell her you feel all that stuff for her too, I think she might get the happy ever after her eight year old self is still lookin' for" the girl winked as she handed over her boarding pass and disappeared from sight.

Xander came running up behind Spike, having just managed to find a safe parking space.

"Are we too late?" he asked breathlessly, hands on his knees as he bent double and tried to get oxygen into his lungs, "Did we miss the Buffster?"

"No, she's not here" Spike shook his head as a smile came over his face, "But we made it just in time"

_To Be Continued...  
_


	25. The Lonely Days

**A/N : Yeah, I know, I'm majorly mean for my twisty turny plots and my cliffhangers, but on the up side you guys don't seem to mind too much and keep on reading, and writing awesome reviews for me! Thanx so much for all the reviews. As I understand it the site here now prefers that we don't answer reviews in chapters so this is where I stop writing everybody's name up here, but my sincerest thanks to all of you - if you reviewed, then I mean you! Any particular questions or points I get in reviews that I think require an answer, I will reply with the newly provided private messenging system.  
**_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 25 - The Lonely Days

"Hey" Buffy smiled as Spike finally woke up beside her.

"Hello, luv" he said as he kissed her softly, "You been awake long?"

"A little while" she admitted, "I was just... this is going to sound so majorly weird but, I was just watching you sleep, watching you breathe, it's... I like it. I like knowing you're here with me" she told him, eyes down because she was too embarrassed to look at him, "Sometimes I'm scared that if I fall asleep, the next time I wake up you'll be gone, and it'll all have been a dream"

Spike leaned over her and made her look at him, his fingers lingering at her cheek.

"Buffy, I love you so much" he told her sincerely, "You mean so much to me. We belong together, and I'm never going anywhere"

"I know" she whispered back, "I love you too" she said right before their lips met in a moment of passion. Their arms wound around each other as the proverbial fireworks went off in their heads, exploding with love as their bodies came together once again...

The over-zealous bleeping of the alarm clock jolted Spike awake from another delicious dream that were wonderful when he was having them and so painful when they ended abruptly. He sighed as he rolled over and hit the clock to make it stop it's noise, then lay on his back staring at the ceiling.

Six nights had passed since Buffy had left, and in each and every one he had dreamt of her. Though where they took place and precisely what happened differed each time, the main point was the same. They were together and they were in love and for a few precious moments Spike felt whole, complete, content. By the harsh light of day, realising all he had of her right now was thoughts and memories, it made Spike feel as wretched as he ever had done.

Last Sunday, when he'd raced to the airport to stop his love from leaving him, he'd managed to catch Faith as she boarded the plane. She told him Buffy was gone, though where she didn't know. What she did know was that her blonde cousin belonged with Spike and not back in LA with herself and that tall, dark, and forehead fella she'd brought along for the ride.

Spike put his hands over his face and then ran his fingers back through his hair. He'd had it bleached again, the day after the airport trip. He knew Buffy liked it and when he found her he wanted everything to be perfect. Spike had been so certain of her turning up at Giles House, maybe even being there when he got back with Xander that same day, but as the hours and days ticked by he realised wherever she'd run too, it wasn't the House.

The local hotels had no record of Buffy Summers, and the one she'd stayed at with Faith told Spike the young woman and her friends had gone Sunday night and none of them had come back. At a loss as to know where else to look, all Spike could do was wait and hope, at least that's what Giles had said. He himself had tried to call the Wilkins in California but several times he got no answer on the phone. When he finally got through they seemed less that bothered about their niece's welfare and seemed to even blame her for Faith's running away!

Spike had sat on the stairs and listened as Giles yelled uncharacteristically at Buffy's Aunt and Uncle, firmly putting them in their place for the way they'd treated his God-daughter. It had made the bleached blond smile, but not for long. He missed Buffy terribly, and the thought of her being gone from his life forever was killing him.

With a sigh he dragged himself out of bed and into his clothes before wandering down to breakfast, despite the fact he wasn't at all hungry. He met Willow in the main foyer as she polished the side tables and such.

"Mornin' Red" he greeted her half heartedly, "Giles about, is he?" he asked her.

"He had a meeting" she told him, "But he said he'd try to be back before you left" she smiled.

Spike was planning on visiting Drusilla as he did most weekends. Last Saturday and Sunday, amongst everything that had happened with Buffy, he'd missed his trip to the institution. He had of course made sure he called his sister to explain and she seemed okay with his having missed seeing her. She rambled some apparent nonsense about pixies in her head, and some knight in rusty armour, before giggling and telling him she would look forward to seeing both him and Buffy next week. Spike hadn't had the heart to tell her he couldn't find the girl his sister had taken such a shine to, and that he himself was so head over heels in love with now. No point in distressing poor Dru with his troubles, besides those few days ago he'd assumed he'd have found his blonde goddess by now, seemed he was wrong.

Spike felt ridiculous when he realised tears were forming in his eyes and he sniffed as he roughly wiped them away. Five weeks it was since Buffy had danced her way into his world. She'd stolen his heart in that moment, though he hadn't realised it then. As they'd got to know each other, they'd both changed a great deal, and yet things had ended just as they'd begun. Her running off and hiding, proof of her selfishness and fear combined, and him crying over her like the total ponce he still was underneath it all.

"It'll work out, y'know" Willow said, smiling sadly as she dared to reach out her arms and hug Spike. He was such a nice guy, always treated her and everyone else like they mattered. Buffy had changed his clothes and hair, given him a confidence in himself that was not a bad thing, but she'd also broken his heart and Willow hated to see him suffer.

"I have to think so, Red" Spike sighed as he hugged her back for a moment and then released her, "Can't stand to think I might not see her again. Keep dreaming about her, 's drivin' me crazy"

"I'll bet she misses you too" Willow told him making him almost laugh, "William, I know she's hurt you, but I think she might be hurting herself too. She loves you, I'm sure she does"

"Believed it before" Spike sighed, "Startin' to wonder now... I know you're right really, deep down I do" he admitted, "She told me, she looked so sincere, but it scares her I know it does"

"Love's a scary thing" Willow nodded, "Makes you do the wacky sometimes"

Spike smirked at her phrasing as he stood there with his hands in his pockets now, feeling so lost.

"Just hopin' the next 'wacky' thing Buffy decides to do is come back here" he sighed, "She comes off all hard and bitchy but underneath it all, she's just a little girl Will, a scared and lonely little girl that's so frightened that if she let's herself love someone they'll be taken away from her" he said as he remembered the conversation they'd had the morning after their first time together.

"I can't imagine what she went through" Willow shook her head, "It was hard enough when my Dad died, but I was older and I had Xander and my Mom and everything" she recalled, "Buffy was so young and her parents were really all she had"

"I could kill her bleedin' Aunt and Uncle for what they've done to her" he said, suddenly looking so angry, "They made her suffer almost as much as the scum that took her parents from her" he said with a shake of his head, "Poor bint got caught up in her cousin's jet stream and spiralled out of control til she..."

"Til she met you?" Willow smiled as she finished his sentence for him, "You showed her Will, you did it. Showed her that life doesn't have to be all black and dark and violent. She didn't just change you, you changed her too, or maybe you didn't change her to anything, just back into what she always should have been..." she frowned as her sentence ran on too much, "and that all sounded way better in my head" she admitted.

"Think I got the gist, pet" Spike smirked, "And I appreciate what you're trying to say, but I'm startin' to think maybe I need to get on with my life. 'S one thing to hope Buffy might come back but, I can't let her take over everything"

"I guess" Willow agreed, though she wasn't sure how she'd ever deal if Wesley went out of her life. He meant so much to her, if he was to up and leave like Buffy had done to Spike, she wondered if she could get on with things and forget so easily. She doubted it was going to be so simple for Spike either, but she respected him for trying.

* * *

Even with the music blaring from the radio all the way, Spike found the journey to the institution far too quiet and uneventful. For the last couple of miles he attempted to cheer himself up, look happy and upbeat for Dru's sake, but in reality he was tired and fairly depressed. Still, it would not do for his sister to see him so down. Her pain was his pain and vice versa. If he went in there looking like a wet weekend she would only get upset herself and that became a vicious circle as he would feel wretched for distressing her.

The nurse led him up to the room and checked everything was okay before letting him inside. The strange smile on the older woman's face made him wonder if she knew something he didn't and it wasn't until he got right into Drusilla's room and turned around he realised what that something was.

"Here he comes, our special prince" the pale skinned girl grinned, clapping her hands as she ran at her brother, "Look what the naughty fairies of fate have done" she giggled as she looked between Spike and the girl that sat on the bed.

"Buffy?" he gasped in apparent shock as he stared at her, "I don't..." he didn't have words for what he wanted to say and Buffy herself seemed similarly at a loss as she got to her feet but remained several feet away.

"Now the happy fireflies can dance again" Drusilla smiled as she led Spike by the hand until he was standing a few inches in front of the young woman he loved, "All is right with the world" his sister said firmly as she picked up Buffy's hand too and placed the two people's palms together.

Spike and Buffy hardly noticed what she was doing as their eyes remained locked. It was only when their fingers touched and familiar electric shot up their arms that they realised.

"Well, come on then" Dru snapped, clapping her hands twice and looking almost cross with them, "Why won't you kiss and make up, you silly kittens"

"Drusilla" Spike gave her a warning look, though it took all his willpower to take his eyes off Buffy for even that briefest of moments. He looked back when he felt Buffy's hand slip away from his and she went back to playing the edge of the modest blouse she wore. She actually looked fairly smart and demure in her pants and shirt. Though her clothes were still black, her make-up was almost non-existent and the dark streaks in her hair had almost completely grown out by now. She looked terribly young and scared suddenly, but only for a moment until the shutters went down and her eyes hardened.

"I should go" she said, turning to grab her purse and jacket. Dru's hand on her arm stopped her.

"No" she snapped, "I won't stamp your permission slip, you can't leave yet"

"Dru" she whined, not wanting to upset the girl but not sure how to deal with Spike either. A part of her knew she was likely to find him if she came here on the weekend, so perhaps that was what she wanted deep down, but she was so confused by her feelings for him. All he had to do was look at her and he overwhelmed her, and right now his eyes would not leave her face.

"Please, Buffy" he begged of her, "Stay a while, for Dru's sake if not for mine"

Closing her eyes for a moment Buffy took a deep breath and then released it as she sat down heavily on the bed once again.

"There now" Drusilla smiled, "Looks like sister dear shall stay then" she said delightedly, "Though we should stand her in the corner, for being such a naughty girl" she whispered to Spike who frowned slightly.

"What does she mean by that?" he asked Buffy who glanced away.

"Nothing" she said absently but Spike knew there had to be something in it. Drusilla talked a great deal of nonsense, but the strangest thing was, almost everything she'd said about Buffy had always meant something in the end, even her mad idea of them one day being sisters, since Spike was so in love with the blonde he knew he would one day want to marry her if she would have him.

"Hide and seek, hide and seek" Drusilla sing-songed, "Used her faith to hide when you peeked" she giggled.

"Faith?" Spike echoed, wondering what she had to do with Buffy's disappearing for the past week. Surely he'd seen her get on a plane back to LA with that poofter, Angel.

"I used her name, and some cash she gave me" Buffy admitted, "I've been staying at the hotel that you took me to, where Dawnie lives" she said, glancing up at him.

"Bloody hell" Spike gasped, "I checked there, but of course I asked if you were there. Never occurred to me you'd be so desperate to get away that you'd book in under someone else's soddin' name" he laughed humourlessly as he sank down into the chair opposite.

"I wasn't desperate to get away" Buffy argued, "Or maybe I was but... it's complicated" she sighed, hating that it was so true.

Drusilla glanced between the two then made a big deal of yawning loudly and rocking the dolly in her arms like a sleeping child.

"Princess and Miss Edith need their rest now" she said with a dramatic gesture, "Children should run along and play elsewhere" Dru told them as she closed her eyes as if to sleep, though she was still standing up in the centre of the room.

"Think that's a hint, luv?" Spike asked Buffy who couldn't help the slight smile that formed on her lips, partly from Drusilla's antics, and partly because it was so nice to hear Spike call her 'luv' again, even if it didn't necesarily mean quite what she hoped.

"Maybe we should go" she agreed, getting to her feet, "Although a moment ago certain princesses were telling me not to" she smiled as Dru opened one eye and looked at her.

"I do not need to hear your lovers chatter" she said with a shake of her head, "I would be peacemaker to your war, but now I shall be bridesmaid when the water is all safely under the bridge, and wrapped in Mummy's arms" she said seriously as she hugged Miss Edith too her, "One for sorrow, two for joy"

"'S what they say" Spike agreed as he moved to hug his sister, "I'll be back tomorrow, pet, I swear"

"Ssh, naughty William" she surprised him by scolding him as she pulled away, "Mummy says it's rude to swear"

He rolled his eyes as Buffy took her turn at saying goodbye to Dru, also promising to come back gain for another visit at some point, though when was not to be firmly settled yet.

Though Spike and Buffy left the building together, they didn't say a word until they reached the front desk. The assistant there asked Buffy is she would need a cab called to take her back to the hotel and the blonde glanced at Spike before answering.

"No, thanks" she smiled briefly at the other woman, "My friend will take me"

The two blondes continued out of the main doors and Buffy followed Spike over to the waiting car.

"Is that what I am then?" he asked as he unlocked it and they climbed in, "Just a friend?"

Buffy stared at him for a long moment before expelling a breath she didn't know she'd been holding and turning to look out of the passenger window and answering him almost too softly for him to hear.

"I wish I knew"

_To Be Continued...  
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	26. The Love

_**(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)**_

Chapter 26 - The Love

"Hey Buffy" Dawn smiled as the older girl came into the hotel. With no-one else to talk to, the blonde had spent some time with the hotel managers' daughter and found she wasn't half so bad as she first appeared. She talked a lot of sense for a girl her age and seemed glad to listen when Buffy needed to talk about things.

"Hey Dawnie, you okay?" the blonde replied as she came over to her with Spike close behind.

"I'm fine" Dawn answered, glancing between the two before her eyes stayed on Buffy, "You?"

"Jury's still out" Buffy admitted, "Me and Spike are gonna go upstairs, we need some time"

"Oh, I'll totally make sure you're not disturbed" the girl promised as she looked to her old friend and then moved to hug him, "She really missed you" she whispered in his ear so Buffy wouldn't hear her, "She's just scared"

Spike smiled at her as he released Dawn from his embrace, nodding that he understood that already.

"You two good friends now then, are you?" he asked, finding the concept a little strange but glad they got along in he was honest.

"Could say that" Buffy nodded once, shifting almost nervously by the stairs.

A part of her just wanted to get up to the privacy of her own room so she could figure things out with the man she knew she loved, and yet a part of her wanted to stay here too, so they didn't have to have that serious talk she knew was inevitable.

At length they headed for the stairs, once Dawn had given Spike approval on his new look and new name. He was still the sweet guy he'd always been, but the packaging had been improved, and no girl was going to object to that of course.

Buffy reached the door of her room and let herself and Spike inside. They stood a few feet apart in the centre of the room, neither very sure where to begin. It was so great to see each other again and yet they both had other emotions to deal with, all the anger and frustration and confusion.

"So, you've been staying here and callin' yourself Faith?" Spike checked, though he knew it was true since she'd already said it before, he just needed something to say to start some sort of conversation.

"Yes" Buffy nodded in reply, "I... I couldn't go back to LA. I don't think I belong there anymore, in that world with Faith and Angel" she shook her head as she looked at the ground, "I don't feel like I belong anywhere right now"

"You got some serious issues, you know that, Summers?" Spike sighed as she glanced up at him looking almost annoyed, "You and me, we belong together, doesn't matter where" he explained as if it were obvious, taking a step towards her, but careful not to move too fast. She was too used to men jumping on her and asking questions later, and as much as he wanted her right now, he'd wait till they'd got this sorted out before making a move.

"You don't even know me" she said frustratedly, "You think that you do but... God, I so can't do this" she shook her head turning her back on him as tears came to her eyes.

"No, see you can't do that" Spike told her sounding annoyed, "You can't just turn your back on a problem, run away all the time" he explained, "Sometimes you have to face it, talk about it..."

"I'm so sick of talking about it!" she told him, though she didn't turn around at all, "I'm sick of having all these thoughts, trying to put it all into words, it doesn't help, it doesn't mean anything!" she yelled, getting so frustrated by it all.

"Fine" she heard Spike reply and her heart clenched in her chest as she realised that getting mad at him wouldn't help, that it might make matters worse, he could be gone by the time she turned around. Buffy didn't realise quite how wrong she was about that until she did indeed turn around and found his body mere inches from her own.

"You don't wanna talk about it" he said softly, "Then we won't. We'll play it your way" he said.

Buffy opened her mouth to ask what he meant but she never got the chance as Spike pulled her to him and crushed his lips to hers.

For all the passion that exploded between them, true love lie behind it. This was different to before when they'd gotten close, and way better than being with any other man Buffy could remember. Spike made her feel things you only read about in books, only ever dreamed you could experience in real life. It had to be love, she knew it, she'd even told him so before. She'd tried to bury it so long but it wouldn't leave her and now she was back in his arms, with him kissing her til her head spun, she just couldn't think straight. The only thing that remained clear was that she wanted Spike, and that she truly loved him.

They stumbled back onto the bed together, kissing and touching and determined to keep contact with each other all the time, they needed it as much as they wanted it. Their clothes disappeared one thing at a time til they were naked together beneath the covers. Buffy could hardly breathe as Spike hovered over her and looked down into her eyes.

"I love you, Buffy" he told her, calling on every source of will power he had to not touch her again until she answered him in kind. It took her mere seconds to find the words.

"I love you too" she promised him, gasping as he finally entered her. She clung to him as they made love at last, both of them knowing that this was as good as it would ever be for either of them. This was love, pure and simple, and nothing else could ever feel the same.

When Spike finally collapsed beside her, Buffy couldn't help but cry. She was so overcome by a whole mass of emotions she was experiencing and so grateful when Spike pulled her into his arms and just held her for a while.

"I never meant to make you cry" he said after a while as he kissed he top of her head, "I don't want you to be upset, or scared... I just want to love you, Buffy"

"I know" she answered as she pulled her head up from his chest and looked at him properly, "and I wish it were as easy as that" she cried.

"Why can't it be that easy?" Spike frowned, "What we have... it's beyond anything I have words for. I love you so much, I hated the fact I couldn't find you, that I might never see you again"

"That's my point" Buffy laughed painfully, "I'm just so afraid that if we love each other this much, how will we deal when one of us goes away?" she asked him.

"Buffy, luv" Spike sighed, "I'm not going anywhere, so unless you plan on running out on me again, I don't see..." he stopped when she looked down and he suddenly realised what she meant, "This isn't even about us, is it?" he said as he put his fingers under her chin and made her look at him, "Buffy, what happened to your parents was tragic but you can't live your life worrying about things going badly like that. You do that and you forget to enjoy what you have right now" he told her, looking right into her eyes.

"You get that from one of your books?" she asked flatly, trying to look away but he wouldn't let her.

"From you" he told her simply, "Buffy, you came into my life and you turned it upside down. You showed me the world is bigger and brighter and possibly a little scarier than I thought" he smirked, "but bottom line, pet, you showed me what I was missing, and here you are willing to throw away something that could be so good between us, you're willing to miss all that, just because _maybe_ it could go wrong?"

Buffy stared at Spike for a long moment, trying to take in all that he'd said. It made sense, of course it did, but then he had been brought up properly and was well educated, he was supposed to have good sense, she realised. Whilst the words he said had an impact, it wouldn't have meant half so much had she not been looking into his eyes right now, seeing so much love for her within the crystal blue pools that held her gaze. Without a word she leaned in to kiss him softly.

"I love you, William Rayne" she said as she pulled away a little, "I love you more than I can ever tell you, and I won't deny it scares the hell out of me, but I trust you and being without you was so much harder than facing my fears and being with you" she admitted, linking her fingers with his on the pillow, "I wanna make this work somehow" she told him, "but I'm giving you advanced warning, I don't think its gonna be easy"

"Love's not supposed to be easy, pet" Spike told her gently, "If it were, it wouldn't be worth fighting for" he smiled, so elated that she'd even said she'd try to work things out with him. He was so sure they belonged together, and if today had made Buffy just the slightest bit interested in exploring what relationship they might have together, that was good enough for him.

Spike pulled her close and kissed her again, trying to pour every ounce of love and affection he had for her into the moment. He was pleased to see her smile when they parted for air.

"Spike" she breathed, "Do me one favour?"

"Name it, luv" he said as he looked at her, head tilted slightly.

"Take me home?" Buffy practically whispered. Spike kissed her hand where it lay held within his own.

"Your wish is my command"

* * *

"Car's here!" Xander called to his sister who grinned as she ran to the window to verify the sighting. It was true, the silver Viper with Spike in the drivers seat had just cleared the gates to the House and as Willow turned to tell her friend just that, she was a little surprised to find the blonde was shaking.

"What is wrong with me?" Buffy laughed at herself as she stood by the full length mirror, "I mean, I look okay, right?" she asked for the eighth time in as many minutes.

It was almost a year since she'd arrived back at Giles House with Spike at her side and spoken to Giles himself about the possibility of her staying at the mansion with him. She loathed her Aunt and Uncle, and no longer relished the thought of spending each and every day and night in LA with Faith and Angel. She needed to be with Spike, and he felt exactly the same. Papers were drawn up, arrangements were made and it was far from a simple operation but eventually Buffy Summers became a resident of the mansion that her God father owned. Spike too lived there during his breaks from University, but since it was a fair distance away in London, his Uncle kept an apartment there for him where he lived most of the time.

It was the Summer break once again, and Buffy was so looking forward to spending as much time as possible with the man she adored and who she was proud to call her boyfriend. Most of her black clothes had disappeared along with her constant bad mood. Though she still enjoyed going to clubs sometimes and listening to her loud punkish music, she'd calmed down a great deal. She was sarcastic and often cutting with her remarks, but she wasn't half so wild or obnoxious as she once was.

As a surprise for her man, Buffy had asked Willow for a little help to look good when Spike arrived home today. It was a hot day and clearly leather pants were not the way to go, and anything she usually wore in this heat would be skimpy and slutty. Buffy wanted to look nice for once, like a girl. Not quite a lady of the manor type but just... nice.

"You look perfect" the red-head told her again as she pushed her away from the mirror and towards the door. They'd become pretty good friends over the past months, finding some good neutral ground between Buffy's old wild behaviour and Willow's shy and retiring manner.

"Woah, check out the Buffster all big with the sunny and stylish" Xander smiled as she came down the stairs in her strappy sun dress, with his sister at her side.

"Shut up, Xand" Buffy blushed as she approached the main doors, though there was no anger or nastiness in her tone or look. She liked him too much to be so mean to him.

The grin on her face only widened as she came out of the front door and saw Spike just getting out of the car Giles had said should be his own. When he turned and looked at her his jaw almost hit the ground and Buffy loved that she'd stunned him like that.

"You just gonna stand there and stare?" she asked, "Or you gonna come over here and show me how much you missed me?" she smirked as he came towards her, picking her up off the ground and spinning her around, the skirt of her uncharacteristically pretty dress swinging out at her knees.

As soon as her feet touched the ground again, Spike's lips were on hers, ruining the make up she'd so carefully applied, not that Buffy minded one little bit.

"Does that tell you how much I missed you?" he asked a moment later as they stood on the front steps, arms around each other and foreheads still touching.

"Pretty much" she smiled, "You like the dress, huh?" she checked.

"You look gorgeous, pet" he assured her, "Bit different, but in the best possible way" he said firmly before leaning in further to whisper in her ear, "We'll see later how easily I can get you out of it"

Buffy's eyes went wide at his words, though he'd said similar things before. She never got tired of being loved by this man, in any way at all.

"Here are the giggling children" said a voice behind them, making them pull away fast, "You are not the only one to miss our boy, dear sister" Dru smiled as she came out of the front door with Giles right behind her. It had been quite decided that if Spike and Buffy were moving into the mansion, Drusilla should also be invited. It meant bringing a fourth extra person since she needed round the clock attention and so a top quality psychiatric nurse was hired in the form of the kindly Tara who had became as much a part of the family as anyone else.

Dru and Giles took their turn in welcoming William back to the house, but his attention was all too soon dragged back to Buffy.

"Before we all disappear inside and get chatting" he said as he reached into his jacket pocket, "Got somethin' I sort of need to say"

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked, wondering if she already knew but hardly able to believe it.

"I love you, Buffy" he told her simply, "and I know you love me too. You and me, we're for life, I'm so sure of that and I'm hoping you'll let me make it official some day soon" he smiled nervously as he opened the small box in his hand and dropped to one knee, "Buffy Summers, will you marry me?" he asked, unsure as to whether the tears that built up in her eyes were a good or a bad sign until she smiled. This was how she always wanted it to be, how she always imagined it as a child. She looked like the princess now, and her prince was asking her to live happily ever after with him.

"Spike, I..." she began before shaking her head and making him panic a little, "Y'know I should really think about this" she joked, unable to make herself be serious at all.

"Come on, you minx" Spike smirked, "You're killing me here!"

"Of course I'll marry you" she said at last, laughing as he picked her up from the ground once again and spun around til she was dizzy. When he finally set her back on her feet he took the ring from it's box and placed it on her finger as Dru giggled and clapped madly in the background.

"Oh, and one more thing" Spike said suddenly, leaning closer to whisper in Buffy's ear, "Last one in the lake is a loser" he said, eyes sparkling with fun as he pulled back and looked at her shocked expression for a second. A moment later he went pelting off across the grounds, with Buffy right behind him, the pair of them yelling and laughing all the way. It was still nice to be a little wild sometimes.

The End

**A/N : And there it is, The End. That's all she wrote. I've enjoyed writing this fic so much, and it seems many of you enjoyed reading it too. Final reviews would be very much appreciated, so please share your opinions on the end of this story.**


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